The Runaways

Chapter Sixty-One - Easier Said Than Done

Corban

"Warren... can we see how bad it is?" I asked as Cleveland and I knelt down next to Warren who was laying in the grass and holding his face with his hands groaning in pain from just getting his ass handed to him by Remington. I actually felt bad for him, more than just getting punched in the face, getting beaten up by Remington. I know as well as anyone the second Remington is better at you in anything he won't shut up about it and seeing how Warren has made him look like an idiot ever since we met I don't think this would blow over quickly.

Warren didn't say anything in response instead he just slowly pulled his hands off his face. His left eye was already starting to swell up by the looks of it and his nose was gushing blood. Warren looked like he was in a lot of pain but it was easy to tell he was holding it all in to avoid adding on to the shame of getting your ass beat by Remington. I felt bad. I felt so guilty. It was my fault Warren fought with Remington because I insisted on staying with them because I'm too scared to let go. Now Warren will be mad at more or even worse he could've been concussed. I could feel a pit growing in my stomach, I felt like the worst person in the world.

"Warren you should sit up, get all that blood out from your nose..." I said in a quiet voice. I was so scared he was going to be furious with me.

Warren just nodded in agreement as he slowly sat up with the help of Cleveland who had a hand on his back. Warren winced as he sat up muttering about how his back hurt from being tackled so hard. He looked awful. The second he sat up blood just started dripping from his nose in such big drops it looked like entire blood clots.  Cleveland still looked furious, it was so weird seeing him show any other emotion besides his timid and shy nature, I had no idea Cleveland could be this scary. Seeing this six-foot-six-inch man with the build of a football sit there with steam practically blowing out of his ears only made that pit in my stomach grow more. God now both Warren and Cleveland were going to be upset with me, there's no way they're letting me go with them now. I blew it. I had a chance to actually work on finding my dad and I blew it. Just because I was afraid of saying goodbye to people I don't even like that much. I'm such an idiot. I could feel my eyes watering as I sat there in guilt and shame.

"I think I'm going to talk to Remington." Cleveland muttered aggressively.

"Cleveland you don't have to." Warren said in a tired and quiet voice.

"No. I want to." Cleveland grumbled as he stood up and walked over to where Elias and Remington were sitting down in the grass while Blake and Reece stood in the middle not knowing what to do. Remington was sitting with his arms crossed and he looked just as pissed off as Cleveland.

I watched as Cleveland start to yell at Remington, going on about how he thought it was okay to hit Warren let alone tackle him and continue to punch him repeatedly in the face. I never thought Cleveland could get so loud and so angry at someone. Remington just sat there ignoring him and staring at the ground. The pit in my stomach just grew larger and it suddenly felt like everyone was mad at me, if Remington finds out I wanted to leave with Warren he probably wouldn't want me around either. I really messed up. At this point I couldn't hold back anymore and tears were falling down my cheeks and I was making a weird shaky gasping noise from holding in everything.

I watched Warren turn his head and open his mouth to say something as he looked at me with concern. I felt even more guilty just by crying, like I was trying to make this whole situation about me and take away from the fact Warren could literally be concussed. So before Warren could say anything to me I shot up and started running away. I nearly tripped as I took off my glasses to wipe my watering eyes as I took off. The guilt just kept piling up, and with every step I had another reason to have more guilt pile onto me. I ran pretty far out, far enough where no one could see me and I slumped up against a tree and cried. I was trying to catch my breath while also making small sobs resulting in an ugly gasping sound as I ended up choking on some of my salvia. It was gross and I felt horrible as I sat there.

I should be happy. I have the best opportunity of my life right now and yet every move I make I feel guilty. I'm so scared of slipping up and making Warren mad at me and I'm also so scared of leaving the only people who have been good to me since I got separated from my dad. Sure it's not love, and sure it's not the best treatment in the world but Reece, Elias, and Remington are the closest thing I ever had to a family. Even when I had my dad it was always just me and him. I'm scared if I leave them I'll miss them, and I'll end up regretting it and that they'll hate me for leaving. But at this point I can't just tell Warren I'm no longer going I already screwed things up enough for him.

God why is this so hard?