Healing Myself

You met who?

Telling them about Luke led to telling them about Gabriel, and telling them about Gabriel led to telling them about Victor.

I probably could've skirted around the truth if I wanted to-my lying skills aren't exactly top notch-but I didn't see any reason to do it. Now, skirting around the truth seems like the best decision. Or what could've been the best decision, had I not decided to tell them everything already, because as soon as I mentioned Victor Morgan-

Danielle: "You met Victor fucking Morgan?!"

Carla: "You met Victor freaking Morgan?!"

Danielle and Carla are very much alike, except Carla's aversion to cursing. She is like me in that aspect. Although, unlike her, my aversion doesn't mean that I would ever stop anyone from cursing out loud if they wanted to. Everyone has their own ways of expressing themselves, and America is a free country.

And that previous sentence was a warning, from what, you'll get to know that in the future.

Lake and Karen weren't even bothered with this new discovery, though Karen did look a little wide-eyed. I guess Danielle's constant presence does that to you, and why wouldn't it? The girl lives for gossip. Even though she isn't straight, she'd have to be deaf to not hear about Victor. Even then she'd probably have seen him though.

Time to calm their mares down. "Yes, I did. He was wandering around the mall with his friends."

"So was he like, as good looking as they make him look in the tabloids?" Danielle questions. Karen narrows her eyes towards her, but says nothing. That's good. A fight between them can be really painful for the bystanders. Well, it's aftermath can be. When the argument actually goes down, and I feel really bad for saying this, it's pretty funny. Danielle is the only one speaking as Karen pretends to ignore her presence.

"You should grow your hair out"

We are all hanging out in my room. Me, Carla, Lake, Karen and Danielle. Tomorrow's Labor Day and we don't have school so we decided to just lounge around tonight. Tomorrow we'll be going out to an ice rink that's open all-year round.

We were just talking about how it was brave of Karen to get her head shaved on the sides when Danielle brought this suggestion up and now she can't seem to let it go.

"I don't think so." Karen tells her.

Danielle stops stroking her hair and looks into her eyes as she tells her, "It'll look great."

Karen lifts her head from her lap, sitting up cross-legged. "I don't want to grow them out. I'll look hideous", she says while twirling around one of the strands that have fallen on the front.

Danielle doesn't stop and gives her a wide-eyed look instead. "Are you kidding me? You'll look lovely."

"I don't want to grow them out though"

"Of course you do."

I exchange glances with Lake and Carla, having no doubt about exactly where this conversation is heading.

Carla tries to step in. Key word: tries. "Danielle", she says in a soothing tone.

"Are you even listening to her Carla? Did you guys hear how she blatantly refused to even try?" She patronizes her girlfriend. Karen just sits there with a bored look on her face.

Danielle goes on and on and on. "You have to at least try."

No reply.

"Your hair is such a deep brown, it'll look so pretty."

No reply.

"Oh come on, are you even listening to me?"

No reply.

"Karen! Look at me!"

A blank stare.

"Urgh! This is stupid! Why am I even doing this?"

It took them 3 days, a tension-filled ice rink visit and a forced awkward date to get over it, and only then did any of us feel like we could breathe freely.

Now that I think back to it, I don't feel like going through the agony again. It's true that when a relationship suffers, not only the people involved in it suffer, but also the people surrounding it.

I try to change the subject because one, I don't want a fight to break out, and two, I don't think I can describe Victor without thinking about his simmering eyes. His simmering eyes that seemed to ignite as they looked at me.

"Do you know they're going to open a diner near our neighbourhood?" I tell them.

"A diner? Where?" Karen is the one to question.

"I was walking by the old church today and saw a jeep parked there, so I decided to check it out. There were two guys inside taking measurements of the place. They told me one of the guys' uncle is going to turn it into a diner."

"They're going to take down the church? Kids are going to be pissed." Danielle mumbles as she sits back on the couch, checking out her nails. Her interest has been lost. It's clear she doesn't care what happens to the church. She's always thought of it as a 'grimy shithole'.

"Everyone's going to forget about it in no time. They're gonna get food." Lake comments. Noone can argue with that. Food is food. Nobody can live on a diet of air and water.

Carla adds, "They'll need staff, won't they? Maybe I can get a job."

"I'm sure you'll get one, Carla," I answer, "You're one of the most self-sufficient people I know." That sentence couldn't be any more true. She had known when to approach the authorities about her parents, she had truly believed they could be better; and now, after being kicked out, she was living with Lake and straightening up her space like her life wasn't getting out of her hands. I admired her level-headedness and her girly attitude.

Danielle observes the both of us for a moment before announcing, "Ok, can we stop with the sappy stuff now and watch a shitty movie?"

Everyone agrees with a chorus of yes and soon we are watching Mean Girls like we haven't already watched this movie a thousand and hundred times before. By the end of the movie, we are all moving the table aside and spreading blankets on the floor. Lake and Karen move the table while Danielle brings all the pillows and Carla and I retrieve the blankets. It's just afternoon but we're all going to laze around and save energy for the upcoming activities that I'm sure are going to be tiresome.

And that's exactly what we do. We watch Mean Girls 2 and become mean girls ourselves as we indulge in the gossip Danielle and Carla provide us. Finally, we somehow, painfully get up and begin the preparations of dinner. Carla and I get to work in the kitchen, and even Karen helps a little. Apparently, she and Danielle have been taking cooking classes together once a week. Danielle and Lake bicker like usual and provide us with good entertainment while we work.

It is nice, uplifting, normal, to be together like this again. I can only hope that we can stay like this. Happy, warm and most of all, together.

•••••

AN: I know you've spent quite a lot of time with Sang and the girls by now. So next chapter, we'll shift the focus and you'll see one more of her memories including none other than.....