The Insider Ghost Ship: She Said, He Said

CHAPTER 34: He Said: About His First Love

Fidgeting in front of his computer, Ik Jun kept on typing even after his phone alerted an incoming message. He did not want to derail his train of thought, so he ignored his phone even after another alert. Two messages were already being put aside. Upon the third alert, he knew he should take a look.

The first message was from Jeong Won, asking him to come over for lunch in their office. The second one was from Nurse Han regarding an update on a post-op patient. And the third was....

I'm only three blocks away from you. Hope we can have coffee or dinner together. My shoot finishes at six tonight.

Go Ara...Uh, ye. I owe her one.

Yes, he owed her one. He remembered how he stood her up to be with Song Hwa at the diagnostics clinic. And now, he was going to do it again.

Mian. I have surgery at five and it could take four hours at the least. Maybe next time.

Arasseo. Hope your surgery goes well. See you soon.

He decided not to text back.

He would be lying if he would say that his relationship with Go Ara was not interesting. The opposite was exactly how he would describe it.

Sure, dating a celebrity and having her as your girlfriend was exciting—it was an ego boost for him. And Go Ara is one interesting lady. She is smart, funny and dedicated to her work, much like he is. When she called him after she saw him in Good Doctors, he actually thought of dating her—just to see how it would be like—even before she implied about her motives.

Only, that was how far their similarities go. What really bothered him much was the fact that she would not eat—whether she would not want to, could not or should not, he had no idea. Besides that, he believed she was addicted to sleeping pills, which would explain why she was seldom conscious whenever he was with her. Later on in the relationship, he felt that they were from the opposite poles of the globe, and those poles would never ever meet. If they were such, he saw no future with her, and it would be futile to stay together.

If dating her gave him an ego boost, their separation was a total decrement to it. Why would it be not? He was the one who got dumped. Of course, it would be devastating...and embarrassing...especially when he later found out that there was a malicious rumor that the reason why she left him was he is a glutton for eating a lot of everything, and he does not sleep. It took a couple of months before the gossip died a natural death and everything reverted back to normal for him.

But during these turbulent moments of his romance with Go Ara, someone was always beside him to support him and give him encouragement. Perhaps she was not the best person to do it—there were always the guys—but he knew she wanted to be there for him. She might not have talked much about the situation, but just her presence, for him was more than enough.

When Hye Jeong entered his life scene, Song Hwa was once again on the sidelines, ready to cheer him on and give the necessary boost. When he became a father, she shared his joy of the moment as if she were the mother. When he got divorced, the guys might have thought she did not care, but he knew for himself how great her help was to him, she herself might not even be aware of it.

That was why he had always viewed Song Hwa as an escape. Whenever he was troubled, stressed, confused or tired, he just needed to see her, spend time with her, be close to her, or even just hear her voice. That was all. And everything would be alright for him again.

Song Hwa might not know her worth to him, but he definitely knew how much—she is priceless. Incomparable to any woman that had become a part of his life. Irreplaceable by any woman who would still be a part of it.

Only she herself could compare and replace her.

For him, Song Hwa is an integral part—not just of his life, but also—of his entire being. Perhaps even of his whole existence.

Literally half of his life, Song Hwa was there, and he had grown accustomed to it. Unlearning to live without her might take another lifetime.

Thinking about the women in his life, he felt overwhelmed and stressed. He needed to see Song Hwa, but he would have to wait until the weekend band practice or drive for two hours to Sokcho. Of course, it would not be possible for the time being, so the next best thing was....

He dialed her number. He just wanted to hear her voice. That would suffice.

"Ya...Oraenmaniya." She answered.

"Ne...." Was all he said. He had nothing to say anyway.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Ajik anda."

"Nado."

"Go eat lunch, then."

"Neodo."

"Ne...I'm on my way to Jeong Won's office. They had food delivered."

"Arasseo. Momjoshimhae."

"Neodo."

And that was it. He felt...destressed. Energized and charged for the next twelve hours, at the least.

He jumped off his chair to go to Jeong Won's office for lunch. He was surprised to see him eating lunch all by himself.

"Where's Jun Wan and Seuk Hyung?" He asked.

"Uh...Jun Wan is not answering his phone, Seuk Hyung said Min Ha brought lunch to his office so he'll be eating there." Jeong Won explained.

"With Chu Min Ha?!" He asked with a large smile on his face.

"Aniyo...He said she just brought lunch...."

As they were talking, Seuk Hyung came in with his own food.

"Ya! Why are you even here?! You should be with Chu Min Ha!" He exclaimed.

"Ani wae? I want to eat with you guys." Seuk Hyung answered mildly.

"Arasseo, come in and sit down." Jeong Won invited.

As they were eating, he could not help asking Seuk Hyung.

"Ya, why do you have to kick Chu Min Ha from your lunch date?"

"Naega eonje? Jigeum? She just brought me food, but she said she already ate."

He looked at him, scrutinizing every bit of him.

"I think you like her...Ani...I know you like her."

Seuk Hyung ignored his statement. Jeong won turned to him, then to Seuk Hyung, and back to him, puzzled, as if asking what did he miss.

He had talked to Seuk Hyung about Min Ha, and their future as a couple looked bleak. If it were only for her, their story would have a happy ending. But since it would also depend on him, they would all have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter.

As for Jeong Won, he was having the time of his life with Gyeo Eul. Needless to say, they were basking in the love they had found with each other.

And him? Yes, he might be at a standstill, but he knew where he wanted to go if ever he would continue moving. No doubt, it would be towards Song Hwa because every marker, sign and signal of his life points to her.

There was no doubt about it.

Song Hwa is my chots sarang, geurigo majimak sarang.

Song Hwa was his first love, and his last love. Others might have come, stole his heart, and held it for a while, but his love always belonged to her. And he hoped that her love also belonged to him.