His mother sits across from me with her fingers laced together and one leg draped over the other like a porclien doll. I must admit from the moment I laid eyes on this women she intimidated me, but now, seeing all of her beauty focused in one spot; intimidates me more.
With Adam's mom she immediately
hated me, I could not have done more to show her that I loved her son and she automatically shut me down.
But thinking on it now, maybe it was for the best.
Her eyes go from the tea set in front of us and then back to me, smiling.
"So, honey when did you meet my Matthew?" I swallow.
He never told her about me? I mean, yeah we were never really official but to him I was everything, or at least I thought. I would have at least expected that he would of dropped the hint of who I was, besides me just besides but I'm just...that girl Matty knows.
"Oh um, school." She finished the last of the tea, sitting her cup down.
"You went to NY state?"
"Yes."
"And what class did you meet him in?"
"Well, I met him through a friend."
She pauses and smiles apologetically at me.
"You don't have to be ashamed." She smiles.
"What?"
"He told me about you. Adam and the party and the parties before that. I just want you to know that you don't have to-I'm not going to judge you because of that. I want to start clean. Love is love and being with someone else will not make it anything less than love, okay?"
I stare.
I don't know what to say or to do.
"Yes." I say slowly.
"Now," she leans forward and pats my leg. "I suspect Matt took you to lunch already so we will just have to find something else to do now won't we?"
"Yes."
"Come on". She says grabbing my hand.
Matty
"Can I ask you something?" I ask, looking over at Lou, his hair falling in his face; a little me
"What?" He chews his thumbnail.
"Is it wrong for me to keep secrets from her?"
"Your asking your 16 year old brother this? I don't think that that's a good idea."
"No-like. Seriously."
"I don't know depends." I sit my hands on the steering wheel and look out the side of my window. Now all I see are the trees circling our whole car.
"It's about her ex- but I know she'll hate me you know. That's why I set the whole mom and dad shit up. I saw him with her outside the mall before we drove here and I thought it was over."
"What's the big secret?"
"I can't tell." I start the engine and pull out of wherever the hell we are. Driving around here is weird but intriguing at the same time I want to drive to my old friends house and see what the fuck their up to but most of them are off still in college or have families. It makes me think, why didn't I just fucking give Jocy the ring like I planned during the Halloween party. Oh that's right, because I got hit in the face.
I drive out of the parking spot and head back towards town.
"How has mom been taking the whole dad thing."
"We'll he's cheating on her so- not good but you know her, she doesn't say anything she just lets it happen."
"Is that where he is right now?" Louis shrugs and stares back out the window. I know that he doesn't want to talk about it because of last time but I haven't seen them in a while and I really want to know more about my shitty father.
"You're girlfriend's hot." He chuckles under his breath. I lean over and punch him right on the shoulder blade.
"Don't talk about her like that."
"Like what? Man you're whipped."
"I'm not whipped."
"You're fucking whipped." I stay quiet and drive forward. I wonder what she's doing right now. My mom probably has her drunk off her ass and is showing her old photos from when I was a baby.
"It took me a long time to get her."
"What?"
"I'm saying, I'm not whipped I'm just- happy for once. It took me a long time to get her and now that I have her I'm going to do everything I can to keep it that way."
"You romantic asshole."
I groan. "Fuck you, louis."
Joclin
I like his mother a lot- I love her really but all I can do as I lay in this chair next to her is think of him. Think of what he would do if he was here.
Matty has a way of presenting himself that I've never seen and I love that about him. He can wear a plain white shirt and black skinnies and he still look like an angel to me. When Adam would stay at home with just us two he'd always have to dress up, he never just relaxed.
Matt is something else, like a whole other entity.
His mom leans back, looking up and pulling her glasses down.
"So, how long are you staying?"
"I have no idea." I reply.
"Matty will probably want to leave soon, right?" Looking at her from this angle I can see that she's frowning.
"Ummm..?" I don't know what to say. On the ride up here he seemed to have wanted to be here just as much as I did. Maybe even more.
"It's okay. I understand. I just wish he'd visit more. I haven't seen him since he graduated high school, a mother can only worry, right?"
"Trust me he's doing great."
"Yeah, I guess he is." There's a long pause- too long and I don't know what too say. " It would be nice if you'd stay for a while. His father is barley here so I can only spend my time with Louis and I feel like he's starting to despise me."
"I'll talk to him." She raises up in her chair like a bat out of a cave.
"Would you do that?"
"Of course." Before I know it she's on me, hugging me and kissing me like she's known me my whole life.
"You're a sweet girl." She wipes her eyelashes. "I'll be right back. I'll get something for us to drink." She disappears into the house. I can hear her shuffling around and the sound of a door opening and just as it slams my phone rings.
It's Adam.
Adam. Adam. My mind starts to spin at him name and at first I think I'm dreaming until the ringing almost becomes too much to bare. I know I shouldn't answer but I do.
"Joclin?" Hearing his voice brings back all of those horrid things he did to me the night he bailed us out. The way he pinned me against the wall and threatened me and the way Matty swooped in and protected me. "Joclin? I know you're there so just say something!"
"I-"
"What?"
My throat is locking up, I can feel the saliva creeping back up and it restricting.
"Joclin? Come home- there's something wrong."
