The Insider Ghost Ship: She Said, He Said

CHAPTER 39: She Said: About Taking Action

It had been a week since Seun Bin's birthday dinner party. She had not seen Ik Jun since he left the morning after, and he had not called or texted her since.

She tried with difficulty to avoid focusing her mind on herself, Ik Jun and their current situation. If she ever did, she would spend the entire day doing so, and no work would be done. It was like a severe migraine attack—temporarily debilitating.

Wae? What is happening to me?

Exactly. What is happening to her? And should she even be feeling like this at forty? Was not she too old for this?

She needed someone to talk to. She decided to call Jeong Won.

"Bappa?" She asked when he answered.

"Not much. Wae?" Jeong Won replied.

"I wanted to see you. Can we meet?"

"Geuroji. Eonje?"

"Naeil gwaenchanni?"

"Geurae. I'll be there at seven."

"Aniya. I'll come to you."

"Andwae. I'll come to you. Don't argue."

"Arasseo. Geureom geunyang kidarilke."

After she hung up, she began drafting her story and lines for Jeong Won tomorrow. She needed to be prepared. If she would not be, they could end up wasting precious time and effort.

She knew she had to be talking to Ik Jun since the matter was between them. Everything that had happened in the span of four months—from his confession during that rainy morning, the NS dinner, when he followed her on the day she moved to Sokcho, what he did when she got drunk at Seun Bin's dinner party, and how he had been relating to her—were all pointing to the same direction where he wanted them to go.

Not to mention the way he treated her for the past twenty years, and the ring....

Omo! The ring! Did he see it?

She was so preoccupied by so many concerns, the ring slipped her mind. She does not always wear it, because she did not want anyone of the boys making a big deal out of it. That was why she deliberately wore it backwards. For the past twenty years, only Jeong Won was able to see its design while she was wearing it.

What if he saw it?

Then the more reason they needed to talk. She was certain that he would want to know how she got hold of it, how long had she been wearing it and why she wears it that way.

But he never mentioned anything about it...I guess he didn't see it.

Which was a good thing for her because she can focus between the two of them, instead of recalling every detail of that night of her birthday in 1999.

But before that....

She wished for tomorrow to come already.

Jeong Won arrived at seven as he promised. He brought dinner for both of them. They sat face to face on opposite sides of the breakfast counter, as they ate and talked.

But the purpose of her request for Jeong Won was addressed later over coffee.

As she sat down on the opposite end of the couch after putting the coffee mugs on the table, she noticed Jeong Won looking at her rather satisfied.

She was preparing her speech mentally, but his knowing smile she just could not ignore.

"Mwo? Wae?" She asked of him.

"Malhae." He answered. "Deutkko itta."

She released a heavy sigh. She was not aware that it would be harder than she thought. She had prepared for this, but now, she was tongue-tied. She did not know where to start. Her silence was wasting both of their precious time.

"Ik Jun iji?" He asked.

Again, she released a heavy sigh and gave him a bitter smile. The last time she and Jeong Won talked about Ik Jun concerning her feelings for him was six years ago, the night before he wed Hye Jeong.   After that, she never said a word about it again, and promised herself to put everything behind her. It was clear to her that she and Ik Jun were not intended to be together as a couple. That was why she accepted the next best thing—being a best friend. And for the past six years, she had played the role of someone who had moved on pretty well. Nobody suspected that she was just putting an act—even herself.

But Ik Jun's confessions brought life to her already dying hope of finding a significant other. This could be her last chance with him. If this does not happen now, it probably never would.

At her age, she would never want to be with anyone else other than Ik Jun. Yes, the other boys were there for her, but only Ik Jun made her realize and feel something that the others never did—that she is worthy of receiving the same amount of love that she could give.

The boys were there with her during her happiest moments, but during her turbulent times, Ik Jun was the most visible. He had seen her in her best and worst and he had accepted it all. Amongst the four, he was the only one who had seen her drunk, crying her heart out, devastated and emotionally destroyed. He helped her through them all, and despite being talkative, he is discreet and kept them all to himself even if she did not ask him to.

He never fails to make her laugh. His liveliness revitalizes her more than a can of Hot 6. His positivity is like glitter powder that shines and rubs off to anyone he interacts with. His constant energy enlivens her like a shot of epinephrine. His passion for life is so contagious, you would want to live forever as long as it is with him.

"Gokjeongma." Jeong Won said to comfort her. "Everything will be alright."

"I wanted to talk to him, and maybe tell him how I feel?" She said almost decisively.

"Do you really want to do that?"

"I think I should. Don't you remember that women pursue him, not the other way around?"

"That's because he didn't like those women that much. That's their way to get to him. Besides, where are those women now? They're out of his life. It just shows that they're not that important to him. He's not afraid of losing them."

"Ajik...I owe him both an explanation and an answer. He has been waiting for it. I think it's the right time to give it to him."

"Ne. But I think it would be better if you just wait a little bit more."

"What if someone returns?"

"Nugu? Go Ara?"

"You know?"

"He told us that he came back to his office with you and Go Ara in there."

She smiled as she remembered the look on Ik Jun's face upon entering his office while she and Go Ara were engaged in a staring fight.

"You think I should wait a little longer?"

"Ne. You have endured for six years, what's a few days or weeks more? Just trust in God, he has His own ways. Sometimes we don't understand it, but we should always remember that He knows best. He will reward you in a way you never even imagined."

Jeong Won was right. Actually, she had been enduring for twenty years. When she got hold of the ring, she had been waiting for him to make a move. And when he did make a move four months ago, it was her who chickened out because of fear of not meeting his expectations.

Now she must muster all her courage, strength, patience and love to get through this and trust the Highest Being that it would turn out best for all of them—for both of them.