Healing Myself

Hypocrisy and assumptions

I was grateful. Grateful that these two huge men weren't potential vandals. But this North was seriously messing with me with his narrowed eyes and unnecessary statements. 

I guess I couldn't blame him for being alert, but I couldn't just go ahead and tell him that I had seen the miniscule movement Silas' eyes had unconsciously made by diverting toward him when he had said his name. Normal people weren't freaks. They didn't notice every other movement someone did in their presence because they were afraid of getting caught off guard again. 

Of getting hurt again.

"Listen, North-," When I was about to tell him that I had made a mere assumption, just to get out of the situation I had gotten myself into with this brute, my phone rang. Dylan's deep voice singing Shawn's 'Kid in love' fills my ears, the sound of his acoustic guitar accompanying it, and I'm smiling by the time I take a look at who is calling me. 

It's Lake. My first girlfriend who I was okay with touching.

Now technically, Lake is a guy, though he prefers the pronoun she; but the thing is, she is uncomfortable with males and that was the reason she started dressing as a girl, and overtime she began to like it. From the bits and pieces I know of her story, she was bullied by boys in school and abused by her father for her 'girly' physique, and was almost on the verge of death by the time the Academy found her. She tried to change her body and her attitude before, but then she decided, why not embrace it instead? I suspect there's more to it, but she doesn't know my entire story, so I can't expect all of hers.

She might have changed and begun to embrace herself as is, but Lake still struggles with her sexuality. It's only natural though; her body is being pulled in two different directions and is confused about where to go. As of now, she is emancipated and living in her own apartment. It works for her as she is more of a loner, and it works for me too; because days like these are when I need her.

Do you like girls too now, Sang?

Seriously, shut up conscience.

"Lake, hi" I greet her while moving toward a corner and signalling to the two men that it'll take a moment. "Hey Sang," she says, "the girls just called me. They want us all to get together today, at mine."

"They do? When?" It's surprising, that they want to meet up. It'll be our first time after what happened.

"Yup. They said they'll all be there by afternoon, as Carla will be making lunch for everyone. After that, I guess we'll all hang out and everyone will stay the night like usual." I'm not sure if she is asking me, or just informing me in hopes that I would come, but dad's words and my pep talk come back to mind, and I'm agreeing without a second thought.

"Actually, I'm at the mall picking up some snacks for tonight and haven't had breakfast yet. Would you like to eat with me? We can head straight to mine after that." she says cautiously, but I don't think she realizes there's nothing to be cautious about. We're friends and friends don't hesitate before asking things from each other. And it's not as if she's asking a favor of me, either.

"I'd love that. In fact, I was just heading there and haven't had breakfast either."

"That's great. How long before you'll be here?"

"Start ordering. I'll be there before Cody serves the meal."

We say our goodbyes and hang up. In case you're wondering, Cody is a part-time worker at the food court of the mall in our locality. How I know him, well, it's not that hard. Last year, when I was a sophomore, Cody was a senior in our school and is now in his first year of college. We had often worked side by side while volunteering at the school office, eventually becoming friends. Dylan hadn't really liked him at first, but he had come around.