I'm So Fucking Broken

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                     ~Chibs POV~
"Jesus Christ! Wait a second I'm comin!" I screamed throwing the sheet off of me, heading to the door to yell at whoever woke me up. I ripped the door open seeing Jax standing there with tears running down his cheeks, looking like he'd ran the entire way to my house. "What Jax?! What's wrong?!" I yelled feeling that fucking pit in my stomach, knowing something terrible had happened. "Kat, something really fuckin bad happened. Gemma wouldn't tell me what but we need to get to the scene now." He said with tears still in his eyes. "My Kat?! What's happened to my Kat?!" I screamed feeling like I was going to collapse. I ran to our bedroom to get dressed, grabbing my kutte and rushing for the door. "You good to drive man?" He asked grabbing my shoulders looking at me. "I need to get to her Jax, I don't care about anything else. Ok?" I snarled at him. "Ok." He said getting on his bike. I followed him, us both speeding to where ever she was knowing that I needed to get to her. We pulled up to see a crowd of people around the sidewalk in front of the bar she worked at some nights, I gripped my brake tightly coming to a screeching halt. Throwing my helmet down next to my bike I ran, pushing people out of the way even the medics kneeling around her. "Mo ghaol?!" I screamed seeing her laying in a large pool of blood. I cupped her face trying to get her to open her eyes, but she just layed there completely unmoving. "Sir! Please we need to get her bleeding under control, move!" A man yelled pulling me back for her. "No! That's my fuckin girl, I'm not leavin!" I screamed slamming him to the wall behind us.

"Chibs! Come on man they're trying to help her!" Opie said grabbing me from behind pulling me back. I stood there watching them trying to stop the blood coming from everywhere, ripping her shirt open and trying to get her heart to start again. "Jax I can't fuckin lose her! Look at her layin there, she's fuckin dyin in front of me!" I yelled finally looking away feeling tears running down my face. "She's strong man, she's gonna be fine you know that." Jax said in an attempt to calm me down. I stood there trying to keep myself together and not think the absolute worst, feeling like my heart was shattering in my chest. I heard a lot of commotion coming from where she laid bleeding out on the sidewalk, finally looking over and seeing them putting her on a stretcher and loading her in the ambulance. "What's goin on?!" I screamed running to her side again. "She's stable for now but we need to get her into surgery, before she codes out here again." The EMT from before said frantically. "I'm goin with her, I'm not leavin her again." I said still crying. "Of course sir, you can sit next to her." He said motioning for the door. I got inside sitting on the small bench next to her grabbing her tiny hand in mine, feeling her already cold knowing that wasn't a good sign. "God mo ghaol, what happened to you." I whispered resting my forehead against her hand. "She was attacked as she was leaving the bar, three men were waiting for her when she exited. They jumped her beating her, stomping on her, and she's been stabbed multiple times. A few of the patrons inside heard her screaming and came out to help, but by that time they saw the men already running down the street." The EMT explained still monitoring her vitals. "God!" I screamed holding her hand tighter, kissing it repeatedly.

After we arrived they rushed her into surgery to try and repair the damage, leaving me in the waiting area. The whole club and their families came to sit with me, them all talking about finding who did this and retaliation. "How're you doin Chibby?" Gemma asked grabbing my hand. "I'm so fucking broken." I stated crying again. "We're gonna find out who did this Chibs, and they'll get what they have coming to them I promise." She said trying to make me feel better. "I'm gonna gut whoever hurt my Kat. But right now I'm just worried about her getting out of here alive." I cried feeling like I was dying too. We waited for 3 more hours in complete silence, not hearing any news on how she was doing. "Family of Katia Berkowitz?" A doctor called out looking around. "Aye! That's me!" I yelled getting up and walking to him. "Well she's out of surgery, but she's been through hell tonight. It was alot worse than we initially thought after learning of her heart condition, she flatlined again on the table but we got her back and repaired all the damage. Katia isn't completely out of the woods yet but she's stable and you can see her if you want." He explained with a slight sadness in his voice. "Aye, I'd love to see her." I said quickly. I walked behind him, going to the ICU and walking into a room where I couldn't bring myself to look a the bed. I finally looked up hearing the beeping of all the machine she was hooked to, seeing her gorgeous face bruised and swollen. "Mo ghaol, please wake up. Come on babygirl just open your beautiful brown eyes and tell me you're still in there." I said laying my head next to her on the bed. Kat didn't even twitch, just laid there completely still in her coma like state.

I stood looking down at her, taking my rosary off and laying it on her chest before laying my head back down next to her. I cried myself to sleep laying in the chair next to her bed, waking up when the light coming in from the blinds cast across my eyes. Groaning I finally opened my eyes, looking over at Kat to see her staring at me with a weak smile. "Mo ghaol?" I asked knowing she couldn't respond with the tube down her throat. "Mmm" She groaned pointing at her throat. I ran to the door yelling for the doctors to come in and take it out of her mouth, they came in with all the equipment to do it. I watched her coughing and trying to fight them off of her, pushing their hands off of her knowing she was going to be ok. "I'm fine you don't have to keep fucking touching me." She growled. "We have to check you over and make sure you're ok Katia." The doctor said trying to comfort her. "I'm as fine as I can be after being beaten with in an inch of my life. I'll let you know if I'm not, now please for the love of God stop pushing on my fucking incision Dr. Douchebag." She hissed shoving his hands away from her. "Ok I'll be back to check on you later." He chuckled before leaving the room. "You're definitely gonna be alright." I laughed kissing her forehead. "I'll be ok once I stop feeling like I was hit by a semi." Kat smiled leaning her head up to kiss my cheek. "I love you so much Katia, I'm going to find those mother fuckers and gut every single one of them." I said holding her face in my hands. "I love you with my whole soul Filip. Once you find them I want to help dismember their lifeless bodies." She stated bluntly. "God you're perfect." I laughed laying next to her.

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