Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 25

I wake with a jolt, "Flynn!" I gasp. Burning hands cup my face and I try gather my breathing. My wide eyes look into his tired black eyes.
"I'm here, baby. It's okay," he rests his forehead on mine as I breathe in and out. I shut my eyes breathing him in. I thought I was dreaming that he was awake and alive.
"Honey? Are you hungry?" Mom asks. I shake my head but keep my forehead on his.
"Flynn, this is your bed, not hers." The nurse scolds, "I need to check your dressing." Flynn sighs and sits up next to me as I lay watching him. I grab his hand and he glances at me.
"I think she's worse off than I am. Just let her stay there until she's feeling herself again. Trust me, when she's feeling better you'll appreciate her silence." They all laugh at my expense but I'm not in a laughing mood.
"Fine, how are you feeling?" She asks him. She starts to remove the dressing on his head.
"Better," he lifts one side of his mouth like I'm the reason he's feeling better. "When can I go home?" Home? Does he really feel at home with us or was it a figure of speech?
"The doctor needs to assess you but maybe later today if vitals remain good. You'll need to rest for a week or so."
"Honey, please. Eat something," Mom begs. I don't react to her just keep staring at Flynn who could easily disappear.
"Bro, a little help please?" Tyler snaps. I don't think he's forgiven him yet but at least he called him bro.
"Just bring her something, I'll make her eat it." Flynn says like it's a simple thing. "Bring me something good too. Hospital food sucks."
"Yeah, alright. Anything else?"
"Energy drink, I feel so tired." Flynn mutters.
"Nope, I'm not permitting that. Food yes, caffeine no." The nurse says sternly. "Stick to water, it's healthier."
"Fuck!" he groans. "Roll on discharge. My own bed, no nurses checking on me every twenty minutes." I want to be in our own little safe haven too.
"They are only trying make you better, honey. You'll be back at home with us soon enough. I want to say thank you though," for what?
"You don't need to thank me Abigail. I should thank you, for letting me stay."
"Oh but I do. The change in her is unreal. I mean she's in shock right now but you've changed her. Fixed her if you will. I suspected it was you, the way she listens to you. How I never heard any nightmares. The bracelet, she tried to tell me the intials were EA. I could have sworn I saw FA and then when she was in hospital and lifeless I looked even though I already knew."
"Is Tyler ever going to accept us? He seems so against it but he's happy for his sleazeball friends to be with her."
"You are family Flynn, he will come around when he sees it's for the best, for the both of you. Just give him time." I hadn't even noticed Tyler had gone. I need a wee so I slide out of bed but Flynn keeps hold of my hand.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"The bathroom," I whisper. He releases my hand grudgingly.
"Shall I come with you Honey?" I don't respond just let my feet take me out of his room. "She's still lifeless." I hear her say.
"She's there Abigail. It's her coping mechanism. She's trying not to feel again but she knows she can't block me out. She will be fine," I hear him say before I leave the room. I continue down the hall. Fresh tears brew again and I don't know why.
I open the door to the bathroom and walk in. I find an empty cubicle and go for a wee. The more time passes that I'm not with Flynn the ache in my body increases. I wash my hands and look in the mirror. Bruises cover the right side of my face. My red puffy wet eyes look almost lifeless. My skin paler than normal. It was just starting to get some colour back. I look like I've lost a few more pounds in the last couple of days.
My tear stained cheeks hold moisture as I can't hold back the tears. I leave the bathroom licking my salty lips trying to fight the tears back. I drag my feet back to Flynn's room not processing the people around me. They both look at me when I return into the room. "Honey, what's wrong?" She walks towards me holding her arms out to me. I move so she can't hug me.
Flynn frowns and holds his arms open for me. I crawl over the bed between his legs and curl up onto his chest. "What's wrong baby?" he says into my hair as he kisses the top of my head. His warm arms hold me close to him.
"Nothing, now," I whisper. He rests his chin on the top of my head.
"What was wrong?"
"It doesn't matter," how can I tell him how I feel? Especially with Mom watching over us. To be so exposed again.
"Tell me," he insists.
"You broke me," I admit. "I thought you made me strong, to admit my feelings for you but I was weak. I don't know how to be me without you. So when we are seperated I feel like there is a huge part of me is missing. I don't know how to be me without you anymore. So that makes me weak." I hide my face in his chest feeling his chest expanding.
"I don't think that makes you weak, honey." I wasn't talking to her, "it means you were destined to be together. You are a true match, to find one another after the trauma you've had is amazing, it was fate." I don't believe in that crap.
The smell of food wafts through the air causing my stomach to growl. Tyler dumps a pizza box in front of us and keeps one in his hand. He places a pepsi in my hand like I'm a child. "Tyler she needs to lay off the caffeine." Mom scolds.
"Well, she likes it, I will do anything to get her to eat right now. I know she won't eat without a drink." I smile on the inside, he knows me too well. The chill of the drink in my hand makes me shiver. Flynn moves his arms around me to open the box, "Texas BBQ for my best friend, cheese and tomato with sweetcorn for my sister," he informs as we see the half and half pizza.
"Man, this is why you are my best friend." Tyler is still mad the way he exaggerated the best friend bit trying to make a point. Flynn moves me slightly so I'm facing forward not curled up into his chest. Flynn grabs one of his slices and brings it to his mouth. I rest the back of my head on his shoulder. Mom and Tyler look at me with so much expectation. Flynn mumbles his appreciation.
"Can you get her to eat or what?" Tyler growls. Tyler sits on the foot of the bed opening his pizza. He takes a slice and offers the box to Mom. She pulls a chair closer to the bed and takes a slice for herself.
"Keep your hair on, Bro. I'm the one that's been in a coma, I'm starving." Flynn doesn't mean anything by it from his tone. He's being gentle with Tyler trying not to provoke him. "Ri, please eat something."
"I'm not hungry," I whisper. They keep watching me with pained expressions. They see me as breakable, which I do feel like it but I feel like the freak in a circus.
"Bullshit Riley! I heard you stomach growling. Just eat, don't be difficult." I bring my knees to my chest hugging my legs. "Ri, come on." I roll my eyes. "Please," he begs. He sighs and picks up one of my slices and brings it to my lips. I turn my face away. "Fuck," he groans. He drops the slice on the box and turns my body to face him. He strokes my cheek, "Why won't you eat?" I shrug. "Tell me," he insists.
"I feel out of control," my eyes meet his burning gaze. "You could disappear, I could be dreaming. I. . . My stomach is doing back flips." I lean into his hand.
"I'm not going anywhere. This is real, if you don't eat, I could lose you, you've lost weight in days." He peppers kisses over my jaw and cheek causing me to laugh. Only Flynn could get me to laugh in times like these. He persists with the light ticklish kisses.
"Flynn," I gasp and he briefly kisses my lips. He turns me back around and puts one arm around my waist holding me to him.
"Now eat you crazy girl," he whispers in my ear, "I'd rather eat you though," I squirm and pick up a slice of pizza. I shove half the slice in my mouth so it's crammed full. I chew loudly opening the bottle of pepsi. Once I finish my mouthful I drink some pepsi. I shove the remaining slice in my mouth.
"You're looking better, sweetheart." The nurse says to me. I continue to chew.
"I ain't sweet and I ain't got a heart," Well mostly true, it's letting me down anyhow. I shove more food in my mouth.
She laughs as she does her checks on Flynn, "You warned me," she continues to laugh and they all join her in laughter. Flynn and I finish the pizza together and I feel really stuffed. I turn over laying on my stomach with my head resting on his abs. Flynn strokes my hair and pulls the blanket further up my body. I rest my left hand under his gown feeling his abs with my hand.
"Don't.leave.me." I whisper.
"Never," he promises. I shut my eyes and focus on his soothing hand stroking my hair. I love it when people play with my hair. "Sleep, Ri." It doesn't take long for the darkness to find me.
I wake with a jolt again, I reach out but I can't feel anything. "Hey, sis, calm down," his hands place on my shoulders and I fight him off me.
"Get off," I cry. "Don't touch me," My breathing is rapid and my heart is racing. I scream and multiple hands are on me and I thrash even more.
"Honey, calm down." Tears stream down my face. He's not here, he's not here. I open my panicked eyes. "He's gone for a scan honey, he will be back shortly." I shake my head, he's gone.
"Ri, calm down." My eyes shoot to Flynn's voice and he's slowly walking back in with the nurse supporting him. "I wish you would stop crying, I hate it." The nurse helps him walk back to the bed and he carefully climbs back on it. "Hey, come here." I shake my head. "I'm sorry I left but I needed the scan so I can leave today."
"You promised," I shake my head again, "I thought you were gone again." My tears dry up but they always seem to when Flynn is around. His hand cups the back of my head and he pulls my head to his neck.
"I'm sorry okay? I'd just like to go home, you'll be better at home too. You're so restless here and you've slept for 24 hours. I tried to wait for you to wake up but you were out of it. I'd rather sleep in my own bed with proper food. I'm not going anyway, Ri, I promise." I nuzzle his neck smelling his scent.
I hear the sound of the pill box again, Flynn's fingers hover in front on my lips and I open my mouth. He slides the pills in and I swallow them. One of my favourite times of day when he gives me my tablets. I don't see it as a horrible thing, I see it as an intimacy thing with Flynn.
"Is he being discharged soon?" Tyler asks. "I can't wait to fucking get out of here." Flynn wraps his arms around me burning me. He leans back against the sitting upright bed.
"Yes, Tyler. Anyone would think you didn't like me the way you're keen to get out of here. I'll ask the doctor to come round to do final checks before his discharge."
"You know that isn't true. You're the one good thing about being in here." Tyler groans, "Fuck sake, if I get one more message from Jesse or Nathan I'm going to knock them out. Anyone would think they are Riley's friend not mine."
"What?" Flynn asks.
"They want to know when Riley is back seeing as we are three days delayed. Anyone would think I'm witholding some rare diamond or something."
"I can't wait actually," Flynn admits. "I'm waiting for Riley to tell them all to fucking do one." Flynn moves the hair off my face.
"Your language boys is atrocious," Mother scolds. It's another hour or so until the Doctor came around to do Flynn's last checks. He is dressed and ready to go and all discharge papers signed.
"Do you need me to carry you again, sis?" I shake my head. My head is clearer now, I've slept and I know Flynn is okay. I stand up off the bed and start walking out the room. Flynn slides his hand through mine. Tyler leads the way whilst Mom walks behind us.
Flynn walks so much slower than normal and he's very unsure of his footing but he continues to hold my hand anyway. "Are you okay?" I ask looking up at Flynn.
"Sure, Ri, I'm just a bit more fragile than normal," he leans down to my ear so his mouth is only inches away. I feel his hot breath against my ear and neck and I hold my breath. "I'm hoping you'll ride me tonight."
I bite my lip, "If you're lucky." I whisper so only he can hear me. We continue to walk out of the building and I freeze when the cold air hits me. Flynn stops and looks down at me. "What?"
"I er, I'm going to walk." I try to release my hand from Flynn's grip but he only holds tighter. "Flynn, I can't. . . It's raining. Please don't make me."
"Ri, it's okay. Tyler has got this, right bro?" Tyler looks back at us and nods. I shake my head, I can't I'm more aware now. "Ri, please. I need you as much as you need me. Please," I shut my eyes and suck in a breath.
Flynn groans as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, "Flynn! You'll hurt yourself," I don't want him getting anymore poorly because of my fear.
"Oh shh, Ri! You weigh next to nothing at the moment. I'm not letting you walk home and I know you won't voluntarily go." His slow steps hold strong as he carries me towards the car. I don't struggle in fear that he may keel over.
When we reach the car he slides me down his body and he traps me against the car and his body. I look into his burning black eyes, "Please, Flynn. Don't make me, I'm scared."
He strokes my cheek moving my hair from my face, "You have nothing to be scared of. That drunk driver is locked away, baby. He can't hurt you." I screw my face shut. He opens the back door of the car, "In, Ri." I suck in another lung full of air and I slide into the other side so Flynn doesn't need to walk around.
Flynn slides in and Tyler reaches around and gives me Rosie. I smile and pull her to my chest. Flynn slides his hand around me and pulls me closer to him so I sit in the middle next to him. He reaches over me and clips my belt in. My body shakes and I hold my hands out like I'm praying again leaving Rosie in my lap.
"What are you doing, Ri?" I don't look at him or reply. I catch Tyler looking at me in the rearview mirror.
"She was like that for hours bro after the accident. She wouldn't move from that spot. Well she didn't move from where she was put but the hands were always like that."
Flynn slides his hand between the gap of my hands and it fits perfectly like it's the missing piece of the puzzle. I look to Flynn and cock my head at him whilst he looks from my hands to my face. I can see the pain in his beautiful eyes. "This has affected you more than I thought, hasn't it?"
"The guilt before," I swallow. "Is nothing like the pain of thinking I lost you. I thought I cared that he died at the time. The pain of losing you is far worse," I whisper holding his gaze.
"I told you, you aren't going to lose me." I keep his hand between mine as I try not to think about the driving.
"Tyler," I whimper. I know he will be driving extra careful but doesn't stop me worrying. I keep looking at Flynn's face and he concentrates on the road. I replay the accident over and over in my head. My heart beats frantically as I hear Flynn's distressed screams in my head.
"I know Lee, I'm going five miles per hour slower than the limit. Just calm down," I rest my head in Flynn's neck.
"No," I whisper. As I hear Flynn's warning again. "No," I hate this. It was hard enough before. Flynn starts to gently rock me as my fear spikes.
"Movie afternoon?" Mom suggests. "Flynn needs rest and Riley needs to get her heart rate down."
"What about your heart rate?" Flynn asks. I don't answer him, my jaw is too tense to respond. We know my heart lets me down, it's nothing new.
"Her heart rate was very high when she was admitted. She was in shock, it had decreased but not to normal. You weren't around to help, the Doctor's decided it would be better for her to be at home and rest. She wouldn't cooperate taking her meds."
"How high is very high?" Flynn growls.
"It was erratic but it reach 150 at one point." Mother informs.
"Fuck," Flynn curses. When Tyler pulls up outside the house I quickly undo my belt and scramble out over Flynn. I need out of this bloody car.
When I'm out of the car I face Mom, "Can you sell this shitty car already? I hate it, I will never drive so I don't need it. And if I did, I wouldn't want this car." I leave them outside whilst I head in the house and into my bedroom. How am I supposed to handle two hours in a car to get back to Duke?