The Insider Ghost Ship: She Said, He Said

CHAPTER 11: She Said: About Dealing with Their Situation

The weekend was fast approaching, and it would mean that Song Hwa would spend another night with the guys. But given the current state she and Ik Jun were in, she was apprehensive about the upcoming band practice. If seeing him again and being treated coldly by him as she had been for the past five weeks, she was leaning on passing on it.

This is getting serious...I need to put an end to this....

Then that would mean they would have to talk, face to face, heart to heart, by themselves. That was the only way they could clear the air between them and put an end to this terrible state of silence and pretention. But how, when and where to start?

She was going over her notes of outpatients and scheduled surgery when her phone beeped. It was a message from the social services personnel mediating for Jeong Won's Daddy-Long-Legs Program.

She and Jeong Won had not finalized their arrangements regarding the matter. When he informed her that he wanted her to take over for Daddy-Long-Legs as his replacement, they had not found the time during their hectic schedules to talk about the details of the proposed transfer. She was busy preparing for her move to Sokcho, and he had his hands full with his patients and his scheduled priesthood interview, not to mention fixing things up with Gyeo Eul. But he did not push through with the interview, and the next thing they knew, he and Gyeo Eul were dating, and are now officially a couple.

If Jeong Won was no longer leaving, she had no need to fill in for him. They really had a lot to talk about. But before she was able to dial his number, he called her. They agreed to meet earlier during that weekend and go to the band practice together.

Jeong Won was already waiting for her inside the restaurant and waved at her upon seeing her as she entered the premises. She saw him and treaded her way to his table.

"Wae?" She asked instead of greeting him, as she sat down on the other side of the table, so as to face him. His smile was so big and wide as the Han River, she could see it from miles away and his face was beaming so bright it was like an aurora.

"Geunyang..." He answered. "I'm just happy to see you."

"You're always happy to see me. You're the happiest one among the four of you whenever you see me...."

He smiled. That was what she had always believed and told herself. Whenever they meet, she could see and feel how happy he was spending time with them-with her. That was why his answer caught her by surprise, not because she was wrong, but because of what he seemed to know.

"That's not true."

"Mwo? Wae? Aren't you happy to see me just now?"

"I am. But honestly, I'm just always second happy when seeing you. Nobody can beat Ik Jun at that."

"Ya, let's not go there, jebal...."

"It's true. If he can read my thoughts, I can do the same to him. He's happiest whenever you're around...."

She cocked her head, drew a heavy sigh and gave him a forced half-smile.

"That's why you shouldn't have left us for Sokcho," he continued with a playful child-like voice, slouched on his seat, his hands clasped on the table, pouting his lips like a boy about to cry because of not getting the toy that he wanted.

She smiled at the sight of him. Jeong Won was at it again, using his honey-dripping sweetness to charm the ladies. If he used it to pursue her, she would have fallen for it.

They talked about the Daddy-Long-Legs Program arrangement and settled on shared responsibilities. Since she was in Sokcho, it would be too much of a work for her to manage it solely. And since Jeong Won would not be leaving anymore, they both agreed that he would still be the manager, and she would be the assistant.

They still have at least half an hour to spare before the band practice. Jeong Won suggested that they should leave, but she was apprehensive, and that did not go unnoticed.

"Wae geurae?" He asked.

"Anda...." She answered, hoping for him to believe her white lie and refrain from asking her more questions.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

She nodded. Yes, of course she could. He was one of the four men not related by blood that she trusted the most. But this time, she was just not up to talking about her current situation with Ik Jun.

"It's Ik Jun, right?"

She closed her eyes and released a heavy sigh. Could she hide anything from him?

Aah, jinjja. Is it really that obvious? Or was it me that's too obvious?

She opted to remain silent. She did not want to vent out her frustrations about herself nor about their situation on him. He would rather talk to Ik Jun first. That would be the most rational thing to do, since it was between the two of them. Deep in thought, she just stared at the table, fiddling her fingers, avoiding looking at Jeong Won as possible.

"Araesseo," he said, breaking the silence. "If you're ready to talk, I'll be here. You can call me anytime."

She nodded, staring at her fingers while fiddling them. "Gomawo...For understanding."

He smiled. "Just hold on. And trust that God wants the best for you. You can ask Him to enlighten you, so you'll know what to do."

She looked up at him for what he said and smiled. Yes, she could always do that. She nodded at him, and somehow felt a little embarrassed because she had to be reminded of God's power and ability to help her.

They left the restaurant at seven in the evening and headed to Seuk Hyung's house. Once again, she would have to face Ik Jun and endure the pain of the situation that she was mostly responsible of dealing to herself.

I wish, even just for tonight, to be emotionally invincible.