No judgement

14

"Hey Baylee, It's Niall. I was coming to make sure that you are okay. You ran to the house pretty fast." He said throught the door. I opened my mouth and a noise came out revealing I've been crying. Dammit.

"Yeah I'm fine. Thank you." I said. Obviously lying which he knew as well. He asked me to unlock the door and I did. Seeing his face as he walked into the bathroom, locking it behind him. He sat down on the ground next to me. He put his arms around me.

"You don't have to talk about it. I just want you to know it's not worth crying over. Whatever it is. You should have saw how happy you were up on that stage. The smile that you had when they all sang your song. You were happy. Remember that." He said to me. He is right, it's not worth crying over. It just hurts like hell. I started crying uncontrollably again. I put my head in his chest, he didn't seem to care. This is nice just having someone to cry too.

"My dad. He texted me telling me that I don't deserve any of this. He said that I killed my mother. He keeps saying that. He is the reason that I have hated my life so much. I have wanted to just end it all for so long becuase of him. Then I met Harry and I saw a bright future. I saw happiness. He keeps ruining that though. Everytime I have a good thing happen to me, he ruins it. I am just so tired of trying. So tired of living when I get told to kill myself daily." Wow, he is really easy to talk to. He listens really well too. It's nice. I kept my head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat filling my ears.

"What happened? Why does he think you killed her?" He asked me. I took a really deep breath. I don't know if I want to tell him, but at the same time I have a weird feeling that he is trust worthy. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I get it." He said but I made up my mind.

"Uhm so you heard my song. That night I went to a party because my boyfriend invited me. He made me think that if I don't go then I am a loser, so he picked me up that night. I had a few drinks but not enough to get drunk, he thought that I was drunk though. So he led me to a bedroom, telling me that he just wanted to have a moment to ourselves. He put his hand on my thigh at first which was normal so I didn't think anything of it. He started to go up my leg though...I tried to smack his hand away from my body, but he held it in place. I screamed for someone to help me but the music was too loud... I prayed for someone to walk by and hear me but no one helped. That was my first time. My only time. I am super scared of commitment because of that." I took a moment. This is the most in depth I have ever told this story.

"Is Harry careful with you? Does he know about this?" He asked. He doesn't know we have a fake relationship.

"Uhm Harry and I aren't actually together. I am in a relationship with him publicly because he is with Louis. I want what is best for them, so that is why I agreed to it... but he knows about the sexual assault, you are the only one that knows the details." I said to him. He looked kind of taken aback. He doesn't seem very surprised about Louis and Harry, I heard that they were together when the band was together. "When he got done, he left the room...leaving me there completely alone, helpless. I called my mom to come get me. She was disappointed that I had been drinking, but she wasn't worried about that. She was worried about the fact that my boyfriend could do that to me. So she picked me up, and convinced me to go to the police. When we were 2 blocks from the police station, someone ran a stop sign...they were going full speed and hit the car on the drivers side. I blacked out...but when I came too, I saw my mom's lifeless body, I never will get that imagine out of my head. That's all that I remember. My dad doesn't know anything but the fact that my mom died." I said to him. My crying slowed, but I am still crying. He pulled me into a tighter hug, not letting me go.

"You did not kill her, your dad is just a jerk. I am so sorry for everything that you have been through. You should not have ever went through that. No one should. You deserve to have the most wonderful life. Just remember that your dad is at home sitting around watching your success, as you are singing with one of the most famous singers of all time. Just think of that the next time that he tries to put you down." He said, I smiled. I know that's true... but he always knows how to use the right words to get me.

"I feel like we are going to such great friends." I said looking at him in the eyes.

"Besties for the resties." He said making me laugh. He laughed too. "Are you okay? Do you feel better?" He asked me. He doesn't want to change the subject to make me feel better, he wants to make sure I'm okay.

"I think I'm good, if I'm not I will let you know." I said. He got up, pulling me up as well. "Thank you for listening to me. It felt nice to have someone to talk to. You were so easy to talk to, Harry listens but it's different." I said kind of suspired with what I said as well. I know Harry is always there for me, but he doesn't give me the feeling that I have now.

"Well I'm honored to be that person for you. I am so glad that we met. I hope me and you can hang out soon." He said, which made me smile.

"I would love that." I said making him smile as well. This is nice. We have a connection, I don't know what it is yet...but it's so nice. He pulled me in for one last hug, I smiled and pulled away. He unlocked the door. Letting me go out into the hallway first. I walked to the living room where everyone was. We were gone for a while.

"Where have you guys been?" Harry asked.

"I needed someone to talk to. He was there." I said. I don't want to go into too much detail. I don't really want to talk about it anymore, Harry could tell too. He knows when I don't want to talk about things. So he dropped it. "Your food is right over there." He pointed to the counter. I walked over and grabbed Niall and I's food. Handing his too him. He patted to the couch next to him, for me to sit next to him. I sat down, smiling at him.

"So Baylee, have you been writing any new music?" Louis asked me.

"I have actually. I don't know how I feel about any of it though. Know that I know a lot of people will listen to my music, I am so nervous that it wont be good enough." I said honestly.

"Can I hear one of them?" Niall asked me. I smiled at him.

"What instruments do you play?" I asked him. I have an idea.

"I play the guitar." He said.

"Do you want to help me finish one of my songs. I don't know what else to do with it. It would be great if you would, maybe, help me." I said. I have heard some of his music, it's really good.

"Yeah I would love that." He said which made me smile yet again. I looked over to Harry and he was looking in between the both of us, smiling. I smiled at him. Niall really is such a sweet guy. Harry made eye contact with me.

"Get it girl." He mouthed to me. I laughed at him, once I did I covered my mouth. Making everyone else laugh as well. I love my friends. They always make me feel better. Now I have even more friends.