The Love Of A Girl ·C.G.· |The Love Of A Boy Sequel|

•Chapter Twenty-Five•

|Hailey's P.o.v.|

It feels like my whole world is crashing down and I can't do anything but watch it happen. How can someone go through so much pain and still remain strong in the end? I barely could do that alone, I needed him to get me through it. I always was afraid of losing him, but that fear was much more stronger than I had realized. It's not until you're staring death right in it's face until you realize just how terrifying it is. Losing people is apart of life I've done it way too many times. It started when I lost my father, then my mother, Hershel, James, and then finally Beth. You would think I had it down by now, the pain, the hurt, the torture of living without them. But what you don't know about losing people is every time you do or get close to it, it reopens the wounds of before and it feels much much worse. I don't understand why things come to an end or why people are taken from us and even why every place we go ends up getting destroyed. I just want peace and it took me awhile to realize that no place gave me peace, he did. I have peace, because he gives it to me. No matter where our group goes, no matter how safe we think we are, I will only have peace because I have him. That is why I need him so if it's true what Hershel said, that praying works, then I hope to God it works now. I'm scared more than ever and I need him more than ever now. What happened seems like a blur, but every moment leading up to this is burned into my memory, because like I said with us you have no idea how long being safe really lasts.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The day after was exactly how you would expect it. Behind the walls of Alexandria it was quiet. The Anderson family and the Monroe were in mourning. Although Pete was a dick , I felt for the family because he was still a father to the boys. Ally hasn't came out of her room despite Randall's advances, Alexander on the other hand has been holding it together. Either he's trying to be strong for his family or losing a brother and dad so close together has made him numb. I feel for both of these families, because it's never easy losing a loved one, I of all people would know that.

"I'm glad you're okay Glenn." I say as I engulf him in a hug which was too tight given his condition causing him to wince a little. I apologize as I pull away and he nods in response. I look at Maggie and shoot her a small smile before looking back at Glenn.

"So, what happens now?" I ask them. I watch as they glance at each other before looking back at me not saying a word.

As devastating as it is for the people of Alexandria, I can't help but feel like our group took a win. With Deanna distraught and the enemy killed, Rick is able to take a stand as leader...

And that is exactly what he did, because now two days after he is calling on a mission to clear walkers from the quarry.

"Who wants to help?" Rick asks the group.

I raise my hand and step forward but before I could speak Carl pulls me back. "I need you here, you never know." He whispers.

I glance at him while letting out a sigh. I just want to do something other then be on look out...that doesn't involve going to school. I am giving this place a try because besides the people with their secrets, I like being safe. Well the thought of being safe that is. But I also miss being out there and killing walkers, so if I'm able to do something that will help the group and fulfill the need of taking some walkers down, I want to do it.

Once everyone was picked to do the mission everyone dispersed. I walk out of the house with Carl at my heels.

"I know you're getting bored, but you have a job here which is a lot less boring then going to school." He tells me.

I walk over to the pond that sits in Alexandria and pop a squat on the grass. Carl stands behind me and watches as I twirl a piece of grass between my fingers. He's sorta right but all I do is sit around all day waiting for something to happen, but what I want is to be in the middle of the action. I just want to help in a big way. Yes, one could argue that taking watch is helping, but we're older now and I want a bigger responsibility of keeping us safe like Glenn and Maggie. Carl and I both used to be hands on at the farm and prison and we were younger then. Now we're some what older so we should be doing those sorts of things. Perhaps now that we have this "normal" life, Rick wants to start treating us like kids and keeping us out of adult business, but our childhood has already been done and over with.