Matty is under me when I wake up, his hand pressed against my arm, ready to pounce at another nightmare. I smile down at him, at his bruised face and swollen eye.
"Damn," I mumble, tracing every lesion I've caused him and lean down, kissing them. He jolts awake and looks straight up at me. "I really fucked you up." I laugh. He squints, pressing a finger against his temple.
"Yeh, you did. But that's okay- you can beat me anytime you want. Just as long as you take me back." His lip quivers and those brown eyes twinkle, and I think he might cry so that makes me cry and all I can do is lean into his body and cry.
"What's wrong?" He asks panicked.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, what's the problem?"
"I'm gonna hurt you- I can't do this to you anymore." I bite my lip, he pulls my hair from my face and smiles.
"Actually it's the other way around- I'm the one who started all of this. I nearly got you killed I should be the one feeling shitty not you."
"I don't know-"
"You don't have to know, but you have to be mine. I spent months thinking you hated me, wondering when I was going to see you again. Fucking wondering if you left the country. I can't lose you again I don't know what I'd do.
"When I showed up at Adam's house I was thinking I'd see you happy with him, smiling and enjoying not having me around. But I heard you scream, I heard you yelling for me and everything inside of me just clicked." His eyes twinkle at the memory.
"And as selfish as it may seem, I was so happy just to hear you say my name- to know that you still needed me. That's love and only love and I can't say how much you mean to me because I wouldn't have a heart anymore."
I look up at him, placing my hand on his bandaged arm. I trace circle around the blossom of blood seeping through.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"Let's get out of here. Go to your parents, or- let's just go." He smoothed the hair away from my eyes and chuckles. A laugh that radiates his whole body.
"You really want to go back there!"
"Yeh." His eyes flutter up, looking at the ceiling, he bites his lip and smiles.
"I'll see what I can do, okay?"
"You always make it happen. You saved my life."
"Well you saved my life one too."
"Not true." I smile.
"So true."
Three years ago
"I don't have it!" I say for the fifth time. "I said I'd have the money next week. Can you give me until next week?" I plead.
Jace looks down at me, his hand rearing back and colliding with my jaw and I fall back, the wind getting knocked directly from my chest. I curl away from them trying my best to regain some vision because all I see now is blood.
"Matty I believe we said today, no?" He steps forward sending his boot into my rib. "I want my fucking money! What don't you understand? Hmm." Another kick and I'm on my side spitting up pools of blood.
I see his foot rearing back, ready to kick me in the face but...someone comes running. I see combat boots and faded jeans.
"Get the fuck away from him!" Joclin? What is she doing here? "Are you deaf? Get the fuck away from him!" I turn on my side to get a better look at her. Oh fuck, what is she doing. If something happens to her I'd blame myself.
"Joclin go!"
"Joclin?" Derek laughs, "oh so you know her?"
"Get away from her!" I roar.
"And what are you going to do about it?" He takes a crippling step towards her, the panic sets in. "God she's pretty. Ain't she?"
"You fucking creep." She spits, "I will not hesitate to kill all of you." She goes for her purse and he jumps toward her, her arm flings up.
She's aiming a gun at him.
"Woah!" They all shout and Derek starts to back up.
"I will shoot!" She screams.
"Calm down," Jace puts his hands up and backs away.
"Let him go and I will."
"Okay." He steps aside and I can see her combat boots running over to me. Her perfume wafts over me and her arms entangle me, all the while her gun still pointing up at those fucking dicks.
"We're gonna go. If you follow us I will shoot." She kisses my forehead and that's the last thing I remember before I'm in her house, sprawled out on the couch with a bucket of red water and a towel on the table.
"How do you feel?" She asks timidly. Her hands squeezing a towel. "I thought you were dying."
"Where did you get that gun?"
"What?"
"The gun. Where did you get it?" She shrugs.
"Adam's safe."
"You shouldn't have come tonight."
"But I did."
"And you shouldn't have. That wasn't your fight. Do you know what they could have done to you?"
"I don't care."
"I do." I take her face in my hand and push it to mine.
"You're safe. Your alive."
"Thank you. I do appreciate it. But don't do that again." She kisses me, her salty tears coating her lips like lip balm. The front door creaks open and she pulls away, grabbing at the towel. Adam walks in the doorway taking in the sight of me, a pathetic druggie and his fiancé. This wonderful wonderful creature that I'll never get to have. To show just how much I love her.
