the truth will out

21. No Longer Mine

It's the last day that I can say this. Or atleast it's the last day I can say this about one particular man. It's scary but I'm also ready for this part of my life to be over, I'm hoping once it's official i will feel the weight off my shoulders. I check my outfit one last time in the mirror, I'm wearing a black pantsuit with heels, my hair straightened.

It's October 2005, a Sunday to be really exact and my court hearing is today. Or ours I don't know. But this will be the last time I'll be able to say I'm married, married to brad pitt.
We made the last final arrangement and settlements last week; deciding that neither of us wanted the house anymore seeing as Brad and angelina are moving somewhere else, I would leave plan b (our production company) whilst brad stays on, and we would both get the cars we drove the most so I get the range rover and brad gets the smaller sportier cars along with the motorcycle.

"hi" I hear a voice from behind as I'm walking down the never ending corridor that leads to our court room.
I turn to see brad maybe three paces behind.
"just go ahead" I say to Natalie "I'll be two minutes." she nods and carries on walking as I turn to look at brad.
There's an awkward silence filled with Brad shuffling his feet around and me rearranging my bag on my shoulder.
"how's angelina?"
"how's work?"
We both go to break the silence at the same time.
"work's good, a bit slow but we're starting the press tour soon" I answer first, smiling awkwardly.
"good good.... And angie-angelina" he corrects himself "she's good too"
He seems awkward talking about her with me, well more than he has done the past couple of times she's been brought up.
There's another awkward pause where I know we're both thinking of all the rumors swirling around us in the media about him and angelina being pregnant. But I know they've been around for over a month now and she's definitely not showing so I know they're not true. Plus I know brad would tell me if she were, I know he can be cruel sometimes but I'd like to think I know him better than that.
I look into his eyes as he goes to say something then appearing to change his mind he tries to disguise it as a cough.
I study his face for a second, wondering what he was going to say and if either of us are going to bring up the rumors but before I can say anything else I hear a voice call my name from down the hall. I turn to see Natalie beckoning me over.
"ok well I'll see you in there I guess" I sigh turning back to brad, nerves engulf me as we exchange an awkward one armed hug and I turn to walk away. I can't help but wonder why it's so awkward, the last time I saw him I was confident and slightly cold with him but now it's as if neither of us have the energy to keep up the persona.

"I hereby state that jennifer joanna aniston and William bradley pitt are officially divorced" and with that her hammer knocks on the desk sharply, echoing around the room. I stare straight ahead not quite ready to move for fear my legs will give way. I take a deep breath, my lip trembling slightly as I can feel Natalie's and brads eyes on me.
The word divorced echoes in my head, everything else sounding muffled.
I look over at brad who's getting his coat on, the man I once loved more than anything in this world and now it feels he's just a stranger. I can no longer say I'm married, no more "my husband", things are going to be slightly more difficult now because I'll need to be careful about what I'm saying as the press tours draw ever closer.

I quickly leave out the back, hiding my face from the paps and driving off as quickly as possible. I curse myself for not listening to kristin and having someone else drive me today.
It's a miserable day, the skies are gray over LA, rain drizzling down as if mother nature is matching the weather to my somber mood.
I turn the radio on as I drive onto the 101 freeway, instantly regretting this choice as creep by radiohead fills the enclosed space. My eyes close momentarily as they sting with tears.
Memories flood my brain from the last 7 years which now feels like it's going down the drain. The first dates at each others houses, the first time we were seen together as a couple at the radiohead concert, when he proposed in Portugal, him crying as I walked down the aisle, all the surprise birthday parties. All lost. He's no longer my man, he's another woman's. I miss him so terribly but I feel so badly because I'm dating vince whilst yearning for another man; the exact same position brad was in 2 years ago.

I don't even remember pulling into the driveway as I get my bag out the passenger seat and lock the car, walking towards the door knowing I look dreadful, my eyes puffy. Luckily my crying ceased though.
As I shut the door behind me I finally take in the scene infront of me.
There's a small circular dining table that's been placed near the living room, covered in a white cloth with a bunch of roses laying atop.
I walk forward a smile creeping over my face as I see vinces back turned to me at the stove.
I place the bag down, vince hearing the sound turns around and smiles cheekily.
"what is this?" I smirk walking towards him.
"I thought I'd make a little dinner tonight, not so much to celebrate" he says quickly "just too....comfort I guess"
"thankyou" I whisper, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him.

That evening we shared carbonara and a bottle of wine before walking onto the beach and sharing another bottle. Momentarily all thoughts of the divorce and mine and brads situation have been erased from my mind, but I know deep down tomorrow morning will be the worst...