Remembrance.

Day One

"No!" Simmons screamed as she sat up. She began to pant heavy and had some trouble breathing. "Fitz." She whispered and shook her head.

She hadn't gone through pain like this since her grandfather passed away when she was 15 years old. She heard footsteps and her eyes glanced to the door.

Skye.

Jemma tried as hard as she could to keep the tears in but that plan was failing very quickly and she finally gave up. "Simmons!" Skye yelled and she ran into her bunk. "He..I..We."

Skye shushed her and Simmons quit her protesting as she knew she would never figure out the words. She let some tears fall as her friend remained hugging her.

~'~

She struggled to peel open her eyes as they were practically glued shut. When Skye left, she spent the whole night crying. She knew as much as she shouldn't, she had to.

It had been 2 days since the incident and Jemma had been going crazy. She was restricted to seeing Fitz until they solved his diagnosis. But, Simmons wasn't there to help determine anything; she wanted to SEE him and hold his hand. There was no science here.

She removed the covers from herself and casually sat up. She was still in her pjs and she just didn't care. Her hair was a mess though, so she threw it in a ponytail and exited her bunk.

As she entered the "main kitchen" and "living room," she spotted everyone. As much as she wanted to crawl back into her bed and cry, she forced a slim smile. "Good morning everyone," she said, trying to sound as chipper as she usually is. "Hi Simmons, how are you?"

How was she? Oh just fine besides that fact that she was falling apart and she felt like someone was slowly breaking her into pieces, one by one, inch by inch. "Fine," she managed to say as she opened up a cabinet. It revealed tea bags and hot chocolate packets. She grabbed a tea bag and her cup that she recently washed.

She filled it with hot water and put it in the microwave to heat up, she didn't feel like using a kettle this morning. She turned around and it was revealed that everyone was staring at her. She stopped in her tracks and gave them a simple, "what?"

They all shook their heads and she returned back to making her tea. She made her way over to her usual spot and sat down. Coulson approached her and sat down too, a good distance from her.

"I spoke to one of the doctors yesterday about Fitz." She sat up a little at this. "And?" "And he's still in the coma but his brain activity is normal. They will be allowing visitors in 2 days." She sighed. 2 days? Without Fitz? There was no point in arguing, plus she barely had the strength too.

"Thank you, sir." She said, trying to sound grateful. "I'm sorry, Jemma. He's being punished." She cringed a little, she was only comfortable with Fitz calling her by this name. She nodded and he stood.

"He's down there, whenever you're ready. Just rotting. He deserves to feel guilty." He left the room and she just
stared down at her tea cup.

~.~

Maybe taking her anger out would be a great way to cope. She was hoping it was. There it was, the door. She slowly approached it.

She typed in the passcode and turned the doorknob. Her stomach grew queazy as she walked down the steps. It was certainly very cold down here.

As she reached the last step she noticed an almost opaque wall and a tablet on a chair. She picked it up and read the screen. Disengage Opaque. The wall faded and there he was.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down. He must've heard the trigger because he lifted his head. Probably taking notice to who was standing there, he jumped up.

He was very skinny, but was still very tan, just as much as when they first met. There was stubble on his chin and his stare was cold. "Simmons."

"Shut up, Ward." She cut him off. "Do you know what I've been going through for the past few days? Do you know what you did to me? To-" "Is he?"

"Alive? Yes, but barely! We found a way out, but I'm sure you knew that or else you would've put a bullet in our heads when you had the chance. I..I just can't even explain to you how painful it is, I haven't seen him since I saved him. Nothing could break anyone more, not even you. You ruined our lives!" "I gave you a second chance!"

She jumped. She began to grow dizzy, so she sat in the hard chair in front of her. "I love him." She whispered but she knew he could hear her because the room was dead silent. "I know," he said, sitting back down on his bed. "And that's why I couldn't kill you and him. You never told each other how you felt. I couldn't rip that away from you, so the pod was the only choice I had."

Coulson, Skye, and May were watching on the camera screens 2 stories above. "He's manipulating her, feeding her lies!" Skye called out and went to walk out the door. "No," Coulson stopped her, "He's not. Plus, she won't give in to him."

Simmons looked up at him. She wasn't gonna crack. "Look, I know I ruined your lives," he stated, "But at least tell me how it all happened." She couldn't deny it, she wanted him to know the pain she went through.

"When we were down in the pod, I woke up to Fitz laying up against the wall. His arm was in a sling, he had broken it during the fall. He told me that he'd been up for hours, calculated the distance we were underwater. But he said I looked peaceful and he couldn't wake me up. Time passed and we eventually ended up on opposite sides of the room. Me, staring out the window, taking in the beauty of the water. Fitz, staring at me."

She smiled, now she knew why he had stared at her like that. Ward just looked at her, taking everything in. "We talked about what we'd become in our next life, and what we may have been in our previous life. And then, a glorious moment. We figured our way out. We would blow the window in and swim out. We set it all up, as quick as possible. Then, came the time. I was ready, but Fitz had another plan in mind. He handed me a bottle and told me there was enough pressure in it for one breath but it should get me up to the top. I told him there were two of us and only one breath. Of course, he'd done the math but he wasn't going to leave me down there. We argued and he told me that there was no discussion, I was taking it. I argued with him and told him I wasn't going to leave him, but you know Fitz." She chuckled and sniffled. A tear escaped her eyes and she finished telling him everything.

"I asked him why he was making me do this because he was my best friend in the whole world. You want to know what he said Ward? While you were up there, attempting to take over S.H.I.E.L.D with your physco mentor? He told me that I was more than that but he couldn't find the courage to tell me. He said to let him show me." She looked at Ward, dead in the eyes. "I had no time to process it, so I did what anyone would do. I hugged him, tighter than ANYTHING in this world.

It broke me. Knowing what was coming. I kissed his cheek, then his temple, then his forehead, his other cheek, and his jawline. He told me we had to hurry and I pulled away. For almost a whole minute we just stared at each other. He smiled at me and hit the button. I screamed harder than ever in my whole life and took the breath. I found his body against the wall and I swam to the top with him in my grasp. Next thing I know we're being pulled out of the water, and then everything went black."

She wiped away the many tears that were now falling down her face. Ward re-adjusted himself and stared at the ground. "I'm so sorry, Simmons." "I know," she said, standing up.

She walked to the stairs and stopped, turning to face him.

"You may be sorry, but I will NEVER forgive you."