My Guardian Angel (Angel!Link x Religious!Reader Oneshots) PART 2

The Girl With Holiday Blues

Your POV

I have seasonal depression and I'm not happy during holidays. I don't have the spirit in me. I think there's something missing. My happiness is now turned to sheer sadness. My heart broke in halves just thinking about it. How great...that sounds fantastic.

Why do I even bother? I thought it was supposed to make me happy but I'm not. That's not the point and I don't feel like it anymore. I've always been in a awful mood lately. Sometimes I'm beginning to act completely different. I'm as plain as a piece of blank paper.

I mean, look at me. I have some kind of neuroticism; a term for depression. The holidays I experienced in the past is nothing but misery. I haven't received any gifts or presents. I didn't get the chance to be glad or happy at myself for instance. As I opened it, I found a lame gift that I cannot accept.

I shook my head, a gloomy look still written on my face. I threw it in the trash or keep it in the closet as a reminder that I'll never forget. I've been through the whole time but I'm still not happy because of my mood swings. See, it's complicated.

What's the use? If I said to anybody or anyone, 'why am I feeling depressed?', people should just walk up and said, 'well...maybe it's because you're not satisfied by sorts'. Stuff like that didn't happen back then. I sighed desperately at the thought.

I'm hopeless....why do I have to make things right? My mood changes quickly 24/7, weeks, months...day after day, night after night...I feel that I'm not in the mood and drained out of energy. In a time like this relived the excruciating pain whenever I get really stressed and very tired.

I'm as limp as a ragdoll and weak as a stick in the mud. I'm just too sad to enjoy some fun activities. Why don't I want to spend with somewhere else? None of the above. I wasted my whole life on that and I'm all out of money, for fishpaste crap! 💰💰 😠😠

Why I hate holidays so much? Because I get alone and have no friends. They avoid me like I was a complete nobody. Everybody except me. Do I look really different? I'm in a bit of an emotional rollercoaster when I have to adjust. I don't like what this is going.

They all think I'm sort of special or was I a gifted person? It was nothing more than a wreck. Memories started to swirl inside my head as my eyes watered, forming into a fountain of tears. The emotions I've ever felt is like I have a mental breakdown for sure.

What's the point? Throughout the whole time I've encountered, I hide my face like a mask that nobody will notice or see the expressions I've felt. No one has ever shown me some sympathy or pity. Ugh, good grief...

For instance, I wish I could find my only true happiness somehow....no matter what. I'll find a way to be happy. I know I will...I hope. If only I had a guardian angel who wants to comfort me when my life gets rough and so complicated. That would at least cheer me up. I want to see for myself.

I laid down on the bed, softly cuddle under the blankets like a cocoon as I looked around every corner of my bedroom. I stared at the ceiling or the windows for about 5-6 minutes. Just thinking about what my peaceful life be like. Or was it just in my imagination?

'Think of a happy place....I'm in a very beautiful paradise with no pain, no scars or wounds...but filled with tears of joy and never-ending fun. A place where I can see in my own eyes. Please, take me away...', I begged and prayed in my train of thought.

I was wondering; could my wish will come true? I probably think so...but I'm afraid it can't be done. It never change to the way it used to be. I sighed heavily in desperation. I still can relived those days deep in my memories.

I toss and turn around before looking up in the sky and saw birds flying. If only I can be as free as a bird, I want to spread my little wings and explore the world, to find a better place to keep me safe....like an adventure. My emotional journey. 😔😔