Insomnia [Shota Aizawa x Reader] (Rewritten Version)

Chapter 19

A/N: Terribly sorry for the slow updates, life's been assaulting me with pain in forms of depression and anxiety and lack of motivation.

I'm getting better and managed to finish the story... in terms of a draft. Now I just gotta write it out in to chapters and fill out the "insert summer camp and more character development" and "insert more character interactions with them" with actual story :')

Thanks for understanding and hope you enjoy ❤️

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Once all five of you were out of the warehouse, you and Eraser started heading back into the school to get your belongings. The others went along to keep company until you all departed, chatting along the way. Kayama was talking about Ethan's talents and how he did during the activity and game.

"I didn't know you could do that with your eyes," Yamada had commented, a curious look on his face as he nodded to Ethan.

Ethan looked down, seemingly flustered. They were talking about his ability to move his eyes separately, like how actual chameleons could.

"You've seen it? It's really cool!" you jumped in. "He's insecure about it, so he rarely does it."

"Why?" Kayama raised an eyebrow, glancing at Ethan's curled up tail.

You waited for Ethan to respond, to see if it was okay for you to tell them. He nodded and gave you an appreciative smile. You saw Eraser glance at the exchange between the two of you before returning his tired stare as he walked.

"People said that it was freaky and made fun of him for it," you said simply. "He only does that when searching for something or focusing on his surroundings."

"In this world of quirks? How is that freaky?" Yamada snorted. "It's pretty cool! Useful too."

Kayama nodded in agreement, a frown on her face when hearing about the claims. "Don't let them get to you."

You gave Ethan a smile, as if saying "see?" and "I told you so." You've told him similar words before and it seemed that he just needed more people to tell him this. It seemed like these new friends, despite being heroes, helped. His tail uncurled a bit and he gave a shy smile as thanks to them.

You finally reached the classroom with your bag and Eraser's sleeping bag, where he probably puts all his stuff in anyway. Who knows how many inner pockets his yellow bag could have. Might as well be a pocket dimension in there.

"When are the applications due for the students?" You turned to them, remembering the internship lessons today.

"Day after tomorrow," Kayama answered. "I can't wait to see where they'll be going!"

"This year's listeners are one of the most interesting ones," Yamada added. "Wouldn't you think so, Eraser?"

"They're more chaotic than I'd like," he muttered. "But they've got potential. The students last year were less crazy but had to work harder."

The pro-hero teachers talked about the previous years and the students then, while you and Ethan listened in curiously, not knowing any of the students they talked about.

When your group finally reached the exit, both Kayama and Yamada hurried their way back to their own homes, waving goodbye. You, Eraser, and Ethan slowly walked towards the direction of your house. Eraser had told you that he had the keys, and he had wanted to keep tabs on you for a while longer.

"Ethan, do you know what happened between [L/N] and the villain who killed the boy?"

Straight to the point. You frowned. Ethan looked surprised for a moment, then looked to you for your reaction. You shook your head slightly.

"Nope, not really."

"What about the parents?"

"Nope."

"You two seem like really close friends." Eraser frowned. "You've known each other for a long time. You should know something."

You really didn't want Ethan to be involved in this, and you also didn't want to tell Eraser about your past. But you knew Eraser was stubborn. He'd find out one way or another.

You thought about this as the three of you walked. You stopped walking suddenly and the other two looked back with a questioning look. You continued walking again, and only looked up when the three of you arrived.

"I've gotta go," Ethan said. "My shift starts soon." He threw a glance at you worriedly before Eraser nodded to him.

As the two of you entered the house quietly, you took a deep breath before deciding. "The villain mocked me."

Eraser stilled and watched, waiting to see if you'd give a less vague answer. When you noticed his curiosity, you continued. You've been keeping this in way too long. Maybe Eraserhead wasn't the best person to talk to, but at least it'll get him off your shoulders for now.

"The villain told me he knew the child died. He said I was useless, that I didn't do anything. He didn't care that he was caught. Mocking me was just one of the positives that he looked forward to despite his situation, I guess." You made your way to the couch and sat down. "After that I went to go see the parents and how they were doing. I wanted to apologize for not being able to help their child. But they acted like I killed him."

"But if you weren't there he would've killed the boy anyway. And the villain wouldn't have been caught." Eraser's brows were furrowed as he listened, seemingly looking for the right words.

You shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. I'm over it."

"Obviously not," he said firmly. "You still have nightmares. And... words can hurt a lot. I know." He noticed your pursed lips and added, "What else happened?"

"I'm not mentally strong," you murmured. "That's why I have nightmares after all." You let out a bitter laugh. How could he tell that there was more to the story you weren't telling?

He sighed, noticing your hesitance. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. What's the reason for you to trust me anyway?" He left it at that, getting up and uncrossing his arms. Giving one last glance back at you, he started heading for the door. "Nezu told me that since internship applications are due soon, you have your days off until the students come back. They have other things to do to prepare for their internships."

You nodded, appreciating the change in the subject. You weren't sure why Eraser hadn't handed you in to the police yet, or told anyone about it, but it was nice. It was nice that he trusted you despite your relationship with someone that almost killed him, even if it wasn't directly. Well, maybe it wasn't trust. Just mutual understanding and a good grasp of the situation. He was a rational man, you knew. You took a deep breath.

"The parents.... They were grieving and just... on the spur of the moment, they snapped. It was mostly the father, he took his anger out on me. The mother just watched and yelled at me as he hit and kicked me."

"You didn't fight back?"

"No." You hated that you didn't really regret it. "I don't blame them. It was me and my stupid quirk that caused a child's death."

"It was not."

"I relive the scene," you continued, ignoring his words. His words that were correct. "Again and again. The boy dying. The villain's words. The pain the parents caused. I don't know why, it just... happens in my nightmares. And I know it's not because of some quirk since they don't affect me. I'm just... weak and emotional, I guess. I avoid sleeping because of it."

You felt like you revealed just how vulnerable you were to the pro-hero. You wanted to trust him, really. You wanted to trust heroes. Despite that, you hated this feeling of letting others in. You didn't want them to pity you. It made you feel horrible. You weren't that weak... were you?

You didn't want it.