Saving Her Lost Soul

Chapter 14

I've showered and cleaned my knuckles. I'm brushing my teeth and looking in the mirror whilst I dread my birthday tomorrow. I've had a great night with my family but I've already told them I don't want any gifts. I threw my last presents away without opening them last time. My parents thought I'd like a going away present for college. Well, I didn't long story short.
I rinse my mouth with mouth wash and head to my bedroom. I lay in bed for hours not being able to sleep. I think I've become too comfortable sleeping next to Flynn. My phone pings and I grab it from my bedside table.
FLYNN- My bed is cold without you. X
ME- Too bad, at least you aren't cold.
FLYNN- Come here then. X
I get up taking my phone with me this time. I walk down the hall to Flynn's room and open his door. I enter and place my phone next to his. "I was hoping you'd come in here sooner. I've missed touching you," he says sleepily. I climb into bed and he lifts the covers and pulls me closer to him as I face him.
"I didn't know if you'd want me too. I'm sorry about today."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. He's lucky I left him alive. Why were you with him anyway?"
"I wasn't with him. I was minding my own business when Elise Parker the bitch of the town blocked my path. She started saying shit to me. She caught me off guard and she slapped me. I took her down, no one does that to me and gets away with it. Brad pulled me off her and pulled me away. I'd never hit anyone before but I've got into a lot of fights since then."
He holds my hand and looks at my sore knuckles. "Bitch," he agrees.
"Oh, that wasn't her. Although I did punch her a good few times." He frowns at me, "I punch the wall on the way there."
"Why?"
"Because I had to. The mention of Brad had those memories swarming back. I couldn't stop thinking about the drink. I was so close but to see the pain on my mother's face. I have made her age, all the worry and I only saw it today because I can feel. I didn't want to disappoint her. She was my best friend before."
"I'm glad you didn't go off the rails. I'm proud of you," he kisses my nose and I giggle. "To see him holding you like that from across the field. The way he pushed you to the floor, my legs were running to you before I'd really register what happened." He closes his eyes, "All I can see is him hitting you and forcing himself on you. I couldn't stop Ri, I don't know how I stopped myself from killing him." I stroke his cheek trying to comfort him.
He opens his eyes and reaches over me, "Well, it's officially your birthday. Happy birthday, baby." I glare at him, "What? Don't do birthday's either?" I shake my head. "Well, I got you a present anyway. So you'll have to suck it up."
"Flynn," I warn. He ignores me and leans over me and I hear the drawer open. He comes back to me laying in front of me with a small jewellery box in his hand. "Flynn, no." I try to push the box away but he holds his ground.
"Please baby. Just open it." I groan and take the box. I slide the box open and my heart aches when I see his gift. It swells like it's growing for him. My eyes take in every detail of the bracelet. It's a silver delicate chain with pink diamonds scattered in a perfect heart shape pendant. "Turn it over," he whispers. I turn the heart over and the engraving reads,
My lost soul
Love F. A x
It's perfect and I love it. He gets the bracelet from the box and clasps it around my right wrist. He kisses my burn scars and I giggle. He pulls me on his lap as he sits up. "Thank you," I whisper struggling to get the words out.
"You're welcome. You have my heart and I wanted you to know your soul isn't black. It's pink, it's a beautiful colour and I'm showing you the colours like you said." I grin and nuzzle my nose on his.
"I--," I choke. Please, I will myself to say the words.
"You don't have to say it baby. I want to hear them so bad but I want you to want to say them. Writing it on my hand today was enough for me." I look down into his eyes, I didn't know if he understood my palm writing or not.
"I want to but it's hard." I say and I rest my forehead on his. "Flynn. . . I . . . love.you." I struggle finding the air in my lungs. His lips claim mine soft but dominate. I groan as his tongue toys with mine and his piercing glides across my tongue. I love that thing. I pull away and he frowns at me.
"What's wrong, baby?" I can't breath as I rest my head on his forehead again.
"I need to tell you, I need to confess my sins. I can't constantly live in fear knowing you'll leave me if I tell you my secrets. I can't truly let you in until you know. I don't want to hide any part of myself. I'd rather you leave me now than later." I grip his neck like he's going to disappear.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise nothing you can say will make me love you any less." My heart is beating out my chest, swelling as it pumps.
"Okay, it all started December last year. He started hanging out with me. I was sucked into his charm. And boy was he charming. He was always exactly what I wanted him to be. Christmas day he asked me to be his girlfriend and I was only too willing to accept. He made me fall ass over tits for him." Flynn stays silent whilst I tell my story but he's holding me, supporting me.
"He was one of the cool kids of the school. I was amazed that he was giving me any attention. I mean I wasn't unpopular. Tyler made sure of that before he left. I had my friends and my brother. I was pretty happy, Tyler loved him. I'd bring him home every day after school. He won over my parents too." I take a breath.
"He was attentive, we were always together. I told him I loved him in February. It was pretty sweet, he'd got me an eternity ring to express his love for me. By March everything was changing. He would hang out with my Dad when he came over and not me. He sweet talked my Dad to buying me car but he would drive it until I passed me test. My Dad went all out and everything. Fricking Porsche of all things.
"He could sweet talk my Dad into anything. He started hanging out with the richer kids of the school. My Dad's rep opened up doors for him. When I started to withdraw from him he grew obsessive. He wanted to hold onto the power, the money. April 5th was the first time he hit me and I allowed it. The fear of losing him was worse to me than him hurt me." I shudder and Flynn holds me tighter. "I withdrew from my friends because he started to control every single thing I did. If I hung out with them without his permission he'd freak.
"I couldn't tell anyone because they loved him. To the outside world he was sweet the perfect boyfriend. April 19th was my Dad's work do he was my plus one. One of the waiters there hit on me and he flipped out. He punch him and broke his nose. The waiter pressed charges against him but my Dad got him off the charges. That night. . ." I suck in a breath but it doesn't satisfy my needs.
"He sweet talked my father into stay with me in my room. He'd been drinking and he forced himself on me. I was still a virgin and I wasn't ready. He held me down and covered my mouth as he spoke softly to me. He said if I loved him I would let him do it. Well, I did let him not that I had a choice. It wasn't the last time we had sex but all the other times were consensual. I think he was too drunk the first time and he didn't use a condom but I was too scared to do anything about it during and after. I carried on with my life in our relationship. He was controlling behind closed doors but loving me in public.
"He wanted my life, he wanted the rich life with a name of importance. My parents were helping with my driving lessons. I was ready for my test. I was supposed to take it May 15th. May 2nd I was at his house and my Mom was outside waiting for me. I got a facebook notification, I was tagged in a video by Elise Parker. It was a sex tape of me and him. He'd secretly recorded us and I was horrified. I confronted him about it and he laughed it off. He said it was all a joke, the whole thing. He saw how innocent I was and he wanted a challenge. He said it was easy he enjoyed taking my virginity.
"I slapped him but he only hit me in return. I knew I was stuck, I knew there was no way out. I ran outside and my mother was stood outside the car. I jumped into the driver's seat with tears flowing from my face, he always made me cry. My mom quickly ran to the passenger seat. I started the car and went to pull away but he'd already got in the back. My Mom was shouting at me. He was shouting at me desperately trying to get me back on side. My eyes were blurry and I didn't see the water on the road as I turned the corner and the car skidded and we crashed. The windscreen smashed and a piece of glass sliced into my stomach. I can still hear my mother screaming my name when we were skidding out of control.
"I lost a lot of blood and I passed out at the wheel. I woke in hospital and the doctor told me I was pregnant and I miscarried. I didn't even know I was pregnant. They said my womb was badly damaged and although it wasn't impossible to get pregnant again it would be rare. I lost my heart that day, I'd always imagine kids running around, my mother being the affectionate grandmother and I ripped it away from her. I was told that my mother had lost her hand. It was broken badly and although they did surgery to save her hand the surgery didn't work. Her hand went black like my soul.
"I lost myself that day. A couple of days later Mrs Webber came in and told me that he was on life support. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt and his body suffered major damage. She had to be escorted away from me as she screamed and shouted at me. She blamed me like I blamed myself. I threw a fit and had to be sedated as I ripped my stitches out. He was soon declared brain dead. I killed someone. I withdrew from my family, from life. I loved him and I didn't care about the abuse. He knew I loved him that's why he could play me. I resorted to overdosing on the pain meds the hospital gave me. I didn't want to live anymore.
"When that didn't work I resorted to alcohol. Nothing seemed to kill me off. I was admitted into hospital for alcohol poisoning in June. I guess with all the alcohol abuse I built up a tolerance for it. I died my hair, changed my clothes and by mid-June I was fucking around trying to block out the memories. I never sobered up and I resorted to drugs. The drugs were different to the vodka. I didn't have to work so hard to block things out. I was completely numb and I would do anything. I started a fire at my house and I burnt all my shit. Even that damn teddy bear that I loved. I put my hand in the fire to try deal with my guilt. Nothing truly worked.
"They told me a week after that that they enrolled me at Duke. I flew off the rails and resorted to self harming. I didn't care what happened to me. I don't even remember how they got me to Duke I was too intoxicated to remember. It was easier to be away from home. I could drink myself to oblivion and I'd get no judgement. There were parties all the time and Tyler didn't notice how bad I was. I blocked everything out, my old life. The stupid naive girl, I couldn't connect with anyone. I didn't need them. I never told them what he did to me but everyone saw the video. Even my seventy year old neighbour. They all judged me but they never to this day knew the monster he was.
"I realise now it wasn't love. It took me to feel again to know that. I was a scared little weak girl that needed him. I loved him once but that faded and merged into insecurity. I was blinded by him and his controlling ways that I hadn't noticed. I couldn't let anyone close to me in fear of being hurt. I let him in, I gave him my heart it was my fault."
"No baby, it wasn't your fault. You can't control the weather, that could have happened to the best of drivers. You were only learning, you hadn't had the experience to know how to handle the car on slippy roads. He got in that car, he didn't put his seatbelt on. In my opinion it was karma hitting his ass."
"I hate what I did, I feel so sick." I rest my head in his neck as he rocks me side to side. "You made me feel Flynn. You burn me when he made me icy. You're the only one since him that I've had sober sex with. I could never be sober having sex until you. I want to give you all of me but it kills me. Faith and trust broke me."
"You never have to let anyone touch you again. I won't let anyone touch my lost soul. I'll never hurt you like he did. You should tell your family everything. Maybe it will bring you closer together again. It could help you deal with this. Please tell them about your heart. I'll keep your secret but Tyler will kill me if he finds out I've kept it from him."
"Maybe. I never cared for my life since it happened but now I'm sober I don't want to be apart from you. I don't want to die and lose you." I feel like I should be crying but no tears come.
"I won't let that happen baby," he pulls my top over my head and I lift my arms. He pushes his boxers down and he moves my shorts and panties out the way to give him access to my entrance. He pushes me on to him and I bite his neck and he growls. "Nothing can seperate us now, baby. We are one," he flexes his hips and I start to move up and down creating friction. Letting him love me with his thrusts and me showing him my love with each movement. I move my lips to his and his tongue invades my mouth. He's claiming every inch of me.
He's marking me as his own. Ridding me of his scent and replacing it with his own. Filling me with his love and not his. Every gesture has me seeing lots of different colours in my safe haven. He is fixing me from the inside out and his touch is burning me from outside in so there are no parts left untouched. "Shit, I'm going to come," he grabs my hips but I push him off me. "Ri you need to stop," his voice panicked.
"Please this is the last thing to rid me of him. I need you to overpower him in all ways. Please Flynn. I know I can't get pregnant, I feel it in my gut. I just need him gone from my body." I beg and Flynn rests his forehead on mine thinking it over.
"Fuck," he loosen his grip on my hips and lets me move. I sigh with relief when he is granting me my wish. "Be my girlfriend Ri, admit you are mine," he growls.
"I'll be your second girlfriend. I am yours and you are mine." I say breathlessly but I can breathe. I can breathe freely with him.
"It won't be forever baby. She's nothing to me and you are everything to me and I love that you gave me you on your birthday." I push deeper and harder onto him and I gabble his name into his neck muffling the noise as he pushes me into my orgasm. Flynn flexes his hips and stills as his come burns the dirt inside me and heats me up. "Holy Shit," his pulsing sends me higher and I lose all my senses and he supports my weight. I'm lost with Flynn Archer and I feel like a weight as been lifted.
I want to stay in this place forever. I've admitted it to myself. I love Flynn Archer and he loves me. I want him to love me forever not just for now. I want to grow old with Flynn and that's scary. I've found my true soulmate and I'm going to do what I can to keep him.