Just a Dream (hawksxreader)

8

Once back, Things went back to normal. Him working hours, and you spent time home and now with his feather; hung on a chain around tour neck. You felt safer to travel outside. Things were well, the bond you had created with him admist the times was growing or so you hoped. One day, you spent time chatting in the living room. He lay sprawled on the couch, as you sat on the floor drinking warm tea. You both smiled and laughed and for a moment all your worries melted away. The only things that mattered was the boy who was casually flying his feathers around the room.

"I hope carrying around one of my feathers isn't weird",he chuckled

"No not at all, it makes a good accessory",you laughed

"Well I worry you know",you mumbled as he glanced away,"Or that you'd find it weird."

You stifled a laugh,"No I appreciate it Thanks, even when you don't have to you worry about me. I know I can count on you"

The sudden look of guilt that crossed his face made you frown and an uneasy feeling in your stomache worried you.

"Hawks..?"

"(Y/n)...I'm sorry."

Your body froze in shock,"How do you know that name....?",his lack of response made you even uneasier,"Hawks."

"I...I'm really sorry, but...",he trailed off as he slowy sat up his wings hung down almost in defeat,"Ive been lying to you all this time."

"You've what?",you stood up staring him down,"About what?!"

"Where I found you. Your name. And Why no one's come to pick you up",he replied slowly and softly as if raising his voice would make things worse

You stared at him in utter shock and disbelief,"Why?"

"I-I thought you were a villian-"

"What gave you that idea?! Where was I found!"

"I found you in a lake ok!",he snaps but calms down his wings which had puffed up were calming down too,"At first you seemed like a lost girl, but your sketchbook..."

"My lost pages",you uttered in disbelief,"Those missing pages that was you?"

"Yes, they contained drawings of me and at first I believed you to be a devoted fan but there was more...there were writing on some pages about theories and my past ",he paused,"I immediately assumed you were a spy or a villian who failed a mission on me

"I had things about you?",You spoke out loud

"The fact you knew my name the moment you woke up made it proof enough but I hadn't sensed any hatred or bloodlust off you."

"So you also have a name...keigo?"

He stared up wide eyed,"I never had a name it didn't feel like a name to me but when you began calling to me, and at the hospital, you gave it meaning."

You ignored his words,"So this whole time, I've felt lost and scared because I didnt know who I was you. You stayed on the sides just watching knowing Damn well how I felt or what you ignored my feelings to make the job easier?!"

"No (y/n)",he pleaded softly

"Was it fun?.... Messing with me?",you spoke coldly,"Did you atleast find your answers?"

He stared eyes holding sadness as he shook his head in a silent response.

"(Y/n)...Its not the best of time but being with you has given me a reason to fight. You're the reason I don't fly in storms, why I eat healthy",he began but with each word it broke you inside little by little.

Stop you screamed at him but you could only stare in disbelief wideyed as he approached you slowly

"You're my reason (y/n)!",he rested his hands on your shoulders as his wings wrapped around you, just they had once before,"because I've grown to lo-."

His face snapped to the side by the force of your hand smacking into his cheek. He turned slowly touching where your hand had met his face. Tears were now furiously streaming down your face.

"Don't...don't mention love to me, when all you've done it lie and manipulate me!",you snapped,"So please dont",you stepped back allowing for his arms and wings to fall down numbly.

"I see...",his voice shook slightly,"I never should've gotten ahead of myself like that..."

"..Keigo?",you called out worriedly

"No, it's hawks",he replied as he turned stomping towards the door,"you're right, I don't deserve to speak about love when I've done this, I don't deserve to love, especially not someone like you",he paused hand on the door handle as he turned the sad expression and the tears that streamed down his cheek making you shatter inside,"I'm sorry."

The door slammed shut behind him, shakingly you fell to your knees taking everything in. The person you'd allowed yourself to believe in, was a lie. Everything you thought and held dear to you, was a lie. Everything was a lie. He was a liar. You felt your throst tighten allowing yourself to swallow the sour pill he'd thrown your way.

"A-ahh...AAAAHHH",you screamed out as all the the pain and deception was finally allowed out, sobs filled the empty and cold place.

Hawks POV

After having left the place he now stood outside the door, gathering himself. His wings felt insanely heavy, they felt lifeless to say the least.

"A-ahh....AAAAHHH",your cries of pain had him almost running back but recalling your words he could only press a palm against the door

It didn't help that the feather you were still wearing, let him feel the vibration of your body as you cried only adding more to his pain. He kmew he deserved it. He had learned early in life that he wasn't worthy of anything good but yet you'd appeared to him. And Yet he had hoped, that for once, something he touched didn't get tainted.

"I love you....my songbird."