Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 1

I wake to my god awful phone alarm. I grab my phone and shut the alarm off. I look at the time and groan as it is 8.30 am. I shut my eyes wondering how the hell I got here. College wasn't exactly what I envisioned. I've been in this god awful place for a month give or take and I've hated every sober moment well and drunk moment. My room is small, it houses a double bed that I insisted it had. White walls although I hate it, I'm not allowed to change it. A desk that I never use and chest drawers. My parents sent me to Duke's university as they couldn't control me. Party after party, guys after guys. Only the numbness of alcohol helped with the pain.
It was the last straw for my parents when I caused a fire at our family home, it was an accident. Nothing was badly damaged and Tyler put the fire out before anything happened. I remember the heat of the fire and I hear my laughter as I add more vodka to the flames. The pounding of the music filling my ears and the drunken mess of people around us.
I threw parties whenever I could. My parents hated it but there was nothing they could do. Even being arrested for shop lifting did nothing to straighten me out. My Dad let me stew in jail before he came to bail me out. He's one of the best lawyers in the state I knew he would come get me but he had to be a dick and make me wait. Sobering up in a police cell is fucking hell!
I drag myself out of bed and unlock my door and walk down the hall to the bathroom. "Blake! Fucking legend." Nathan high fives me as I'm passing him. Nathan is very muscley, in the rugby team bleach blonde hair and green eyes. I need coffee, hell. After last nights events I need gallons of it. Tristan and I were challenged to see who could chug the beer down upside down the quickest. I won but he has demanded a rematch.
I lock the door when I get inside the bathroom. I turn on the shower and I step in, urgh it's cold. My skin reacts and goosebumps appear. I turn the temperature dial up and the water starts to heat my skin. I keep going until it starts to burn my skin, that's more like it. The bathroom starts to steam up instantly.
I wash my hair with my strawberry scented shampoo. I love the smell of strawberries. I use my strawberry body wash to scrub my body. Hell, I can never truly feel clean no matter how much I scrub. After ten minutes of scrubbing I get out the shower and wrap myself in my towel. Although this is a community shower, people know to leave my stuff alone.
I exit the bathroom in my towel after I brush my teeth and Jesse is waiting for the bathroom leaning up against the wall. When he looks up his eyes rake my body. I'm hot but I don't flaunt it, I'm not like the slutty girls who wear scrap material and flaunt their curves and throw themselves at guys. That's not my thing.
"Blake, fuck. . ." I raise my eyebrows in response. They all call me by my last night and I like it, it's less. . . personal. He licks his bottom lip, "If I knew it was you in there I would have joined you." He comes towards me and he uses his body to crash me into the wall. His body pins me against the wall and his hands are flat against the wall either side of my head.
"Not now, Jesse. Too early for this shit and I'm hanging." I hate waking each morning with a thumping headache but I've grown used to it. Jesse ignores me and leans his head down and tugs my bottom lip with teeth.
"I like you better intoxicated."
"Me too." I prefer to be numb. I'm more fun when I have alcohol seering through my veins. Clouding my brain, numbing the hole in my chest. His lips claim mine and I wrap my arms around him feeling each muscle move on his back. He cups my ass and pulls me against his body.
"Fucking hell." Tyler groans. "Sis you have five minutes to get ready." Jesse doesn't break the kiss but I've grown bored. "Jesse put down my sister before I beat your skinny little ass." Jesse isn't skinny but he's rather tall so I guess he looks lanky. His dark brown hair, brown eyes, square jaw are all something to be admired. Jesse is one of the popular guys in this frat house and all girls swoon over him. It doesn't bother me that he's a player, I feel nothing.
I am a walking disaster, traipsing the halls like a zombie. Jesse releases me, they know Tyler's threats are real. I know they are real but I wouldn't care if he beat his ass. I look at Tyler and he's cringing. I turn on my heels back to my room and Jesse slaps my ass. I glance back at him and grin. I like the attention, I like to feel wanted but nothing feels the empty hole inside of me.
Just as I go to close my door I hear Tyler, "I've warned you before man. Leave my sister alone, she doesn't need any more bad influences."
I close the door not wanting to hear Jesse's reply. I get dressed putting on some tight skinny black jeans and a black biker type top. It reveals my boobs, it's adjustable with string but I like this top so I keep it open. Not like you can see my bra or anything. I brush my hair and re apply my makeup.
I put on my leather jacket and boots just as I hear Tyler pounding on my door. Fucking impatient shit. I grab my bag and toss it over my shoulder. I grab my phone before I open the door before he breaks it down. I lock my door behind me and push the key over my wrist.
I roll my eyes when he glares at me. "I miss the days when you were sweet and innocent and used to follow me around like a puppy."
"Please, no one misses that pathetic bitch." I start walking down the hall to the car. My brother is kinda handsome in his own way. Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, medium build 6ft 2. I think thats why people cower away from him because of his height and his build. He's a pretty decent guy and everyone loves him.
"I do. I hate what you've become. I hate what J--"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence." I growl cutting him off. We reach the car park and Tyler gets his phone out. He types on the screen for a few seconds and he looks up behind me. I turn around and roll my eyes. Flynn fucking Archer, my brothers best friend.
I lean against Tyler's car in frustration. Black hair, black eyes or at least that's how they seem. He bloody irritates me with his I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. He's myserious in a dark and dangerous type of way. I watch him as he walks towards us, black jeans, black top that clings to his body. I bite my lip, I would never go there but I can see the attraction. Fuck it all, I groan and look away. Not interested. . .
"Buddy, sorry, my sister took fucking ages to get ready," Tyler says glancing at me when Flynn reaches us. They fist pump and I whack Tyler on the back of his head. "Ow, fucking hell." Tyler holds the back of his head.
"I guess it takes a long time to look half decent." Flynn grins at me. Litte fucking shit, "Joking, Jesus. Calm down, you're too uptight." I continue to glare at him. We hardly talk to each other but when we do we don't exactly play nice. I move off the car as Tyler unlocks it, I pull the door open to the front and Flynn slides in.
"Flynn!" I yell. I punch him repeatdly the best I can from this angle but he holds his forearm up to block me.
"Tyler tell your sister to stop poking me," he says whilst laughing. I scream at him and call him every name under the sun. "Very lady like you are."
"Fuck you!"
"No thanks."
"Riley just get in the frickin car before I leave you here." I groan and move away from Flynn and slam the door. I hear Flynn mutter something but I didn't catch it. I think about getting in the back seat but I'm too angry. I walk to the bonnet and I pull myself onto it. The metal feels cold against my hands and legs. It's October so it's starting to get cold, I'm thankful it's dry.
Tyler honks the horn but I continue to sit on the bonnet. I don't necessarily want to sit in the front, I'm just making a point. "Blake!" Matty calls to me walking passed the car. He blows a kiss to me and I smile sweetly at him.
I hear the car door open, "Get in the fucking car, Riley!" Tyler growls keeping his voice down. He hates it when I make a huge scene it damages his rep. "Riley!" I continue to ignore him. Looking up at the cloudy grey sky, I'm thankful the rain is holding off at the moment.
"Pick her up and lob her in the car," I hear Flynn say. I roll my eyes, he's a pain in my ass. I see Jesse walk to his car and I wave.
"Fine, I will buy you dinner tonight and get you an endless supply of alcohol for the rest of the week." I grin and jump off the bonnet with a spring. I walk with victory to the back seat. I see Tyler sigh with relief as he slides back into the driver's seat.
"Has she always been this annoying?"
"No, actually she hasn't." Tyler says as he starts the car and looks at me in the rear view mirror with pain in his blue eyes. I stick my tongue out at him and he pulls out of the parking space.
"What happened, did your dog die or something?"
"Don't," Tyler quickly says.
"Did it?" Flynn says with amusement written all over his face.
"No. Just drop it will you?" Tyler warns.
"I want to know what happened to make her so annoying." Flynn turns to face me and I glare at him. I see Tyler glance at me with a worried look on his face. I roll my eyes.
"Pull over, Tyler," I growl.
"Calm down, Riley. We are nearly there."
"Pull over, or I'll exit this vehicle, right.fucking.now." He pulls over to the side of the road because he knows that I mean my threats just like he does. I open my door and Flynn looks to me and then to Tyler confused.
"Is she serious? It was just a question." I get out the car and slam the door and storm off towards the campus. Fucking Flynn Archer, never liked him, never will. No amount of good looks can change that. I see Tyler drive off passed me. I never used to be so hot headed. I used to be a goodie two shoes. I used to be the golden child of the family. Never in trouble. . . innocent. That's what I was.
When I get to my first class sociology it's already started. I find a seat at the back of the class. I didn't even get chance to get a bloody coffee. I rest my head in my hands as I lean on the desk. I hate my parents for making me attend college. I didn't really have a fucking clue what I even wanted to study. When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer like my father. I idolised my parents but since that dreaded day nothing has been the same.
On a whim I opted for Criminology, I have no idea why. There are many careers that I could get but I guess it was one of the only things that stood out to me. As I sit and listen, I've always been curious about human behaviours. I was always bad at reading people, I guess that's why I got into the situtation I did. I have learned from my previous mistakes. I don't let people fool me, not anymore. Trust was my downfall, now I trust no one. Not my parents, not even Tyler.
It's safer that way, to protect myself, although I feel dead like this, fucking dead. I'm not really living but it's all I can do. Party, drink, boys, no commitment that's my life now. No distractions, no friends, no pressure just. . . hell just hell. This is what this is, it's hell.
Once class has finished I get up and head to the cafe just round the corner from this building. I reach the cafe just as it starts to rain. It's miserable rain just like my life. I join the queue as I catch a glance of Nathan. "Blake. . ." he calls to me. He leaves his table of three girls and a guy. I don't know the rest of them.
He joins me in the queue, "So I was thinking, before the party tonight, you'll accompany me to dinner."
"Nope," I say popping the p. He grins at me like he knew my answer.
"One of these days you'll agree."
"Not likely."
"Come on, you're fun. I want to take you on a real date. Not just when you let me fuck you. I want to talk to you, have fun before I take you to bed the next time and then you flee the scene." I roll my eyes. I give the lady my order before turning my attention back to Nathan.
"I don't date. I thought guys dig that, no clinging annoying girls. Sex with no strings attached." He's always so perky. I look over at his table and they are all watching us.
"Well, yeah but. . ."
"I'm sure the blonde over there with the killer stare would love a date with you." I roll my eyes again as I swipe my credit card.
"I guess I'll see you later then?" I nod and he leaves me waiting for my coffee. Once I take my coffee I leave the cafe and I walk to my next class. Once I'm out of the rain I sit in the hallway outside my next class. It's too early for me to walk in even though people have started going in. I look at my phone and see I have ten minutes to wait.
I open the text message from my mother.
Mother- Honey, please call. We miss you. x
I delete the message. I haven't spoken to them since I started college. I don't miss them, I'm still fucked off that I have to be here. They didn't give me a choice. I was close to my parents before. Mother and I never kept secrets from one another. Now, I bottle my secrets up. I distance myself from everyone.
I sip my coffee and it tastes amazing. I survive on vodka and coffee. I don't mind being alone, I used to hate it. I don't feel awkward or embarrassed. I look at my phone again and I groan. "You know you're late right?" I look up to see Flynn. I roll my eyes.
"I like being late."
"Me too." When I really look at it we are so similar, he dresses all in black like me. He has the I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude too. He holds his hand out to me to help me off the floor but I don't take it. I push myself off the wall and I walk into class holding my coffee. When I sit at the back Flynn sits next to me. I roll my eyes again.
I place my coffee on the desk and I lean back into the chair. "Your brother is looking for you." I'm not hard to find.
"Yeah. Good for him."
"Your parents are trying to contact you or some shit. Have you been naughty?" he picks up my coffee and takes a mouthful before I can stop him.
"Do you mind?"
"No, so have you?"
"No, well not that I know of. Unless they found my secret weed stash which I doubt it." He laughs at me and I elbow him. He puts my coffee back on my desk.
"You? On weed? You really aren't innocent are you?"
"No, why don't you believe me?"
"Don't know, I feel like you're pretending to be someone your not." I scoff at his judgement. He doesn't know me.
"Why do you think that?" It annoys me how he is judging me like this. He met me a month ago, we don't talk. . . much and I made Tyler promise he wouldn't spread shit about me.
He shrugs, "Dunno really. I've seen you at parties, you love the attention. Yet you keep to yourself, you're confident in yourself but there's something I can't put my finger on."
"Don't think you know me because you've been watching me. You will never know me," I take a drink from my coffee and I get a faint taste of mint. Fucking ruined my coffee now. If I wanted fucking minty coffee I would have asked for it. "You may be my brothers best friend but you aren't shit to me."
"Fuck Riley, why are you so up tight all the time? It must be exhausting." I roll my eyes. I grab my bag and rummage through it and grab the bottle. I unscrew the cap and pour vodka into my coffee. Coffee, vodka and mint must be better that minty coffee. I place the bottle back in my bag and Flynn frowns at me. I sip my coffee, that hits the spot. "Do you even sober up?"
I shrug, "If you call 3 hours of sleeping sobering up, sure. Other than that nope." Not that it's any of his business.
"Why do you drink so much?"
"Why are you being so nosy today?"
"Curious. . . "
"Well, don't be." I don't even bother listening to the professor.
"Come on Riley, give me something here. We need to get on for Tyler's sake."
"No we don't. I'm more than capable of walking away and not speaking to Tyler again. I don't need him, it's him that bothers me."
"He said you weren't always like this. What did you used to be like? It's hard to imagine you as someone else. Humour me." I roll my eyes and take another mouthful of coffee.
"I used to be an innocent fucking girl. Who used to cry when she was on her own scared of the loneliness and darkness. She was a bloody naive bitch." Why did I tell him that?
"You have a negative opinion of yourself."
"What about you huh? Why are you at uni?"
"None of your business."
"Not nice is it?" I finish my coffee and I throw the cup on the floor. When the bell goes I walk over to my favourite eating place on campus. I find an empty table and I order from my phone so I don't need to talk to anyone. When my pepsi arrives I sneakily tip my vodka in. I feel eyes on me and sure enough when I look up at the other end of the room is Flynn watching me.
I roll my eyes and see he's with Jesse, Tyler and a few others. Why is he staring at me? I sip my drink and I get out my diary. I keep a diary, not because I have to or anything. I just need to tell someone about my thoughts. I tell her about my day, how I'm feeling, what I want in life. She's my friend, I may be insane but at least she can't judge or answer back.
I draw the piercing black eyes that are staring at me. They are so dangerous I see them when I shut my eyes. Flynn fucking Archer's black eyes. Not many words have been thrown at each other but his eyes haunt me. My food arrives and I realise I've somehow wrote his name under his eyes over and over. Fuck my life.
I slam the book shut. I pick up the burger and shove as much as I can in my mouth. I'm not lady like and I never claim to be. "Riley." Eye rolling seems to be my response to everything.
"What do you want Tyler?" I say with my mouthful, he sits down next to me. I take a sip of my drink to wash the food down.
"Mom rang me. She wants to know if you are bringing a friend to stay when we go there for half term."
"No frickin way am I going home."
"I thought you'd be keen to go back home, you always complain that you are forced to be here."
"I'm not going home Tyler. Fuck, I hate it there. I hate it here. At least there are parties, boys and alcohol here."
"When did you stop caring about family?"
"Stop judging me, Tyler. I fucking died that day, or at least that's when the Riley you all loved did. I'm not going!" I yell. I stand up and leave him at my table. I catch the black eyes in my direction when I leave. Bloody judging black eyes.