Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 26

Once I'm in my room I strip into my underwear. Throwing them across the room, stupid colourful clothes. I hear the door open but I don't lookup. I walk to the drawers to find some PJ bottoms. "Ri," he says softly. I continue to hunt through the draws. "Ri look at me."
He closes the distance between us and pulls my chin to meet his gaze. My hands drop to my side like he has full control of my body. "What?"
"I want to help you with this. You're struggling to deal with this," he releases me and pulls his top over his head and places it over my head and I slide my arms through. The little gestures mean the most to me.
I close my eyes and he cups my face, I naturally lean into his hand. "Well, yeah. You know you are the most important thing to me. To know that in a blink of an eye you can be ripped away from me. How am I supposed to have faith that you'll be here tomorrow when I've never had faith?" his thumb traces my bottom lip.
"It will take more than a stupid drunk driver to keep me from you, Ri. You started to have faith, just please try to have faith in me. Just like I have faith in you to stay sober." Those words cut deep inside of me. He has faith in me to stay sober? Well he has more faith than I do. If I could move my body the night I was alone in Flynn's bed I would have seeked out the alcohol.
"You have more faith in me than I have." I confess.
"I guess I know you better than you know yourself, shall we go back downstairs now before I keep you here?" I nod and rummage through the draw to find some shorts. I slide them on and Flynn slides his hand in mine. We make a slight detour to his room so he can get a fresh top. I smile when he places a kiss on my lips before we leave the room.
We walk hand in hand down the stairs. "You hungry guys? I made sandwiches," Mom calls from the kitchen.
"Starving, Abigail." I snatch my hand away and walk to the living room and jump on the sofa. I haven't gotten my appetite back yet.
"What's up?" Tyler asks from the other sofa where Dad normally sits with Mom. He's changed his clothes and he's tucking into some crisps.
"Nothing," I snap. "Where's my phone?" Tyler frowns and gets up to retrieve my phone. He pads across the room and grabs the phone off the sideboard.
"Clearly," he mutters whilst he lobs it at me. I read my text messages from Jesse and Nathan. There's also one from Bella, Ezra's sister to say it was nice to see me again and we should catch up. No ta. I don't do the whole friends thing. Ezra sent me a message to say he had fun at the waterpark. I roll my eyes, he even sounds innocent via text message.
I like Ezra, I do but I am so unsure of everything that I need someone dominant that can hold the authority. Not someone like him but Flynn does a pretty good job, he can tell me when I'm being irrational. He takes control and that's what I need. Whether it was him that made me that way I will never know. Even when I was intoxicated I needed them to somewhat have some control. They took what they wanted and it was less awkward.
I could never be with Ezra, even if he wasn't innocent anymore, he's just not confident enough. He could never look after me the way I need. I need security, I need to feel safe around them. Flynn has ruined guys for me now. No one could ever come close to Flynn. It wouldn't even be worth exploring if we split up. I know no one could ever make me feel the way Flynn makes me feel.
Flynn slumps on the couch next to me resting his arm over my shoulder. He shoves food in his mouth but not quite like I do it. "I want to check out the film After, I've heard good reviews." Mom says.
"There was me thinking you weren't half bad Abigail and then you choose a film like that." Flynn groans.
"Let them watch this then we will pick the next one." Tyler says equally annoyed at the film choice.
"Sure, I can live with that. What do you say honey?" Mom says to me. I look at her and shrug. I don't even care for films these days. I completely blanked the last film we watched.
"Whatever, I don't even like movies anymore. They suck, just like books. It isn't real," I look back at my phone and start replying to the texts.
"You used to love movie night, you used to lock yourself in your room and read for hours." I look back up at her.
"That was before, mother."
"Great, back to Mother. Shall we play the movie? Honey, eat something please." She looks at the platter on the coffee table. Sandwiches, crisps, sliced carrots, dips and salad. Tyler presses play and I grab a plate and put a sandwich on the plate with some crisps.
I look at the screen, I realise I've actually read these books. I enjoyed them at the time. I read them all in a few days as I couldn't put them down. The undeniable connection between them was breathtaking. I always wished I could find someone like Hardin. The way Tessa fixed him but he broke her at the same time.
Sometimes I think Tessa was too dramatic, people aren't perfect and he showed time and time again he was trying to be better. They liked to hurt each other a lot but don't they say you can only truly hurt the people you love? I actually watch the film with my full attention. I always find the films a disappointment compared to the books. You can never capture the love and connection written in books in my opinion.
I find myself falling in love with Hardin all over again. I feel Flynn's burning eyes on me and I look at him. He pulls me closer to his body so I'm sat between his legs. His back against the arm rest and our legs on the sofa. He whispers in my ear, "This film sucks but I'm enjoying you watching it."
I rest my left hand on his left knee and lightly stroke it and he growls softly in my ear, "You'll pay for that later." I giggle as quietly as I can.
I eat the sandwich that has been sat on my lap. I miss Dad with us. Without Flynn I'd be off getting wasted somewhere most likely. It's been a while since we have had a proper movie night. I always flat out refused when they suggested it after the accident. I'm starting to feel normal again with each passing day and what's more I'm enjoying family time.
I find myself smiling enjoying this moment. I look to Mom and Tyler on the other sofa and they are both engrossed in the film. "Mommy? Ty?" They both look at me in an instant. "I love you." Mom smiles a bright smile and tears form in her eyes.
"We love you too, honey." We all go back to watching the film until it ends. I hear the door open and I get up and run to the front door. Dad turns after shutting the front door and I jump into his arms.
"I love you Daddy," he jumps back in surprise but wraps his arms around me. I bury my face in his neck and I hear him slide his shoes off as they clatter on the tiles and he walks into the living room.
"I love you too Princess. What are we doing?" I remove my face from his neck and examine his face.
"Movie afternoon," Mom informs. "Hey honey, you've just missed a good film but it's guys choice for the next one." I slide back to the floor and Dad puts his hand on the top of my head. He smiles at me with relief I think.
"Good, you girls choose sappy films. What are we thinking?" Dad asks Tyler and Flynn. I look at Flynn and then to Tyler.
"Venom, Extraction or the old guard." Tyler shrugs.
"Oo, Venom. I haven't watched that yet," Dad says. I roll my eyes, typical guy films. I return to my seat and Flynn holds me again. "I'm just going to change out of my suit." Dad says and leaves the room.
We enjoy the rest of the evening, Venom was actually pretty good too. Mom cooked a curry which was delicious. Flynn gets tired and excuses himself to bed about 9.30. He's always so strong around me it's hard to remember he's just come out of a coma. "My bed, remember," he whispers in my ear as he gets up.
I nod and Tyler follows him up the stairs. I lay on the sofa for a little while. "Honey, you look tired. Go to bed," I yawn looking at the time. 10.30? How did I zone out for an hour? I get up and kiss my parents goodnight and head upstairs. I go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I look in the mirror whilst I brush my teeth. My face has more colour and less pale. My eyes are beginning to sparkle again.
I am starting to feel cold again so I quickly finish brushing my teeth and make my way to Flynn's room. I quietly enter his room, it's dark and I can hear his shallow breathing. He must have been tired. I walk quietly as I can to his bed and slide in next to him. I grab his arm and I pull it around me, protecting me.
He groans and pulls me closer, "I didn't think you were coming," he says sleepily. He nuzzles my neck with his nose.
"Flynn?"
"Yeah,"
"What's your sister's name?" he freezes and sits up on his elbow.
"Why are you asking about my sister?"
"I just want to know everything about you. You said you love your sister, I just want to know about her because she's important to you." I turn to face him so I'm laying on my other side.
"Miley," he sighs. "She was four when they died. She'd be eight now." When he first mentioned it he said years. I thought it would be more than four years. "I begged to be kept together but no one wanted two kids. Only one, I have no idea where she is now."
"Miley is a pretty name."
"Yeah, I miss her." I lean forward and kiss his nose.
"I wish I could meet her."
"Me too. Now, I want to know his name. We always refer to him as he or him. I gave you a name now I'd like you to return the favour." I shut my eyes shutting out the pain.
"James," I whisper. The name gets caught in my throat.
"What?" he asks. I guess it wasn't clear. I take another deep breath.
"James," I say clearer this time. I bury my face in his chest.
"Thank you," I haven't said his name out loud since he died. Flynn grabs my hips and pulls me on top of him. We are nose to nose I can almost taste his minty breath. "Now, if I remember rightly you were going to take me tonight." I giggle.
I slide down his body and kneel between his legs. His breathing picks up in anticipation. I draw circles on his hips above his waistband of his boxers. He flexes his hips to try speed things up. I smile at him and hastily pull his boxers off. I pull his top off my body and toss it on the floor. I push my shorts and panties down and pull them off before I climb back onto him.
He stays perfectly still watching my every move, "Bra off," he insists. "I love it how they bounce when you ride me." I smile again and reach back and unclasp my bra and drop it on his head and he grabs it out of his view. "We need to be careful Ri, I need condoms."
"We've had unprotected sex a few times Flynn and I'm not pregnant. They did the tests at the hospital. I like to feel all of you," I ease myself onto his hardened length.
"Christ Ri, you make all my rational thoughts fly out the window. I should be more responsible," I start to move up and down feeling every burning inch of him. His hands dig into my hips as he watches me ride him.
I've missed being in our safe haven. "I love you," I cry as he pushes his hips up so he's deeper inside me. My heart is beating frantically, my body is setting on fire. I didn't know my body could feel this hot. His lips part as he pants through them. I reach out to touch his soft lips and he takes my index finger into his mouth. He sucks on it and I gasp.
His tongue and piercing swirls around my finger and I'm lost. His teeth graze my finger as I pull it out his mouth. He sits up so we are face to face. "You're burning me, Flynn."
"Good. . . I love you. Don't ever forget that. You mean everything to me. Whatever happens just remember that you are my world. No one will ever compare to you," I start to ride him quicker. "Say it Ri."
"I am your world, I am your only one." I translate breathlessly. "And you are mine." Why does it feel like he's saying goodbye? I push it to the back of my mind and only living in this moment right now. This makes sense to me, the only thing I don't have to work hard at. This comes naturally, no awkward moments. No awkward dirty talk, no hiding myself from him. Only our love and passion for each other.
My eyes become blurry and I know I'm close. "Yes, baby. You are. Remember." I hesitate my thrusts but Flynn continues to push my hips up and down. What is he saying? His scent distracts me from my thoughts, "Come for me, only for me baby." I tilt my head back and call out as my climax consumes me. Flynn holds me in place as he comes inside of me violently. I feel him pulsing inside of me and it sends me deeper into my safe haven. I lose all senses and the darkness takes me.
I wake with Flynn wrapped around me and I smile. I feel so safe here with him, "The fuck is this?" James's voice echos through me. I look around and we are in my room. Why are we in my room? James pulls Flynn out of bed and punches him over and over. I scream for him to get off him but he doesn't listen. He stops when Flynn is a lifeless bloody mess on the floor.
James looks at me with deadly green eyes. I stop breathing and he walks towards me and pins me down on the bed. His hand covers my mouth and his smell overwhelms me. The mixture of his scent and alcohol. I scream through his hand but it only comes out as a muffled sound. "You are mine. You love me, right? If you love me, you'll do this for me."
"Ri!" I jolt awake and look into Flynn's calming eyes. I breathe fast in and out realising it was all a nightmare. Flynn is fully dressed, he must have left me. "You're okay, it was a nightmare."
"You must have left," I whisper.
"I'm sorry, I was talking to Tyler downstairs about going back to Duke today. I'm sorry I left you. What was your nightmare about?"
"He killed you and then he forced himself on me again. His hand felt so real on my mouth, he smelled just the same." I cringe.
"Pfft. That's insulting that you think he could hurt me. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you," I don't mean to offend him. I just knew what he was capable of.
"I can't choose my nightmare, Flynn. It's my darkest fears," I frown and he smiles trying to lighten the mood. My breathing starts to return to normal.
"Come, let's shower. You're all sweaty and we are leaving soon." He pulls me to my feet and brings me with him to the door. He picks up the pill box and pushes the tablets in my mouth. Lucky he remembers because I'll forget. He picks up his top off the floor where I discarded it last night and pulls it over my head. I assist him with putting my arms through the holes. He pulls me out of the room, down the hall and into the bathroom.
He removes my top once we are in the bathroom. He shoves a waterproof arm cover over my cast. Where did that come from? Did Mom use it the other day and I didn't notice? I watch him as he removes his clothes and he pulls me into the the shower with him. I shiver when the water hits my skin. He pulls me to his body and he rests his face in my neck. He nuzzle my neck and he holds me like this for ages. I hate the vibes I'm getting off him. He's holding me like he's going to say goodbye. Just like his words last night.
After a while he releases me and squirts body wash all over my chest and then he lathers it in, his eyes dialate and his breathing hitches. "I want to kiss every inch of you and heal all those hidden scars. Your beautiful face is marked with bruises, your wrist is broken. That will heal in time," he places his hand over my heart. "I hope one day this will heal too."
I frown at him as I look into his eyes, pain is all I see. "You're healing my broken heart," I reassure him. He half smiles in response.
"And I will forever love your heart broken or otherwise. It doesn't matter to me if you're broken or complete. Nothing will make me love you any less. Just remember your heart is pink not black. Remember," I don't understand why he keeps telling me to remember. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him to me. I rest my cheek on his chest.
"I know," I sigh. I need him to tell my everything will be okay but I know he won't. He's acting strange and I don't like it. He squirts the shampoo on the top of my head and he massages my head rubbing it in. I tilt my head back enjoying this heavenly feeling. I feel cherished and loved right here right now.
I don't want to leave this shower, this house, this life, this world. He is my everything now, my every thought revolves around Flynn. My every feeling is because of him, towards him. I owe him everything because he brought me back to the real me. I wrap my teeth around is neck and suck marking him. He's mine and I can finally mark him as mine. Flynn groans and I release him. Nothing can seperate us now. He's mine and I am forever his.