Fate Led Me Here {SOULMATE A.U} {Liu Yuxin x Reader}

52. Lost Peace

Y/N's POV

March 22, 2021

"Hello, Y/N. How have you been?" Mrs. Emily Brown, my psychologist, asked.

She's a tall, skinny, tan woman in her mid thirties. She has been helping me recover for the last three months. There's no denying that it has truly been difficult. It's like having to start all over again and feeling so lost and confused.

"Hi, I'm great. You?" I asked politely, making her smile as she looked down at the clipboard laying across her lap.
"Brilliant." She answered.

Her office is strikingly different from most of the set up of the psychologists I often see on TV. Instead of the old fashioned brown toned walls and ceiling, hers is much more modern. Her walls are decorated in abstract paintings and quotes, giving it a more honey approach.

To be honest, I don't really see the need to see a psychologist, but my grandparents insisted. They claimed that it would help me regain my memories faster. I couldn't say that it's a lie since I've been having a few flashbacks and memories but it is not that effective. For me, at least. I've only been able to remember some things from my childhood and teenage life. Luckily, I was able to remember Grammie and Grandpapa quickly. It feels so horrible, like everyone around me knows me except for my own self.

I am determined to get my memories back. Although the doctors have warned me to not push myself, I can't help it. It's like I've been missing out on something. That's why I'm still here in Los Angeles. I want to recover. I also want to come back to China but I want to do that when I can fully remember.

"We won't be doing much today, just talking. Was there any progress?" She asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Oh, umm, well. Remember the girl I've been dreaming of? The one with short hair? I dreamt of her again last night." I started. She visibly perked up as she leaned forward.

"Then what? Were you able to see her face clearly this time?" She asked, making me give her a small smile and nod
"Yes, I was even calling her name in my dream. C-China? Chynna? Yeah, I think that's it." I answered, making her hum and nod.
"But the dream was much more different from the ones I had a couple of days ago." I added, making her brow raise.
"Really? How so?" She asked, making me sigh.

"The dreams I had the past days, were much more pleasant. In a way that I felt happy in those dreams. Last night however, I felt vulnerable. Like I am terrified." I tried to explain as I fiddled with my hand.
"Can you recall the dream?" She asked, making me nod.

"It's all so vivid, like I'm watching an old film of some sort. I remember that the both of us were in a side walk. I think there's a party too, since we were in gowns. We were arguing about something. The last thing I remember before I wake up is me trying to run away from her." I started.

"Honestly, I don't understand. I asked Grammie and Grandpapa about her this morning. But they didn't tell me anything except that her name is Kai Chynna. It's frustrating, maybe this would all be easier if they actually just tell me the things that happened." I huffed out, frustrated as I slumped defeatedly on the chair.

"Y/N, you know they can't just do that. The doctors made it clear that you have to regain your memories in your own pace and naturally. Forcing it can cause even more damage to you." She reminded.
"Yes, I know. I just want my life back." I sighed and brushed my hair back and away from my face.

"You're still wearing it." She stated, making me furrow my brows.
"What?"

"That bracelet on your left wrist. I noticed that you've had it since our fist session." She explained, making me blink in surprise and stare at her. I didn't expect that.
"Never mind. Sorry if it's too nosy." She said, waving the question off awkwardly, making me shake my head.