The Insider Ghost Ship: She Said, He Said

CHAPTER 26: He Said: About 'Fixing It No Matter What'

After hanging up, Ik Jun turned to his son who was looking at him, waiting for an update. As disappointing as it was, he broke the news to him.

"Aunt Song Hwa is very busy today, so maybe we should visit her some other time."

"Appa, Aunt Song Hwa is always busy, what if she gets sick?"

"I know, right? That's what I wanted to tell her. Maybe you should tell her that. Perhaps she'll listen to you."

He was planning on driving to Sokcho with U Ju that day, spend a few hours just the three of them, and head back to Seoul that night. The next day, he was to bring U Ju to Changwon to his parents, and perhaps, he too, could stay there for a day or two. But for today, plans had to change because Song Hwa was 'busy.'

After having Egg Drop sandwiches, they went home and colored some of U Ju's new coloring books. After tucking his son to bed, he stayed by his side until he was asleep, before he got up to prepare for their trip to Changwon.

Staying in Changwon for a day or two was not something he was actually looking forward to. But once in a while, he knew he needed to unwind, take a break, and relax from it all. That was why he thought of paying Song Hwa a visit with his son.

Apparently, Song Hwa's life in Sokcho did not differ much from her life in Seoul-she was still strictly 'busy.' She was supposed to lessen her workload, but obviously, that was not happening as of now.

It was only nine o'clock in the evening, and he could still call her if he wanted to. If she was still busy, she would answer the phone the way she did earlier. And he would take that as a sign that she did not want to talk to him-at least at the moment.

Whatever was happening between us, I need to fix this. I will fix this...No matter what.

Then, that early morning at the diagnostics center came back to mind. He was supposed to tell Song Hwa that he would be willing to accompany her to her doctor's appointment and in picking up her test results, but he was called back to the hospital that night of the dinner with the squad. He decided to just go instead, even if he had to stand Go Ara off and refuse her invitation for coffee.

I'll fix it no matter what.

As confident as he was when he said those words that morning, he alone knew, that deep inside him there was a tinge of doubt. Just like what Song Hwa said in response to that, though hearing those words might make someone feel good, they should not be saying it to their patients, because they did not know what might happen next.

Just like now. He did not know what might happen to him and Song Hwa. This was why, same as before, admit it or not, he felt that tinge of doubt. If it was only up to him, this would be an easy task. But the thing was, it was not. Song Hwa also had something to say about it, and it could be different to what he was expecting-or even wanted-to hear.

Even so, he decided to call her. Just to know how she had been doing....

Okay...Just to hear her voice....

He dialed her number and eagerly waited for her to answer it. On the sixth ring, the sound that he was longing to hear for quite a while, reached his ears.

"Ya, Ik Jun-ah..." Song Hwa answered softly.

"Annyeong..." He replied with the same softness in his voice.

"Mwo? I'm typing something on my computer so I'm putting you on speaker phone. Just talk, okay?

"Arasseo...."

After being on speaker phone, he was not able to talk much anyway, because Song Hwa did it for him. She had so much to say, it seemed that she was not aware that she was monopolizing the conversation. It did not matter to him, though. Hearing Song Hwa's voice was all he wanted to do at the moment. He could do the talking the next time he calls her.

Amidst the clattering sound of her computer keyboard, he listened to Song Hwa's almost incoherent updates on her life in Sokcho. She was multitasking, so it did not matter. All he wanted was just to hear her voice. And he was grateful for it.

"Ya, Ik Jun-ah...are you sleeping?"

"Uh...Aniya...Wae?"

"You're too silent I thought you've fallen asleep."

"I just wanted to know what you've been up to lately, so I'm letting you talk."

"What about you? What have you been up to lately?"

I wanted to treat myself earlier by having coffee or a meal with you...But you were busy.

"Uh...Not much. I'm bringing U Ju to Changwon tomorrow, and maybe I'll stay there for a couple of days."

"Jalhaesseo. You needed to relax too. You've been working hard. A short break will do you a lot of good."

"That's why I'm having one."

"You should always have time for such breaks. We're not getting any younger, we all needed it."

"Ara...I just wish I could still have coffee with you anytime I feel like it."

There was a lingering silence after that. He, then realized he should not have said it. If Song Hwa was not comfortable being reminded of his confessions, he could avoid talking about it. He would even erase it from memory, if she asked him to do it. Just as long as he could remain friends with her, incite her to allow him to stay in her life, and make her stay in his, he would gladly do anything she wishes.

He was thinking of how to undo his last statement, when Song Hwa spoke.

"We could still do that...I'm having coffee right now. Do you want some?"

"Geurae...Mulronijji. Jamshiman...."

He stood up, still holding his phone, and headed to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He could hear her voice on the other end of the line as she continued talking about her life in Sokcho.

He sat back on the couch, stared at the dark sky with quite a few visible stars, sipping his hot coffee, while listening to Song Hwa. The next thing he knew it was already one o'clock in the morning. They had been talking on the phone for at least four hours by now. He never expected this call to last this long, but he was grateful it did. It could mean that he and Song Hwa were beginning to revert back to their normal relationship before his confessions.

And for now, that was all he wanted. If she had someone else in her mind and heart, as long as they could remain friends, it did not matter. He just wanted her to stay in his life-as a friend, as a lover...whatever. Just...stay.

If talking to her for hours like this was a sign that they would remain friends no matter what, he would gladly acknowledge.

If that was the case, this night could not be any better.