Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 43

Mom and Dad are making their own way there. Tyler is taking the rest of us in his car. I have a bag packed with towels but we do need to swing by the store to get swimming costumes because I don't have one here and I never got Miley one either. Even bloody Ariel wants to come. We need to swing by the dorms to get her stuff. 
     We get to the car and I get Miley into her seat. It's fucking raining again! I hate the winter. I climb over Miley and sit in the middle seat. Flynn suprisingly gets in the back with me and Ariel is left speechless. She was probably hoping I'd sit in the front. I clip my seatbelt in and I start to shake. Why did it have to rain? 
    Flynn rests his hand on my leg and it eases me somewhat. "Ty, drive slow. Please," I beg and he looks back to me and nods. He's always be so good at looking after me which is why I don't understand his alieness toward Miley. I block out the drive to supermarket. 
    "Hurry up sis," Tyler says when I don't acknowledge our arrival. I undo Miley's seatbelt and mine and I climb over her to get out. Flynn opens his door, "Where are you going?" Tyler says to Flynn. 
   "Well it will be quicker if I help her. I don't want her carrying anything with her wrist and she will most likely have to carry Miley anyway." Tyler thinks it over and nods. I lift Miley out the car and Flynn gets out. 
    We walk towards the shop and once we are inside Flynn wraps his arm around my waist. We head to the clothing section. I go to the ladies outfits first I scan the outfits and grab a plain black full piece swimsuit. Flynn grabs it and puts it back on the shelf. The hell? "You aren't wearing that hideous thing." Flynn browses them and then opts for an American flag bikini. The bottoms are a pale royal blue with white stars. And the top has a bow in the middle with red and white strips on the under straps to the fastening at the back. The cups itself is the same as the bottoms. The blue with the white stars. "This one."
    I roll my eyes. "Flynn it's more revealing than the other one at home. I'd be more comfortable in a black full piece." 
   "Come on, you're going to look hot. Besides, I told you before that black does nothing for you. Please, baby." I sigh and walk to the kids section. He kisses my temple as we walk and then places his arm around me again. 
    I look at the kids swimsuits, "Honey, which one do you want?" She looks at them each in turn. I find all kids clothes look cute. 
    "That one please Angel," she points and a pink cartoon unicorn one with a pink tutu and silver straps. It's cute I look for her size and pick it up but Flynn takes it from me. He takes my free hand and walk to the tills. Flynn pays for them even though I was going to pay but I know he's feeling railroaded about the money situation so I thank him and let it slide. 
    Flynn releases me when we get outside and we head to the car. Once we are all in the car we set off to the dorms. I'm not entirely sure why Ariel has to come and I'm not sure why he even decided to explain things to her. She's a cover, nothing more. Why is he justifying his action to her? If I had a meaningless other in my life I would have just let them walk out on me. I wouldn't explain my business to them but I guess that's just me. 
    We pull up at the dorms and Flynn gets out the car to help Ariel. I guess he's just a gentleman like that. Or keeping up the show which ever. We wait in silence until they return. Once they return I take a huge gulp of air with Flynn's scent and I calm slightly. 
    When we arrive at the local leisure centre we find Mom and Dad in the car park. Flynn carries my bag whilst Miley clings to me. Dad walks to the desk, "Six adults and one child for swimming please. Honey, did you want to get any armbands for her?" 
    "Have you been swimming before baby?" She shakes her head. "Do you want armbands to help you float?" She shakes her head. 
    "Angel will save me." I smile, I won't let anything happen to her. I shake my head to Dad and he nods. We walk into the changing area and I frown. It's masking his scent again, I've had his scent around me for the past couple of days and now it's fading. Flynn hands me my bag and the swimsuits. 
    Ariel drags Flynn into the next door cubicle and I want to gag. I walk into the cubicle and set Miley on her feet. She undresses and I help her into her swimsuit. She sits and waits for me to get ready. I turn my back on her just because I'm not that confident with my body yet. I sigh at the bold bikni and turn around to face Miley. I pull off my wrist brace. I hear them next door loudly kissing and my mood fades. If Miley wasn't here I would be freaking out. 
    "What is that?" Miley asks and touches my scar on my stomach. Man, I should have denied Flynn this outfit so I could hide my scar. I step back and grab her hand softening the blow. 
    "I was in a car accident like you, baby, except I was hurt badly. I healed but I still have a scar to show it." The kissing stops next door and I can only imagine Flynn is listening to our conversation. 
     "How bad?" she almost cries. I sit next to her and stroke her hair. I tie her hair back whilst I'm there. 
    "It's okay, baby. The doctors fixed me. I just can't have any babies of my own." She looks really sad. 
    "So I can't have any brothers or sisters?" 
    "You have Flynn sweetheart." I'm not sure what she's getting at. 
    "It's not the same," she sighs. "I thought you and Flynn would have a baby one day. And I would have and baby brother or sister." I hear a gasp from next door but it sounds more like Ariel. 
    A tear escapes my eye and I sniff trying to disguise it. I hate to cry in front of her, I should be strong. "Ri, open the door." I get up and open the door and wipe my eye. He frowns at me and comes in and lock the door. He wipes my cheeks dry even though I tried. He kisses my cheek continuously and it makes me giggle. 
   He pulls me to him comforting me. He must have heard the conversation. He releases me and turns to face Miley. "Are you ready to go swimming, Smiley?" 
    "No, Angel said I won't ever have a brother or sister. I wanted Angel to have a baby because I'm lonely." I cling to Flynn's arm and he holds my hand to settle me. 
    "Hey, Angel is being a bit negative. The doctor's didn't say it was a definite thing only unlikely. Angel is pretty unique don't you think? If anyone can do it it's her, right? And if not she can always adopt." 
    Miley frowns and thinks it over and then she smiles, "Angel will work miracles." Miley agrees and I shed another tear. He's always giving her false hope. I know I can't have kids and would I really adopt? No, I don't think I would not on my own at least.
    Flynn leans into my ear and whispers, "I was right, you look fucking hot." I squirm and I'm all hot and bothered. He smirks and steps away from me. Miley holds her hand out to us and she holds our hands between us and we exit the cubicle. I place the items in the locker and Tyler comes from no where and places his stuff with ours. He pops in a coin and then passes me the key. I don't know why he won't wear it. 
    I let go of Miley's hand for a second and bend down to wrap the key around my ankle. I feel Flynn's eyes burning me. I stand up and take her hand again. We join Mom, Dad and Ariel by the showers. I pull Miley with me under the shower and she squeals. We head to the main pool area and Miley stops at the edge of the pool. 
    "What's wrong baby?" I look at her and she shakes her head. I kneel down in front of her and she looks terrified. "Honey," she continues to shake her head. 
     "Angel, it's scary," I let go of her hand and stand up. I walk into the water backwards as she holds Flynn's hand. I lower myself into the water once I'm deep enough and then I throw my head back and float in the water. "Angel," she gasps. 
   I slowly stand back up again and walk towards her, "It's just like a giant bath baby. Have I ever let you down before?" She shakes her head, "Then trust me, I won't let anything happen to you." She nods and holds her hand out to me. I take her hand and lead her into the water slowly. She grips my hand really tight. 
    When she gets waist deep she stops and pulls her hand away from mine. She holds her hand up to me as if she wants to be carried.  I lift her up and Flynn brings his lips to my ear, "Fucking tease," he whispers in my ear and I giggle. I didn't tease on purpose, "You need to wear that for me later." 
    He pulls away and I walk deeper into the water and she clings tighter to me. I walk until I'm chest deep and I stop walking. "Honey, lie flat, I've got you." She does as I say and I hold her back and head. "Just stay perfectly still, okay honey?" 
    "Yes, Angel," she confirms and I slowly withdraw my hands. She floats in the water and I smile down at her. 
    "You're floating baby, all on your own," she panics and I hold underneath her again. "I won't let you fall." I move her onto her stomach. "Kick your legs honey," she does as I say but I keep hold of her so she does't go anywhere. "Okay that's good. Now use your hands and arms to move the water out the way." Flynn shows her how and she copies him. "Now do them both together baby, swim towards Flynn." She starts to swim and I slowly let go of her so she doesn't notice. 
    She splashes a lot but she starts to move in the water. Flynn isn't that far away so she reaches him in a short moment. He brings her into his arms and I clap and she giggles clinging to Flynn. I walk towards them and put my arm around Miley and Flynn puts his arm around me. 
   I block everything else out around us. It's just us three in the pool, no noise around us only our breathing, our voices and our love for each other. Flynn rest his forehead and nose on my cheek and I smile. Nothing is more perfect than this moment right here. I don't think I could love them anymore than I do right now. My heart is literally swelling out my chest with the amount of love I feel. 
   No words need to be said between us but we can all feel it. The undeniable love and connection between us all. "Miley, do you want to go to the cannons with Flynn and me?" Ariel asks. She clings to Flynn but she doesn't decline so Flynn takes her to the water cannons. I watch as Ariel wants to steal Miley from me too. I walk backwards until my back is against the wall as I watch them from a distant. My heart aches for them when we are apart. 
   It feels like a part of myself is being ripped from my body. "Sis," Tyler says and I look at him and then look back at Flynn and Miley. "I. . ." I look at him again to see why he's delaying. He looks awkward but I look back to Flynn and Miley again. "Did you mean what you said? That you'll never forgive me for protecting you?" 
   I sigh, "I'm old enough and ugly enough to make my own mistakes but Flynn isn't a mistake. So yes, I love you but I'll never forgive you for this." 
   "You don't know everything, you don't know why I'm keeping you from him." I glance at him again. 
   "It doesn't matter, look at him." I point to Flynn, "Does he look dangerous to you? He told me, Ty. He told me that he killed someone. I can't ever believe he did it intentionally, that doesn't make him a bad person. I've killed someone, does that make me bad?" 
   "No you aren't bad, it's completely different, Lee. Did he tell you about his girlfriend at the time?" I frown at him, "I guess not, she got in the way. Trying to stop him, he hurt her badly. Not intentionally but in his sheer anger he didn't know what he was doing." 
   "He would never hurt me," I defend him. 
   "He said he'd never hurt a girl and he did. He blacks out, Lee, he wouldn't mean to but he could hurt you in the crossfire and he's more protective over you. The fights he got into after he left you. . ." he shudders and I look back at carefree happy Flynn. 
   "I changed him, I heal him as much he heals me. Could you see him doing this before me?" I look back at Tyler and he's deep in thought. 
    "No, I couldn't but doesn't mean he would have adapted." I watch as Flynn squirts Miley with the cannon and she giggles. Ariel jumps on Flynn's back and they laugh together. A tear escapes my eye. That should be me, that should be me with Flynn and my. . . with Miley. This is all fucked up. "Sis, don't," he warns when he sees my tears.
   "Do you not care how much this hurts me?" I wipe my eyes. "If it wasn't for Miley I'd be long gone. I'd be pissing it up somewhere to drown the pain. I don't want to go too far away in fear she will zone out. I want her to be a normal child and interact with her brother. Except, here I am hurting watching them altogether." 
   "Sis, it's better this way," he urges. 
   "Better for who?" 
   "You, everyone." He confirms. 
   "No, I don't believe that. I think it's better for you because I hurt more when I'm apart from Flynn. Only you are happy when we are apart," I hate this. Miley is now in Flynn's arms and Ariel is still clinging to Flynn's back. Flynn holds Ariel's leg with one hand and the other arm he holds Miley. 
   "James damaged you, you don't see clearly." I wince at his name.  
   "You're right! He did damage me, which is how I know the right person when they come along. Flynn treats me how I need to be treated. Not how he did, not play on my emotions and my guilt. Perhaps I should find another James who pins me down and muffles my screams as  I call for help but nobody comes to save me. Only then you'll approve." 
   "Sis, no. I. . . no. If I knew I'd never have approved. How could you think that? I'd kill him if he was alive." 
   "But you resent Flynn for killing someone by accident? I wish you'd see things the way I do because I feel like I'm losing you. I love you so much but I really hate you!" I'm so pissed off. I push passed him with tears freefalling. I hope Miley doesn't notice my absence. I sob as I make my way to the bathroom. I just need a minute, I need to get my head straight before I see Miley again. 
   Sometimes I think it would be easier if I wasn't here anymore but Miley needs me. I lock the door behind me and the tears come stronger. I always thought I was broken when I couldn't cry but I wish I still couldn't cry. I should be strong, this isn't good for anyone. I continue to cry it out for another five or ten minutes andthen I decide to suck it up. 
   I can't be weak, I need to be strong for her. I wipe my eyes and take a deepbreath, I exit the bathroom and I'm instantly burnt with his eyes. I scan the pool until my eyes lock with his. I wipe my eyes and nose once more to hide the evidence. 
    I walk back into the pool and Flynn walks towards me with Miley in his arms. She's looking agitated but she hasn't zoned out which is an improvement. We meet in the middle of the pool, "Angel," she cries and I take her into my arms and bury my face in her neck. She clings to me and Flynn brings me closer to his body. 
    "What's wrong? I saw you talking to Tyler and then I saw you walking off," he whispers in my ear. 
   "I love him so much but I actually really hate him. I hate being apart from you guys but he doesn't care about the pain it causes me. He wants me to be with another James, I guess it's inevitable." 
   "Don't say that to me. You are mine, I'll kill any fucker that touches you," he whispers in my ear. "Don't let him get to you, he obviously hasn't found his soulmate so he doesn't know how it feels to be apart from them." Flynn rests his face in my neck and we are one again. It's us against the world. 
   We spend the next couple of hours at the pool. We teach Miley how to swim and to be comfortable in the water without being held. Once we all had enough we let Miley play in the soft play in the building and we all had an early dinner in the cafe next to the soft play. The time is drawing to an end and I'm dreading it. How will I ever find the courage to say goodbye to her?