Firstly Happy birthday to my first ever follower Saraaaiz
Have an awesome birthday and a great year ahead... 🎉
May this year brings lot of happiness and joy in your life.... ❤️
Love you all... ❤️
YN pov
Next day, Jungkook moved out without even talking to me. He didn't even bother to acknowledge my presence. It was as if I never existed in his life. Looks like he made his decision. I was such a fool thinking that he loved me but I guess he never did. All that matters to him is his image.
Another day passed without him in the house. Other members didn't even talk about him or may be they didn't do it in front of me. It felt as if he never lived in this house. All those beautiful moments with him in the house were haunting me now.
During the third day, I limited my contact with other members. I barely went out of my room. Jin Oppa, Suga Hyung, Jimin, Tae, RM, Hobi regularly came to check up on me making some excuses. They weren't saying anything directly but I know they were pitying me.
I was trying everything to get distracted from him but he always managed to be the first and the last thing in my mind. Even at work, I tried everything to not spare a glance at him but I always ended up looking at him for minutes, I don't even know how long. But he would pretend as if he never knew me.
Four days passed, he was living his life normally and here I was dying inside bit by bit. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him out of my mind. I didn't try to reach him because it would be killing my self respect with my own hands.
He was smiling, laughing, singing, practising his dance as if nothing happened in his life. As if I was the only one who was so in love. As if it was all a dream and the reality hit me so hard that it took my happiness away.
Even in an interview on the fourth day, when he was asked about my relation with him he would deny it so flawlessly that it was difficult to guess if he was lying. May be he wasn't lying. May be he realised that he actually never loved me. And this thought always managed to break my heart.
Jungkook became closer to Jess in just four days. They started hanging out with each other even after work hours. People were loving to see them together. Jungkook was looking happier than usual. If he was acting, then I must say he is a wonderful actor but if he was really happy, I don't know what to feel anymore.
For these four days, I would prepare myself for the long battle of the day. The battle between my heart and my brain. Every day living here was becoming a burden. Seeing him with someone else was killing me. Knowing that I was not the reason behind his smile was taking away my smile. Every night I would cry myself to sleep.
Hatred on the social media, death threats didn't bother to calm down. I almost got attacked by people few times but either any of the members or the staff was there to protect me.
On the fifth day, Taehyung and I were returning back from a commercial shoot. I was getting in the vehicle, when a saseng fan threw ink on me and shouted, "You don't deserve to live. Why don't you just die?"
I didn't say anything as even I was feeling the same. I didn't even cry. I didn't feel sad because of the choice of her words. It was as if it doesn't matter anymore.
She walked ahead of us. I turned around only to find Taehyung getting down from the vehicle. He started making his way towards the girl. I started running behind him as I didn't want him to interfere in this matter but he was too fast to be reached.
"Don't you think its bad throwing ink at people?" said Taehyung in an angry tone.
"Huh?" the girl was shocked to witness Taehyung in front of her.
"I understand what you are feeling right now. What she did is wrong from your perspective. But do you think what you did is right? Jungkook already made it clear that there is nothing romantic between them. Then don't you think you should give them a chance?" he stated.
The girl remained silent. She looked at me and back at Taehyung and murmured "But she did wrong. Why was she hugging Jungkook Oppa when she was already in relationship with you?"
"Did I confirm that she was with me? Stop believing all these rumors. Please understand we are humans too. Being idol doesn't make us impeccable. Sometimes we do things without even thinking about their consequences. But because of your reactions, it becomes difficult for us to live a normal life." he said.
The girl said sorry now looking towards me.
"You should be. I am not saying all these words to make you feel guilty but please understand and try to avoid doing such things to any idol or people related to them. Please respect our personal space. Do not mix up our private life with our professional. If you continue doing these kind of things, your idol may shut himself from the whole world or may be he will quit his career." he stated.
The girl looked at him with wide eyes.
" Yes. Can you live happily knowing that Jungkook quit his career because of things like this? Will you be happy knowing you are even responsible in this?" he asked in a louder voice.
The girl came towards me making me step back. She caught my hand and started begging me to forgive her. She said that she would not believe in any kind of rumors in the future and only believe if BigHit or the idols issue any statement regarding it.
There were many people recording this scene on the road. Taehyung caught my hand and took me towards the car. Tears started flowing from my eyes and these were the tears of happiness. I couldn't even utter a word because my throat felt so heavy. When we reached the home, I caught Tae's hand and thanked him.
What Taehyung did today made me realise how wrong I was in wasting my tears on the man who didn't even bother to know if I was alive or not. And that's when I decided to kill all the feelings that I had for him.
I thought it's better to become numb to all the feelings. Five days passed and I learnt to avoid Jungkook completely. I started minding my own work but I couldn't get over him as my heart wanted what it wanted.
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The bed's getting cold and you're not here.... The future that we hold is so unclear...... But I'm not alive until you call.... and I'll bet the odds against it all....
Save your advice 'coz I won't hear.... You might be right but I don't care.... There's a million reasons why I should give you up..... But the Heart wants what it wants....💜
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Song: The heart wants what it wants By Selena Gomez
