Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 32

When I wake I'm curled around Flynn's sleeping body and his arms are wrapped around me. I feel really warm but I don't move. "Bro," Tyler whispers. "Flynn," he whispers again.
"What?" Flynn mumbles trying to push the noise away with his hand. He's so cute when he's sleepy.
"Wake up! Last night was a one-off, I don't intend to cease our deal today. You need to get up and leave her to sleep."
"Shh! I'm tired. Go away," Flynn grumbles. Flynn tries to roll over but my weight stops him. He pats my body. "Oh," he says surprised.
"Yeah, oh. Now get up before I kick your ass." Flynn mutters to himself and I clutch tighter to his body. He gently prizes my hands away from his jumper and he lets my hands and body slowly fall as he slips out of bed.
"No," I groan but no one responds to me. I lay on my stomach and groan into the pillow Flynn laid on. I somehow fall asleep again until I'm woken by knocking on the front door. I grumble and get out of bed. I drag my feet to the annoying door. I yawn as I open the door.
"Hey Honey," I yawn again and stretch. "Did we wake you up?" I shrug. I move out the way so my parents can walk in. "I thought you'd be awake by midday."
"Midday?" I shriek.
"Yes, we are having a meal around Tyler's. You're coming right? I'll cook you something nice, Mac n cheese? You like that."
"Sure Mom, I guess so."
"What's wrong?"
"Flynn will be there and his girlfriend." I shift awkwardly on my feet. Mom's mouth drops open but she quickly recovers herself.
"Oh, I didn't realise."
"It's okay, the red head isn't too bad, it's the blonde."
"He has two girlfriends?" I want to laugh but it hurts enough that he has one.
"No, Tyler's girlfriend. She looks like a barbie doll and she acts like one too. Not a lot going on upstairs." Dad laughs but Mom glares at him.
"He has a girlfriend? Maybe he will invite her for dinner," No, I groan. "Go get showered and dressed. You have make up streaks down your face. Your Dad and I will go to the store and pick you up some shopping whilst we get the bits for dinner. I worry about you here on your own. Are you eating okay?"
"Mom, I'm fine, you don't need to worry. Thank you though." I walk towards her and hug her. She's been amazing.
"Okay, we won't be long. We will drop the shopping off and then we will go over to Tyler's." I nod and release her. Dad kisses my head and they leave the apartment. I lock the door and walk to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and sure enough I have black tear lines down my cheeks. Oh christ.
I strip and get into the shower. I try to make some sense of last night but I'm still as confused as I was then. Tyler and Flynn were talking in some secret code. I touch my lips and they tingle remembering when Flynn kissed me. I'd literally do anything for him. I guess I went through life having things handed to me because my parents are rich. Flynn was something that I accomplished myself. Well, it was a lie but I don't feel he used me as James did.
If he wanted my parents wealth he would have gone through Tyler I'm sure. I turn the shower off and wrap a towel around me. I lay on the bed in my towel and my phone buzzes.
FLYNN- Are you coming over later with your parents?
ME- Don't know, laying on my bed in my towel sounds more appealing right now.
FLYNN- Hold that thought. X
I frown, what? I wait for another text but nothing comes. I hear the front door open and I freeze. Who's in my apartment now? The bedroom door opens and I sit up on my elbows. Flynn walks in wearing jeans. He's barefoot and topless and I bite my lip. "What are you doing?"
"Tyler is at the shop with your parents." He keeps his eyes on me as he makes his way to the bed. I stop breathing from the sexy look he's giving me.
"And?" I whisper.
"Well, you shouldn't have told me you were only wearing a towel." I cock my head to the side confused. He crawls onto the bed and I swallow hard. He crawls over me and unhooks the towel so the towel drops on the bed leaving me entirely naked. "I'm going to hell anyway." He mutters to himself.
"But--" I say breathlessly but he places his index finger on my lips stopping me saying anything else.
"Don't say anything, well answer me this. Do you want me as a one time thing?" I nod without hesitation and his lips slide up on the corners. "And you promise not to tell anyone," I nod again. "One time thing, Ri. It won't happen again," I nod again and he releases my lips. "Good, I want you so fucking bad."
He undoes his jeans and slides them down his legs. He's not wearing any boxers under his jeans. He crawls back over me and kisses my lips. "I want to try something different. Your backside is such a turn on. You're going to pay for all those teases last night."
He rolls over so he's sat next to me, back against the headboard. My stomach is doing back flips at the thought of his threats. I feel giddy and desperate for him to claim me once more. "Climb on me facing away from me." I do as he says eagarly. He grabs my hips and lifts me up and guides me onto him and I throw my head back. It's been too damn long. I hear the air hiss through his teeth. "Lean right forward baby. I want to see your delectable backside." As I lay forward towards his ankles I feel him deep on the back walls of my vagina.
He slaps my ass and I yelp, "That was for the knee stroking. Fuck Ri, I should never have revealed my secret about that." I start to move to create friction but he squeezes my ass so I can't move. "Oh no, not yet baby. I'm not done naming your misdemeanours."
"Flynn," I whine and he chuckles.
"Maybe you'll think twice about teasing me." He releases the pressure on my backside and he slaps me again but I'm more prepared this time. "That was for shoving your sweet ass in my face whilst you moved over my lap more than once!" I look back at him and through my eyelashes and I see his dilated eyes and his panting through his parted lips. He can turn me on by just looking at me.
He slaps me again, "That is for making me jealous of fucking Nathan. You are mine, Ri." My backside is starting to feel sore but it's not uncomfortable. He rubs my ass before he slaps me again, "Lastly, wrapping yourself around me this morning and I couldn't fuck you then." I don't really think that's my problem.
"Flynn, I'm yours just please, fuck me. I love you," he chuckles and flexes his hips and I groan, so fucking deep this way. I start to move again and he lets me this time. I relish in feeling every single inch of him, I've missed him so fucking bad.
"Yes, you are mine and don't you forget that." I still, I don't like not being able to see his face. I slide off him and turn so I can see his face. He doesn't seem annoyed or shocked that I've moved. I ease back onto him and I reach forward and grab his bottom lip with my teeth and I suck as I graze his lip.
So soft.
A grumble escapes his throat. He strokes the side of my face and hair with both hands. He looks into my eyes longingly before his lips crush mine. A groan escapes my lips giving his tongue access to mine. His piercing slides back and forth and I giggle. "What?" he asks.
"I've missed your piercing but it reminded me of when you were drunk. You had no tongue skills." I giggle again and he raises his eyebrow at me.
"No tongue skill? I'll give you tongue skills." He slides his body further down so he's flat on the bed. He grabs my hips and lifts me up and I squeal. He lowers me onto his face and I freeze. He prizes my walls open with his fingers to give his tongue better access to my pussy. "Relax," he mumbles.
"Flynn, this is wierd."
He moves his mouth slightly so he can speak, "I crave intimacy with you Ri, come on. Just relax, I want to taste you again. It was fun the first time, right?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Good, now let me eat you until you come. I want to hear you, don't hold back okay?" I look down at him and nod. He readjusts himself and starts moving his expert tongue. The metal stud swirls around and around. I grab his hair and fist my hands and he groans. In and out round and round. Holy fuck, what was that? He nibbles my clit and I call out.
"Flynn," I whine. I start moving up and down on his tongue but he grabs the top of my thighs and keeps me still. He keeps one hand on my thigh and the other he reachs up and squeezes my breast and I throw my head back pushing my boob into his hand.
He twists my nipple in his thumb and finger and I call out. I'm really fucking lost. I'm so close, the licking, nipping, the squeezing and tugging of my nipple. Pleasure is radiating around my body, I've never felt anything this intense before. Is it the time apart? His expert skills? I call out again and I explode, I can't stop spiralling. I lose my eyesight, except for the spots clouding my vision.
Flynn flips my body so I'm on my back. I can't see him but I feel his touch. He thrusts into me and I screw my eyes shut. He slides his fingers through my hands and squeezes tightly. I slowly regain eyesight and his lips are parted. "I love you," I say breathlessly. He picks up the rythym and we stay connected with our hands. It feels so much more intimate this way. His weight pressing down on my body is a relief rather than a discomfort.
His lips brush against my neck and I move my head to the side to give him better access. He sucks gently on my neck but I'm pretty sure it's soft enough not to leave any marks. My back flexes when he nibbles my skin. "Fuck me hard, Flynn. If it's the last time, I want to feel you when you're gone," I beg.
"Fuck," he picks up the rhythm thrusting harder and deeper inside me and I can't get enough. "I'm so close Ri," My hips meet his every thrust and it feels as though we are one. How am I supposed to end this? I want much more than this one time. "I need to pull out, Ri."
"No, don't." I growl squeezing his ass closer to me. He grazes my earlobe with his teeth and I groan flexing my hips again. "I want to feel you."
"You're so fucking sexy." He groans and spills into me and his pulsing sends me over the edge and I lose all my senses this time. When I come back around I'm laying on Flynn's chest and he's stroking my back. "I need to leave soon, baby. They will be back soon."
I grumble, "No, not yet," I beg. "I'm not ready to say goodbye again." I nuzzle my nose into his chest.
"I shouldn't have come in here Ri, I'm sorry. I am such a shit for using you." I look up at him, I move my legs so I'm led astride him. I stroke his hair back from his face. It's got longer and I love it.
"I like this," I smile and fist his hair. "You're hardly using me Flynn. I want this but I just don't understand you. You have that pretty redhead at your disposal, she craves your attention. She'd happily take care of your needs yet you come to me."
"I grew my hair out because you said you liked it." I smile a huge grin, "I know, Ri, everything you say is true. I don't know myself, okay? I don't want to keep hurting you."
"I think you'd hurt me more if you completely blanked me. If you truly were disgusted by me. That would hurt but I think you do care and that makes me happy. I just hate seeing you with her, that hurts because I know you could have anyone you wanted. You aren't broken like me, you can be with other people. But I can't."
"I care Ri, if nothing else you are my best friends sister. I will still look out for you, it should just be like a sister. I'm over stepping the bounderies here, Riley. We need to change the way we feel, like brother and sister."
I shake my head, "We could never be that, not after what we've been through. What we've done."
"We need to try Ri, the past is done. There's no going back to that, we will all be a lot happier this way."
"Maybe you will but I won't. How can I forget the best thing that ever happened to me? You can pretend or hell you could already feel that way because it's all a lie right? I knew what I was getting myself into. I can't just forget what we were."
"But it seems like you did," he glares at me. How can he say that? I remember every single moment of our time together. Every kiss, every touch, every word spoken. He seems so sure that I've forgotten some crucial memory.
"I forgot nothing, every detail is engrained in my head. How dare you say that I'm missing something."
He sits up suddenly and we are nose to nose both of us angry as hell in seconds. How did we get from incredible sex to arguing? "Well then if that's true then it must mean that you didn't hear me." The hell is he trying to say?
"I heard every word!" I snap.
"Well why don't you remember then?" I frown and slump my shoulders like I've been defeated. He pushes me off him and he jumps off the bed. He slides his jeans back on and he leaves the room quicker than he came leaving me speechless.
Remember what exactly? I flop out on the bed like a star fish. He said it was all a lie! He said that I was just there and he wants the redhead so why is he so angry with me? I groan and find an outfit to wear, I'm sure they will be back soon. I opt for denim shorts and a black lace crop top. This outfit reveals my stomach and a lot of my legs. Bit cold for November but I'm not planning on going outside.
I apply make up and brush my hair through after I dry it and it hangs over my shoulders and breasts. I pull on some calf length cowboy boots. I put perfume on and look in the mirror, yes this will do. Ten minutes later there's a knock at the door and I rush to open the door. Tyler pushes past me with a load of shopping, he sets it on the floor in the kitchen.
Mom and Dad enter moments later. I close the door and sit on the sofa crossed legs. "Just come over when you're ready." Tyler says, he blows me a kiss and leaves the room. I watch Mom as she unpacks my shopping.
"Do you want some help, Mom?" I call from the sofa but I already know her answer but I thought I'd be polite.
"No dear, have you taken you meds today?" Umm, did I?
"Nope," she picks up the bottle and throws them to me. I catch them and take the meds. Dad sits on the other corner of the U shaped sofa. He puts his feet on the coffee table and turns the TV on.
"You watched Teminator?" Dad asks surprised.
"Yeah, Nathan said I had to watch them. We are going to watch them all at some point." Dad nods and continues to flick through Sky. He settles with Judge Judy and I roll my eyes. Of course he would choose that. I zone them out as I stare at the wall.
"Is he for real?" Dad shouts making me jump. "You really think you aren't to blame? You imbecile." I laugh at him. "Come on Judy give it to him."
"Dad I don't know why you watch these programmes. It only annoys you," his lawyer mode is in full force right now as he's listening to all the facts.
"I just can't believe the audacity of some people. Do they think they wouldn't get caught?" I smile and start staring at the walls again.
"Aren't you going to be cold dear?" Mom says to me and I look just as blankly at her as I did the wall. I look at my outfit, it's not cold inside. "I'll go get you a cardigan to wear with it." I frown, do I even own one? She leaves the kitchen in search for something warmer even though I feel fine.
Wall staring has become second nature to me. "Here honey," she says making me jump from behind me. She places a grey knitted cardigan that I didn't even know I had on the sofa. She must have bought more clothes without me even realising. I stand up and shrug it on, it's warm and comfy. It's a bit baggy and it covers mid thigh. I don't really do grey but I draw in grey so it should be fine.
I pull the sleeve over my cast so it's fully exposed. I sit back down and bring my knees to my chest. "Shall we go then? I need to start cooking." Dad turns the TV off.
"I should have bought a better TV for Tyler if we are there all the time. I kitted your place out a lot better." he looks at me and I frown. Why would he do that? I'd let them host dinner around here if it wasn't for the redhead. I don't want her in my apartment.
Dad holds his hand out for me and he helps me to my feet. He lets my hand go once I'm up and I follow him to the door. Now where is my phone? I hunt in my bedroom for my bag. I find it on the dresser by the door. I take my phone and keys out and leave the bedroom. I exit my apartment and I lock the door behind me. Dad holds the door open for me to Tyler's apartment and once I'm in here I feel out of place.
I scan the room standing in the corner by the door. Flynn and the redhead sit on a small couch. It's the same layout as mine but the furniture is lacking. "Honey, don't stand by the door." Mom says waving me further into the room. I look at her but I now feel Flynn's eyes burning me. I awkwardly walk across the apartment to the kitchen. I pull myself up onto the counter and sit with her whilst she cooks in the kitchen.
Tyler is sat at a table with his girlfriend and I roll my eyes. Dad walks to the sofa and takes the remote off Flynn and starts flicking channels. "Hey, we were watching that," Flynn mutters although it seems odd him saying that as he's still burning me.
"Hey son, when you start paying your own bills you can choose what we watch." Dad means nothing by it but it causes me to giggle.
"Son, introduce me to your girlfriend then. Lee has said great things about her," Mom says looking at Tyler. I scoff. Hardly.
Tyler gets up from his chair and holds his hand out to the blonde and she stands and they walk towards us, "Mom this is Britney, Britney this is my Mom Abigail."
Britney squeals and I hold my ears, "She's so young and beautiful, Tyler. We are going to get on so well. Oh my what happened to your hand."
"That's a bit rude don't you think?" I growl. "Tyler, if she starts shit I'm gone."
"Riley, calm down. It's a valid question, I lost my hand in an accident, dear." Mom says casually. I push myself off the counter and push past them. I sit on the floor in the far corner by the bedroom. I stare at the wall with my knees to my chest.
I hear them all whispering about me, Is she okay? Should we bring her over here? What is she doing? I try to block the whispers out. I should never have come here. Someone sits down next to me and I instantly know who it is by his radiating heat. He's not quite touching me but he's close. "What's going on?"
"I shouldn't be here but I don't want to disappoint my Mom."
"Ri, you're their family of course you should be." I continue to stare at the wall.
"No, I don't belong anymore. Look, they're all happy, they've all got smiles on their faces. You've all got a significate other in your life and then there's me. The fragile girl that people tread on egg shells around."
"Of course you belong Ri, you always will. I hate how negative you are. I'm sorry I made you like this."
"No, you're the reason why I'm here at all. Before you I'd be out getting pissed somewhere. I didn't do family things. I'd probably be dead somewhere because I wouldn't have gone to the hospital that day. I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for you. I guess in some ways you did more right than wrong even if it was a lie."
"Have you gone back to the bottle since? I hoped you wouldn't but I'd still like to know." I look into his eyes instead of the wall.
"I've wanted to, I want to forget the pain but I can't because of you."
"I don't understand."
"Why would you, you think I'm missing memories. I remember every single word you said. I quote, just like I have faith you'll stay sober. Every time I go to the booze your voice echos loud and clear like you're right here with me. Even if you don't care about me, I still care about your opinion."
He laughs at me and the corner of my mouth slides up. "Oh yeah. Well I'm glad you haven't." I'm not, well that's not strictly true. I wish I was intoxicated for my sanity and wellbeing. I'm also glad I'm sober for my family. I don't want to die but sometimes I'd rather go through life without a care in the world. I could be with other people not just Flynn. "Come sit with us?"
I look back at the wall, "No, I hate to break it to you but I'm not keen on your girlfriend or his for that matter."
Flynn throws his head back and laughs, "Well that's not nice, she likes you. I mean, she wants to get to know you. That's why she's here."
I scowl at Flynn, "I told you, I don't ever claim to be nice. I need the loo," I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I lock the door behind me. It's too much pressure to be here. I should have stayed at home. I don't think I would have even been curious as to what was going on in here if I stayed at home. I look in the mirror and check my make up is still intact.
I didn't even need the loo, I just came in here to get away from all of them. Instead of leaving the bathroom I opt for the door to what would be my bedroom. I assume this is Flynn's bedroom if he drunkenly came into my room and not the other room. I open it and I'm instantly hit with Flynn's scent. I walk to his small bed and curl up on the scruffy covers. His room is a mess and it's dark in here.
I close my eyes and think of a future where we could be happy here together. A future where he wants me and not that princess red head. Hope is a powerful thing but it's also enough to destroy you. I'm not naive enough to think there could actually be a future but I can still dream. I like to sleep so I can dream of what my heart desires but I only get nightmares.
Nightmares just like my life is. A constant disappoint me, the more I try to change the outcome the worse it gets.