CheckMate (A Luke Castellan fan fic. OC CHARACTER)

Thousands

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Pain. Pain was all I felt. My entire body was shaking and on fire. I was in a body of water. My mind started clearing and I could hear voices. I was trying to open my eyes but I couldn't.
The pain steadily grew and grew until I was whimpering like a cat. Water was splashed onto me. "Babygirl can you hear me?" It was Will. I suddenly became aware of me being naked and in front of me others. I shakily moved my arms to cover myself. Every move was painful and I let out a small scream.

"Raphael can you hear me? What hurts?" I steadily opened my eyes. Where was Luke. "W-W-Wheres Luke?" I mumbled. He called for Luke, who ran in a second later. "Love Love Love. What's wrong?!" He rubbed my cheek. I gripped the side of the tub and sat up. "E-E-Everything.... h-hurts." I whispered. Will went over to the counter and grabbed a thermometer. He held it in my mouth until it beeped. He showed it to Luke who raised his eyebrows.
A sudden wave of tiredness hit me and the pain just blew away and disappeared. I started to fall back and Luke caught me. "Love are you okay?" I nodded slowly. "Tired... pain... gone. I'm...." I started falling asleep. "Tired." I closed my eyes and either passed out or fell asleep.
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Lonely. All I felt was loneliness. A pair of arms was around me and I all I could think about was going in the bathroom and cutting myself open to the bleeding point. The urge was compared to nothing I've felt before. It was like if I didn't I would break apart and explode. As of on cue, Luke grunted from behind me. I tried to maneuver out his grasp but he held me tighter. "Mmgggh stay." I rolled my eyes and jumped out of his grasp and to the bathroom.
I had a sweater on and underwear. I closed the door behind me and turned the light on. I quietly rushed through the cabinets and drawers until i found my super extra hidden stash of razor blades. I grabbed one of the death blades in my pale hands. Before I could do anything I rushed over to the shower and turned it on.
I took off my underwear and stepped into the shower. Letting the scorching hot water hit my body I turned so my face hit the water and drug the blade across my arms. Four, nine, twelve, thirty, forty. Forty cuts across my arms, thighs, and shoulders, even a couple on my stomach area. The blood washed down the drain and the hot water burnt my skin and made me feel dizzy and burnt.
Did anyone really love me? Was I alone? Why am I still here? I should just kill myself. No, I should run away. Then nobody would have to deal with me again, forever. They wouldn't find me. They wouldn't care. They would give up. I'm going to do it. I'm going to run away. Leave everything.
A buzzing sound entered my head. It was the connection that Nico made.

Stop. he loves you, you are wanted. I will come over there and stop you. Do not. Raphael I mean it.

Get out of my head Nico. Or I swear to god.

No! Raphael you can't do this. I won't allow it! People in this world care about you. You can't just go driving off a cliff into the sunset like Bonnie and Clyde. Will, Luke, and everyone loves you. Please Raphael. I'm begging you.

I cut the connection and I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and properly cleaned my cuts. A small knock on the door startled me and made me jump. "I'll be there in a minute Baby. I just got a shower." I know me relapsing was bad and all that shit but I needed too. I finished wrapping my arms and slipped my sweater back on along with my underwear.
I walked out of the bathroom and Luke was leaning against the doorframe yawning. I climbed into his arms and tucked my head in his shoulder. "Love you're scorching hot. What temperature did you have it on?!" I reached his hand up the back of my shirt and felt my skin with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "For what Love?" He hugged me tighter and I tried not to wince. "I-I relapsed." I whispered. I cried harder. He rubbed my back.