No judgement

19

Pain, it is part of life. Whether you want it to be or not. As my favorite movie says...Pain demands to be felt...Before you ask, Niall and I are fine. We are better than ever. So what is it? What could possibly be making me have so much pain? Well that's the scary part, I would never have expected to feel this much pain over this. I got a call from one of my aunts, on my dads side, last night. They gave me some of the worst news.

My dad passed away. He was horrible to me, but he was still my dad. I remembered the dad, the one that cared about me...The dad I had before my mom passed. That's the dad I choose to remember today. Whether he was there for me or not, he was my dad...it hurts like hell. I have no parents. None. I am parentless. I am 25 years old, but it still hurts like hell.

The one night that Niall isn't here is when I need him the most. Once I got off of the phone with my aunt, I couldn't help but cry. My dad is gone. I know that Niall said to call him whenever I need him, so that's what I am going to do. I pulled up his number.

"Hello?" Niall said, he was obviously asleep. Now I feel bad.

"Uhm...Niall. I uh..." I burst into tears. I couldn't stop.

"Baby...Baylee." He kept trying to get my attention but I can't stop crying. "I'm on my way." He said. I tried to stop him, there is no reason for him to be getting up in the middle of the night...to drive all the way to Harry's house. I don't want to argue it right now, I need him. "Wake up Harry, or someone until I get there. You don't need to be alone." He said. He doesn't even know what's bothering me. He validates my feeling no matter what. I agreed, walking out of my room...knocking on Harry's door.

"Who is it?" He said, he's very sleepy.

"Uhm...Harry..." Before I could say anything else the door was opened. Once he saw I have been crying, he pulled me into a hug.

"Did Niall hurt you? I'm going to kill him." Harry said. I looked up at him.

"NO! I don't want to talk about what did happen until Niall gets here, I needed someone. I don't want to be alone right now." Louis joined us at the door. They led me to the living room, sitting down on the couch. I leaned into Harry, soaking his shirt.

About 10 minutes later, the front door opened. I got up off the couch running to Niall. I ran into his arms, he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest. "Niall he died." I said, sobbing again.

"Who?" He asked, he is panacking.

"My dad, he died. I hated that man, but now I wish we would have had a better relationship. He use to be a great father. That's the father that I am upset about loosing." I said to him. I can't believe I am this upset about someone that didn't care about me.

"You don't have to explain youself. He was still your dad, you are allowed to be devestated. No one here is going to argue with you over that." He said. He picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I am going to go to his funeral. Would you guys come with me? I mean you can stay at the house, no one will see you. If not I totally get it." I said. They obviously can't go, everyone would recognize them. That hurts me that they wont be able to go, I need them.

"We will be there." Louis said. Niall and Harry agreed with him.

"You can't. Everyone will recognize you." I said. Shutting them down. I'm not that important.

"We will be there. It doesn't matter who knows who we are. We are going to be there for you Baylee." Niall said. I buried my face farther into his chest.

"You are my best friend. You have given me so much to be thankful for, I am not going to abandon you in a time like this. You need us, I vow to be there for you. I love you Baylee, We will be there. No questions asked." Harry said. I looked at him. He is truly become my best friend. The way we met was just a crazy coincidence, but it led to something so beautiful. Our friendship.

"Thank you guys." I said. Niall grabbed my face. "I know, I know. I don't need to thank you." I playfully rolled my eyes, causing us all to laugh. They never fail to make me laugh.

"Damn right you don't." Niall said. I smiled at him, looking deeply in his eyes.

"Where are we traveling too?" Harry asked. I forgot about that part. They are going to be so bored.

"Indiana, it's the most boring place to be." I said. They laughed, but I didn't. "I'm serious. All there is, is Mcdonalds and cornfields." They laughed at that. This time I gave in and did the same thing.

I fell asleep in Niall's lap, I was so exausted and just needed sleep. I felt him carry me upstairs, but I didn't fully wake up...waking up in the morning didn't feel real. It felt like I just had the biggest nightmare, and now I have to completely face reality. I rolled over to see Niall sound asleep. That gives me a little bit of happiness. He is so cute when he is asleep. He is cute all the time, but it's different in the morning. He opened his eyes, looking directly at me.

"Hey beautiful, how do you feel this morning?" He asked me. I didn't want to hide my feeling. If I do it will just cause more pain.

"Scared." I said truthfully. He directed his full attention to me.

"Why is that luv?" He asked. That is the first time he has called me that. I know it's normal for him though.

"I am so scared to have to face reality. I don't want it to be real, I want it to have just been a bad dream. Now I have to face a whole bunch of people I haven't seen in years. I am just so scared." I said. He grabbed my face.

"I will be by your side through all of this. You will not be alone a single second." He said. I leaned into him. Our foreheads touching, I don't want to kiss right now. I just want to sit like this. I want this man to just look at me. Make me feel safe with his eyes. He could tell I don't want a kiss right now, I just need him. He dropped his hands from my face and I wrapped my arms around his body. Cuddling up to him.

"When do we leave for Indiana?" He asked me.

"Tomorrow if that's okay with you." I said. He shook his head. I need to get up and pack but I don't want to right now. I want to stay right where we are. So that is what we did...