Tainted Love (bxb)

Chapter 30 - Soulmates

"Maybe we should check up on your dad he seemed a little upset and-" 

"Asher....please" Riley said and I closed my eyes, wishing to be able to turn back time and stop Daniel from speaking these words. He should have known...he should have known, that it would be better for Riley to not know about the existence of mates and that he was mine. I mean, normally it was a gift. Having a mate was the biggest gift the moon goddess had given us. A person carved out of the same soul, who understands you, loves you from the moment of their awakening till the end of time, who never hurts you and wants to do anything for you. It was a gift and of course you could never live without that person once you have found them. 

But Riley didn't feel any of that. He may feel a certain pull towards me, that made him kiss me back then in the forest, while he was still together with Sawyer, but he could live without me. He didn't have these urges to have me by his side, not at least differently than a normal human loving another human connection. He liked me, so far, but that could change and it wouldn't hurt him leaving me behind. Maybe he would experience a heartbreak, but my heart would literally shatter into pieces. I wanted to protect him from that truth. I knew Riley had a good heart, a kind one, that didn't want to hurt the people he cared for and so if he found out, that if he ever decided to not want to be with me, that could be my end, it would kill him. 

I didn't want him to have to stay with me, because he felt obligated to do so and didn't want to be the reason behind my long and horrifying suffering, that would lead to my death eventually. He should be free and if he wanted to be with somebody else, alone, or just not with me anymore, he should be able to do that, without knowing the consequences and fearing for my safety. He should at least have that much of a normal life after just finding out that he wasn't as much human as he thought he was and neither was his father. 

But I knew I couldn't lie to my mate. His father would tell him, eventually, anyway, but it seemed physically impossible for me to lie to him. After everything today, he deserved better than to get lied to by me, even though it might protect him. Riley was still looking at me, so much sorrow in his eyes, but I don't think that was directed at me for keeping this part from him, but just about everything that had happened today. I took a deep breath, because I was not ready for this. I actually thought I would somehow manage to never ever tell him about us being mates, but maybe, I could just leave out the part where I will die if he ever leaves. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea! Its not lying, I will just protect him again. 

"Ok so uhm...the Moon Goddess gave us werewolves a great gift. When she created us, our souls, she split them in half, creating two separate people that shared a soul. A soulmate you could say, but not entirely. This person is literally made for us and we are for them. We understand them on a deeper level, feel a connection we wouldn't have with anybody else. A wolf is only truly happy and fulfilled when having found their mate" I started, as always, with history and Riley listened, very patiently. 

"Now I already told you, wolves feel a deep connection, like the mind link, with their pack and their families, but nothing can be compared to the connection we feel with our mate. Its like they give us air, making life worth living and that is why wolves who haven't found their mate yet will go on year long searches for them, because they always feel incomplete" I said and Riley just listened, looking at me with a slight frown, since so many questions were probably flying through his head. 

"So wait, we- we share a soul? Or are we different because I- uh- I'm half human? Oh god it still sends a shiver down my spine saying that" he said and I cracked a weak smile, knowing that my mate's head was so full right now, he probably just wanted to lay down on his bed, wrapped in blankets with a box of apple juice and stay there for a week straight.