Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 38

I'm discharged from hospital that day. I've told them all to go home even Flynn much to his protest. I sit on the sofa looking at the pictures of Miley, what am I going to do? I call Dr Faye back. "Dr Faye?"
"Hi, it's Riley Blake. I'm sorry I missed your call."
"Oh, that's okay. How did your visit go yesterday?"
"Okay, I think. She's a sweet kid."
"Sweet isn't how we would describe her. She has a lot of issues. She acts out when she's scared or confronted. She switches off to the outside world. You entering her life has changed her in some ways but I worry it will set her back."
"Set her back how?"
"She loves you already, that's clear. If you intend to never come back it will crush her. She thinks you'll take her home one day. She knows it won't be now but she believes you will. You need to decide what you want from this. I don't want her to get any more attached if that's not the outcome."
"I don't know what to say? I never went there intending to what adopt her?" This isn't what I had in mind at all.
"We never expected her to attach to you like this either. I can't give you any answers but she's always been withdrawn. She doesn't eat, sleep, she doesn't play with the other kids. She hardly talks, she can get violent. She's very self-efficient but she's not fully developed for her age. She's bright for her age, she reads a lot but she's still a young child in some ways and acts a lot older in other ways.
"She looks like a five-year-old. We try to look after her but she won't let us. You've had more of a breakthrough than we ever have. She's been in and out of foster homes but she doesn't settle. She's manageable here but only just. She told me that she has to behave for you to return. So like I say you need to decide now what you want from this before you come back. Just let me know if you decide not to return so I can prepare her." I shudder at the thought of her thinking her Angel won't be returning.
"Okay, you've given me a lot to think about," I say. "I'll call you," I agree. I hang up the phone. How can I leave her there? How can I look after her when I'm fucked up myself? I haven't even told Flynn yet.
The next couple of days pass by in a blur the only time I'm truly here is when she's on the phone to me. She always tells me about her day. She's ever hopeful when she can see me. I decide that I can't face it anymore. The separation isn't working for us and she grows more distant with every call.
I visit her a few more times over the next week. I bought her a book, Black Beauty and she absolutely adores it. She says it's her new favourite book. Every time she cries when I leave and it's heartbreaking but I stay until closing every time. The next day is Friday, time is passing too quickly. My phone buzzes and I pick it up. "Hello?"
"Hi, it's Roxanne from Black Hill again." My heart falls. What has happened?
"Is she okay?" I panic.
"Yes, she fine. She's just a bit agitated today. She thinks you're coming today to take her home for the weekend. She's got in a fight already today with a kid that called her a liar."
"I never said I was. She's never even asked me."
"I don't doubt that. I was just calling to see if it was possible on your end. She's been crying all morning."
"Is that allowed? Has Dr Faye approved?"
"You're officially registered now. It's legit, so if you wanted to you could. Dr Faye approves which is why I called." I stay silent on the phone. "Do you need time? Am I railroading you, Hon?"
"It was just a shock that's all. When shall I pick her up?"
"Oh man, this will make the poor girl's day. Say 3 pm and return her by 6 pm on Sunday? I'll have all the paperwork drawn up when you get here."
"Okay, I'll be there," I hang up the phone and check the time. 11 am. I may as well get ready to go, I'll swing by the shops and get her some clothes for when she's here. I walk to the supermarket and get her some kids clothes. I buy clothes for a five-year-old they seem a better size than the eight-year-olds.
I'm anxious about having her under my care. What if she runs away? What then? What if she becomes out of control? I leave the store and get cash out for a taxi. I wave down a taxi to the bus station. I block out the journey there, I'm too nervous. When I get to the home I walk into reception. "Angel!" her little voice calls to me. I drop to my knees and she runs into my arms. Everything feels so right when we are together. "I knew you'd come." She says in my ear.
"Hey honey, I've missed you," I say. She releases me and I stand up. She holds my hand and Roxanne holds some paperwork out to me. I have to release Miley's hand so I can place it in my backpack with her clothes. Miley holds my leg whilst I sort my bag out.
"Good luck, call if you need anything. Have fun, Miley." I hold my hand out to Miley but she holds her hands out to me wanting me to carry her.
I lift her up, "I will, I'm with my Angel. She's going to save me you know?" Miley rests her face in the crook of my neck. I smile and carry her out of the home and head back towards the bus stop. Damn, I should have faced my fears and did my driving test. I hate the thought of Miley getting a bus.
Miley doesn't stop talking all the way home and I'm glad. I like that she's talking they always say she doesn't talk. I get another taxi home from the bus station. She's fallen asleep in my arms. I carry her from the taxi to the elevator. I freeze when I see Mom and Dad standing outside my door. I clutch Miley tighter to me protecting her. I walk to my door, I see their shocked expression but I ignore them and unlock the door feeling them judge me.
"Lee who is that and what's going on?" I hush them.
"Let me put her to bed and I'll answer your questions." They nod and I take her to the spare room. Luckily Mom has made the bed already. I lift the covers back and lay her on the bed. She clings to me and I gentle soothe her. I notice Mom lurking in the doorway. I remove her shoes and coat and I tuck her in. I kiss her forehead and she mumbles Angel in her sleep. I leave the room taking one last look. I leave the door ajar so I can hear her if she wakes.
"What is going on Lee?" Mom demands.
"She needs me," I say.
"Who is she?"
"Miley Archer," I admit. Mom gasps but Dad doesn't seem that shocked he knew I met her already.
"Flynn's sister? What does he say about all of this? Do you think this is wise Riley? You aren't exactly a good role model right now. It was only last week that you had alcohol poisoning."
"Can you keep your voice down, please? I've been visiting her for a couple of weeks. The home thought she would benefit from a weekend with family. Well, actually Miley told everyone I was taking her home before I knew myself."
"A home?"
"Yes, Mother. She's a very troubled little girl."
"Then you're the last person to look after her."
"Oh, thanks for the confidence Mother. The home doesn't understand her. She's connected with me unlike anyone else. She doesn't talk, eat, play or sleep in there. The very first day she spoke to me without problems. She fell asleep on me and she ate with me."
"Angel!" Miley screams and I run to the bedroom. Shit, is she okay? "Angel!" She cries again. I lift her into my arms.
"Shh honey, I'm here. I'm here baby girl." I rock her side to side.
"You're here, Angel," she sighs.
"I am, baby. Are you hungry?"
She shrugs, "I could eat." I carry her out of the bedroom. She grips me tighter when she realises there are strangers in my house.
"Hi Honey," Mom says and Miley recoils into me hiding her face in my neck. "You're a timid little thing aren't you. How old are you?"
Miley doesn't answer her. I sit on the sofa with her on my lap and Mom and Dad sit down too. "Miley, this is my Mom and Dad. Abigail and Hayden." Her curiosity gets the better of her again and she peeks at them.
"You are Angel's parents?" she asks timidly.
"She calls you Angel?" She asks me and I shrug. "Yes, Honey. We are."
"She's an Angel. She's going to save me. I just know it. I will live with her one day. I have to be patient but I will!" She insists. Mom looks at me and I shrug again.
"How old are you?" She asks again.
"Eight," Miley whispers and she buries her face in my neck.
"My god, eight?" I glare at Mom and she smiles apologetically.
"Honey, did you want a bath? Then I'll make you dinner." Mom stands up and walks to the kitchen.
"I'll make dinner, you bath her." Mom offers and I thank her.
"Come on sweetheart," I stand up with her in my arms.
"Will you bath me again? I like it when you do it," I nod and take her into the bathroom. I run the bath and Miley strips. I check the temperature before she gets in. I hear the front door open and I panic. Miley looks at me in the bath.
"I'll be back in a second okay, baby? Call me if you need me." She nods and turns the taps off. I leave the door ajar. I see Flynn and Tyler in my apartment.
"There you are, I've been looking for you. You've been awol again," Tyler scolds.
"You need to leave," I mutter.
"Why?" he asks a bit too loud.
"Shh," I snap. "Mom, Dad, get them to leave," I beg and return to the bathroom.
"You okay Angel?" She shouldn't keep asking me that. She shouldn't worry about anyone but herself.
"Of course Honey. Shall I do your hair?" She nods. "Let me go grab a jug. I'll be back." I walk out of the bathroom and they are still there. Mom tries reasoning with them. I grab a jug from the cupboards. I feel his eyes on me. "Mom," I urge.
"I'll bring you food round. She's not up for visitors." Mom says. She doesn't lie very well. I return to the bathroom. I root around the cupboards and I find a flannel for her. She smiles and covers her eyes. I start to wash her hair.
"Are you upset Angel? I heard you talking."
"No honey, how can I be upset with you here?" I finish washing her hair and I wash her body. I grab a towel and lift her out the bath. I walk her through the joining door to her bedroom so she doesn't go into the living room with them there.
I dry her and put on her new PJ's and they fit quite well, "You bought these for me? They are so pretty with the horses." I smile that she likes them. I gently brush her hair and she looks better. She jumps into my arms, I hear the door go and I check the living room is clear before I take her out the room.
As I walk back into the room the front door opens and I freeze. Flynn walks back in and his eyes look straight at me. Oh fuck. Miley has her face buried in my neck so he can't see her face. "Mom," I beg.
"You said you would leave." Mom frowns as she sorts dinner. I sit on the couch with Miley. I don't hear Flynn's reply but I feel him watching me.
"Are people upset because I'm here?" She whispers in my ear.
"No baby, they are upset with me. But not because of you," I reassure her. "Do you want to watch TV?" She turns in my lap and she squeals.
"You have a big TV, Angel!" She claps her hands and I laugh. "Can we watch Harry Potter? Please Angel," She begs.
"Of course, Honey." I grab the remote and find the film for her. She sits engrossed watching the film.
"What is going on?" Flynn growls. I glare at him and put my finger to my lip asking him to be quiet.
"Angel?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Where is your boyfriend? Does he live with you?" She asks hopefully. Little does she know that he's standing right behind her if she looked.
"No baby. He doesn't live with me."
"Oh, does my brother not want to see me still?" I freeze and look at Flynn and he frowns cocking his head at us.
"Riley, outside now!" Flynn growls. Oh fuck. Miley clings to me and looks at Flynn.
"Is that? Is that him?" she asks hiding her face again.
"Yes, honey." I sigh, "That's Flynn."
"My brother?" she asks hopefully. Flynn's eyes widen, christ this wasn't how it was supposed to play out. My family don't normally bother me and here they are the one time I have a guest.
"Yes baby, that's him."
"Riley, get your backside out the door. Now!" Flynn growls. I sigh and place Miley on the sofa. I place the blanket over her.
"Watch the Telly sweetheart. I'll just be outside okay? Abigail and Hayden will be here if you need anything." She nods and I kiss her head.
"Angel?" she asks as I leave.
"Yes, baby?"
"You are coming back, right?" She asks anxiously.
"You're worth coming back to," I promised. She smiles and goes back to watch Telly. Flynn grabs my arm and pulls me out the door. Once the door closes he turns to face me.
"The fuck is going on? That's my sister, right? Why is she here? Were you going to tell me?" he shouts.
"Don't shout at me, Flynn!"
"Then tell me!" he snaps.
"I got my Dad to track her down. I wanted to see her, see if she was okay before I told you. I was going to tell you when I got back last week but then you fucked Ariel."
"So what, you wanted to punish me? I didn't even sleep with her Ri!"
"No not punish you. She connected with me, it was awful seeing her in that place. She's a lot like me in someways. She has a lot of issues, Flynn. She begs me to visit, this morning I got a call from the home to say she got in a fight with a kid because they called her a liar. She told them I was taking her home for the weekend. She cried all morning until I accepted. I was always going to tell you about her, I just couldn't find the right words after that day."
"I had a right to know, Ri. I can't believe you. How could you do this to me? I trusted you!" The door opens.
"Honey, stay in here," Mom calls.
"Angel!" Miley cries and holds her hands out to me I pick her up.
"What's up, honey?" I rock her gently.
"You left me for too long." I giggle lightly. Flynn doesn't take his eyes off me. "Is he mad at me?" she whispers.
"No baby, Flynn isn't mad at you. Come let's go see what Abigail made us to eat." I open the door. "We are starving, Guv'nor," I say to Mom. "What are we hunting today," I say playfully and Miley giggles. I tickle her so I can hear her laugh more.
"Sit down, it's ready," Mom says. I sit at the table with her on my lap. "Are you coming or going Flynn?" Mom asks. I look at him lingering in the doorway watching us.
Mom passes me a small plate for Miley. Sausage and mash with peas and gravy. "Coming," he says after a long pause. He sits opposite me and he burns me.
"You want to cut it yourself?" I ask Miley.
"You do it, Angel." I cut her sausages into small chunks. Mom passes me my plate and I cut mine up too. Miley faces forward to eat her food. I angle my body so I can eat around her. I shovel my food in.
"Riley, did you teach the kid your poor eating habits?" I look at Miley copying me and I stroke the top of her head.
"Angel said, we eat normal. Everybody else eats weird." Dad laughs and I smile. I glance and Flynn and a smile reaches his lips.
"She's eight," Flynn whispers sheepishly.
"They say she's more like a five-year-old." I answer, "But you're also clever for your age. Isn't that right baby?" She nods. "Read all the books in the library."
"Why?" he whispers again. I frown, why can't he ask me when she's not here.
"She hasn't developed as she should. She's a very self-efficient child, she does everything herself. Before I came along she never let anyone bath her. I had to teach her to wash correctly. She used to hide her food. She doesn't sleep well. They believe in time she will fully develop if on the right path."
"Angel is going to save me." She says again, "She's going to take me home to live here with her. She will take me far away from there. She so pretty, isn't she?"
Flynn swallows and nods, "Yes she is." Flynn addresses her directly for the first time. "What does she mean?"
I cover her ears, "She thinks I'm going to adopt her one day," I say and she pushes my hands away.
"Are you?" he says shocked.
"I don't know, I've been taking it one day at a time. I try not to give her false hope but it's what she believes."
"Angel?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Can I stay here forever? I don't want to go back there. The kids are mean to me and the staff shout at me. I'd have to go back and get Flynn though."
"I'll speak to the staff baby. I told the last one off for you. Remember what I said about being good so I can still visit? You have to be patient, or they could keep us apart. Just enjoy the right now honey okay?"
"Okay, Angel. One day! Can I watch Harry Potter now? I love your TV, I got told off for watching it last time. Is that allowed?" I look at her empty plate and I smile.
I kiss her head, "Sure, baby. You're safe with me." She clings to my neck and jumps down and runs to the sofa and climbs on it.
"Riley, you need to be careful. She loves you, she truly believes you'll keep her." Mom says keeping her voice down. "I wish you discussed this with me."
"You didn't see her in there Mom. It was like looking at myself in the mirror. She was staring at the walls. Something I've become accustomed to. She showed me around the home. She showed me the outdoor area and do you know what she said? This is where they play. Not we, they. One little shit called her a freak right in front of me and she tried to make me feel better saying she's used to it, she knew she was a freak.
"That broke me, she's no freak. She's just hurting like me, she introduced me to her therapist. She said she was her favourite but she didn't say much to her in front of me. We passed a member of staff in the corridor and she told her off for not talking. She blanks out around people, I know how that feels. She showed me her bedroom, she doesn't like anyone in there but she let me. She braided my hair and then she begged me to do hers but I couldn't, her hair was too greasy and knotted.
"She hadn't let anyone brush her hair since her Mom but she wanted me to. I asked her when she last washed her hair and she said she didn't know how. I asked a member of staff if I could wash her hair and she said she could hurt me. I said Miley gave me permission. She told me it was on my head be it and to get her to wash properly because she stinks. I told Miley to wait outside for me whilst I laid into her for offending that sweet child in front of her. She won't do it again, that's for sure!
"She ran her own bath, checked the temperature herself before she got in. The bath was filthy anyway but the water was black when she got out. I took her back to her room and put fresh clothes on. I brushed through her hair braided it like she did mine and then she fell asleep on me. She slept for hours. Then I took her to eat. The staff were again rude to her telling her to eat it not hide it. She ate without problems with me but the staff watched her like a freak show. I was told I had to leave and she screamed clinging to me.
"Tears don't belong on her face. I told her she needed to be brave and a good girl and I would be able to return. You tell me how I'm supposed to leave her there? No one can handle her. The home struggles but I guess they just leave her to look after herself. Look at her," They all look at her. "How can I leave her? So much like Flynn, so much like herself, so much like me even though she's not blood."
Miley looks at me and she smiles and waves then goes back to watching TV. "Honey, I know you have her best interest at heart but what about yours?" Mom asks.
"What do you mean?"
"What about what is best for you? This responsibility could send you over the edge. Not to mention what Flynn wants. She's his sister after all," Mom sighs.
"She is what's best for me do you not see? Nothing makes sense when we are apart, just like Flynn and me." I look at him and he cocks his head but stays quiet. "She makes me whole, I feel regret about drinking that night because of her. The whole world could come crashing down but I will still stay sober for her now. She'd be heartbroken if I missed her daily call. If I die she would be alone."
"Angel?" I look over and smile at her. "I'm thirsty," I nod and make my way to the kitchen.
"Milk?" I ask.
"Milk?" She frowns. "What does milk taste like?" I turn away from her and take a deep breath fighting back the tears. I wipe my eyes and turn back to face her.
"It makes you big and strong. Do you want to try it," she beams at me and nods. I open the fridge and I hide my face whilst tears escape my eyes. Milk helps a child grow, no wonder she's tiny. I feel arms around me and I turn to see Flynn and I bury my face in his neck.
"Shh, I know baby," he hushes me. "We need to talk about this, Ri I'm so fucking mad at you but I just want to say thank you." He kisses me briefly and I wipe my tears with the back of my hand. I grab the milk and pour some in a glass. I shut the fridge and carry the glass to her.
I tuck her back into the blanket and pass her the milk. "Be careful you don't spill it, honey," I say and she nods. She holds it with both her tiny hands and she brings it to her mouth. She sips on it and then smiles. She takes a big mouthful.
"So good," she smiles at me. I stroke her head and she goes back to watching her film. I walk back to the table.
Tyler walks into my apartment without knocking. He frowns as he takes in the room. Flynn has now sat at the table again. "Well, my food never arrived and you never returned Bro. Who is that?" Tyler asks looking at Miley.
Miley looks up, "Angel's brother," Miley says.
"Yes, sweetheart. That's Tyler," she continues to sip on her drink.
"How does she know who he is?" Flynn says. He never asks her which is frustrating. I pull my phone out of my pocket. I open the pictures and show him the picture of him and Tyler.
"She wanted to see a picture of you because she couldn't remember what you looked like. It was the only picture I had." I swipe over, "Well, I had this one. She has this one pinned on her wall." I swipe to the pictures of Miley on my phone, "She has these on her wall too. Says her Angel watches her sleep."
I put my phone away even though he was looking at it. "What am I missing? Who is the girl?" Tyler asks again.
"My sister," Flynn says blankly.
"Your little sister? Fuck man," I stand up and drag him into my seat and I cover his mouth.
"Don't swear," I growl keeping my voice down. He frowns but then nods and I release him. He opens his mouth to speak again trying to find the right words to say.
"Why is she here?"
"Your sister has been visiting my sister secretly without telling me. Now she has temporary custody." Flynn growls.
"The Fu--" I hold his mouth before anything else come out.
"I will beat you," I warn. He holds his hands up and I release him.
"Angel?" I look over to her and she's finished her milk. "I'm tired," she yawns and her eyes droop.
"Shall I put you to bed, Honey?" She shakes her head. "You want me to hold you until you sleep?" She nods and I join her on the couch. I sit in my corner and she climbs on my lap with the blanket.
They all follow me to the couch like she's a magnet too. Flynn sits next to me closest to her head as her head is resting on my elbow. I cover her with the blanket. I kiss her forehead, "Sleep, princess. I'll be here when you wake up." I promise her and her eyes close.
"I don't understand any of this," Tyler says. "How did you end up her carer so to speak? Don't you have to be immediate family or a registered foster carer?"
"I er, I told a white lie. Kind of, well I did lie but he's family all the same," I shrug. I stroke her hair and she mumbles in her sleep.
"Honey, what did you tell them? Was it a huge lie? Could you get into trouble?" Mom asks. I shrug.
"It was only supposed to be a one time visit. I always planned to tell Flynn and then that night happened and I couldn't find the words to tell him. So I carried on the lie." She looks at me as if to urge me to tell the lie and I sigh. "In my defence his technically family anyway."
"Just tell us, Lee." Mom demands.
"I told them that I was Flynn's fiancee." I rest my face on her head to hide my flushed face.
"Honey!" Mom gasps and Flynn laughs. "Don't encourage her Flynn. This is serious," Mom scolds.
"What's the harm Mom? I'm no pedo, serial killer, sex offender. Flynn is family, he's my better half anyway."
"That's not the point honey. If they find out you lied you could get into a lot of trouble. They could stop you seeing her," I shake my head. They can't she will be lost without me, just like I'm lost without them.
"Angel," she mumbles. "Don't leave me, Angel." She doesn't stir. "I love you." I stroke her cheek trying to settle her.
I pause her film so she can watch it tomorrow. I put on something in the background. "Do you have nothing to say Hayden?"
"Well, yes actually." He pauses and the takes a deep breath, "I see a change in you, princess. I think this has changed you for the better. I was no natural father, I loved you for sure but nothing I did seemed right. I learned to adapt, learned what you needed and wanted. It got easier when you could talk and tell me. But you Lee, she moves you move. She looks at you in a certain way you know exactly what she wants. You were destined to be a mother and here you are. She may not be your biological child but the bond is the same.
"You took the role so easily without being asked and you probably don't even know you're doing it. Do you know how much I'm in awe right now? I thought you'd never have kids but here you are and I am so happy it hurts."
"Mother?" I squeak. "No," I say awkwardly. Flynn's hand touches her head and then snatches it away. I grab his hand and reassure him. He's scared, he doesn't know how to be close to her. He hasn't seen her in so long, he doesn't know how to act around her. I place his hand back on her head and he strokes her hair as he does with mine.
"Don't you see honey?" Dad asks. I look at her perfect face, I love her sure but daughter? I always looked at her as Flynn's little sister. Didn't I? I love her because she's a part of Flynn.
"Flynn," she mutters and Flynn withdraws his hand like she's the devil. I roll my eyes at his awkwardness.
"I think we better head off Love," Dad says to Mom and she nods getting up.
"Tyler, I left your dinner in the microwave. Lee, call me if you need anything." I nod. She walks to us and kisses us each in turn including Flynn and Miley. "Bye kids." We say our goodbyes and they leave.
I start to feel really tired and I don't know what time it is. I think it's the travelling, "So, Britney is coming over tonight," Flynn groans.
"I'll stay here, I'll even stay on the couch if it makes you feel better. I just don't want to waste this time with my sister. And I need to talk through shit with, Riley," I glance at Tyler and he nods.
"Fine, is that okay Lee?" I nod.
"Like you lot give me a choice anyway. I'm going to bed in a minute, I'm shattered." They both laugh quietly not to wake her. Tyler kisses my forehead and leaves the apartment with his food. I stand up and carry Miley into her room. I tuck her in and leave the joining door ajar along with my door slightly ajar once I'm ready for bed.
I strip and he passes me his top and I smile. I shove it on and I flop on the bed. "Do you know how much more I love you when I see you with her," he says as he lays next to me. I guess he's not planning to sleep on the couch.
"Look, you don't have to do this." I say casually, "You want Ariel," I say without malice. "I will be here for your sister for as long as she needs. You don't need to pretend, I'm done with this back and forth. I'm letting go of you, Flynn. I have to, I don't want to but I have to for her."
He screws his face up, "Don't say that to me," he chokes. I see tears escape his eyes and I don't hesitate to wipe away his tears. "You can't."
"I don't want to hurt you, Flynn. I always said that I would take whatever you'd give me but I can't anymore. That night, I let her down because you hurt me. I need to let go of you so I can be what she needs." It hurts to let him go but it's the healthiest thing to do. "If it was just me I'd hang on indefinitely."
"Ri," he sobs. He buries his face in the crook of my neck, "You can't give up on me." I have to, don't make this harder, please. "She's not wrong you know?" I don't understand, "You are an angel, you saved me so I have no doubt you'll save her. She kept saying you were her angel and I actually felt jealousy. How stupid is that? I've always felt you were my Angel and then she had some claim over you." I laugh gently at his childish behaviour. I stroke his hair soothing him. "Please, Ri, if you give up on me I'll break. I'll end it with Regan, I'll be yours. Properly yours, she helps me see we should be together.
"Don't give up on me, not yet. I haven't shown you how much I truly love you yet. We haven't even started. You can't end it when we haven't even lived!"
"But, your reasons for not being together are still there aren't they? I can't create a rift between you and Tyler. I'm not stupid Flynn. He is keeping us apart and you love him that you can't lose him. I won't get in between you."
"He will come around, Ri. He has to," he begs but he doesn't remove his face from my neck. My neck feels warm and wet from his tears.
"No, I'm not sure he will. If he hasn't come around yet it's unlikely he will. You know that, which is why you kept us apart." When did I turn into the wise and sensible one?
"I'm done putting his feelings first, I won't lose you." I stroke his hair trying to soothe him and a soft grumble escapes his throat.
"I'm just some girl Flynn, he's your best friend, a brother so to speak. He will be there in years to come."
"You aren't just some girl, Ri and you know it." I sigh, yeah I know. He's not just some guy either.
"Let's really try at this friends thing, I don't want to lose you and I want you to be a part of her life. Seems she will be clinging to me forever," I giggle.
"It should be me saying that to you, Ri." He removes his face from my neck and sighs, "I'm still fucking pissed Ri. How could you not tell me?"
"I wanted to, I was going to. As soon as I saw her I was going to tell you. Maybe I would have done if I didn't get shit faced. We hurt each other, Flynn. It's not healthy, I realise that now. I need to be who she needs me to be. I was in too deep the minute she met me. I was only supposed to see her, make sure she wasn't too damaged."
"I really am mad at you but it keeps getting overcome by adoration. I'm in awe and I'm glad she has you." I yawn and he pulls me to his chest and I shut my eyes. "Sleep my Angel," I giggle and shut my mind off. I dream of Flynn and Miley.