The hate game

28

Dylan,
      I know you're hurting right now and I'm so sorry, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, I just you'd hope understand one day. I want you to know that I'm hurting also and I didn't mean for whatever happened to happen. I loved my brother the same way you loved your sister and I've punished myself enough, I've made myself pay enough and so have you and I want you to know that I'm here for you and I'd never leave you alone especially now  'cause we are in this together. Please talk to me Dylan and I'd be waiting for you whenever you are ready to talk with me.
                                                    With love,
                                                     Ashley ❤️

Dylan,
   How are you doing today? I hope you are okay. This is just a quick reminder that I'm here if you need me.
                                                     With love,
                                                    Ashley ❤️

Dylan,
   I know you'd be feeling more hurt today than usual, can you please talk to me. We can share our memories of them together and visit them today.
                                                     With love,
                                                    Ashley ❤️.

Dylan,
     I didn't see you yesterday I hope you are fine. I'm very sorry Dy please talk to me, just this once please.
                                                      With love
                                                     Ashley ❤️.
Dylan,
      Today's the last day of school, can we meet somewhere? I hope you are doing well. Please let me know Dylan, I know you have my number you can call me.
                                                       With love
                                                     Ashley ❤️.

I've been getting letters like this all week, this girl is really unrelenting, Jesus. I hop to the front door of my house to go for my morning run and I see another letter at my doorstep, I smile and pick up the letter, shove it in my pocket and run down the driveway.

I like the letters to be sincere, they helped me feel a little bit better than before and I admit I did better than in the past during the anniversary of their death, normally I'd break stuff around the house and drink myself to sleep but this time around I just re-read Ash letters, refrained from calling Ash and meeting with her and I finally slept the most peaceful for weeks now.

I feel like a girl who finally got what her crush to ask her out, it's weird but I like the feeling. I wonder what's in today's letter, I can't wait to read it, it's like the starter to my day. Stupid boy, I say to myself.

I open the letter carefully and shove my wet hair backwards, I smile at her neat handwriting.

Dylan,
     It's another weekend and I don't know if you have plans but I'm willing to disrupt my full expense paid lounging around my house. I'm just a call away Dy, just a call away. Just pick up your phone, push your pride away and call me or pick up my call, very easy.
                                                       With love,
                                                     Ashley ❤️.

I laugh at her antics, I don't know when she started calling me Dy but I like the name. Right on cue my phone rings and sure enough the screen reads Chipmunk, I let it ring twice and picked it up at the third ring. I hear her sharp intake before she says "Dy???" and I don't say anything