Sex Games

Not In The Mood To Make Love

I didn't expect a certain someone to be on the right side of the bed when I woke up, but he was there anyway and I couldn't do anything about it. I looked up into his longing eyes and he gazed into mine. I had a sad expression on my face because I knew what I had done wasn't my fault and he knew that but, it wasn't right either. He tried to kiss me but I turned on my side. He became persistent because he moved close to my body and I got out of the bed. His hurt expression killed me on the inside. I wanted him to hold me, but I couldn't help feel that I wasn't deserving of it.

"Ahsoka, What's wrong?"

"I can't have you touch me or anything that involves intimacy."

"Why? What's wrong? What is your motive for this? I'm not understanding."

"When I had sex with Zint I thought I was going to control the situation and do as less as possible. Zander, I did the exact opposite and to be honest I enjoyed every bit of it. For that I feel I'm not deserving of you. I've felt like I cheated on you."

"There is nothing to be sad or ashamed about. I enjoyed myself to you know. So don't be sad because you enjoyed sex with another person. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, surprisingly, but don't neglect me because you feel your done something wrong."

"I'm sorry I'm neglecting you, but you don't understand. I feel that I've betrayed you Zander and I don't think I can really continue this game with us in a relationship."

"So you wanna break up? I that what you are saying?"

"No, I don't want that. At least I think I don't. You know what, I don't want us to break up cause I love you. If I'm ever neglecting you just tell me. I promise I'll think of your needs before mine."

"Your needs are just as important as mine so don't hesitate to tell me your needs, ok. If you ever feel we should break up just talk to me and we can talk it out ok."

"Ok. Hey, you enjoyed having sex with her. Really?"

"Just like you I sometimes need. break from our little love story."

"True. Well I'm glad we had our breaks from our little love story."

After Zander talked to me about my situation I felt better. It was as if all of my thoughts about what happened didn't exist anymore. All of my thoughts except the ones about Zint. I couldn't get his face out of my mind. He was sexy and I couldn't help but fantasize about what could have happened.