"I'm heading home man Kat's finally home and she'll be pissed if I'm not there." I smiled at Chibs as I headed for the door. "She still gonna be there just have one more beer with us." He slurred trying to get me to sit back down. "No man, I haven't seen her in a fucking week I need her!" I smirked at him. He finally understood winking at me as I walked out the door, I got on my bike feeling my phone vibrating. "Hey man, what's up?" I asked seeing it was Opie. "You seen Kat yet?" He asked. "No, I'm leaving now. She's been home for 6 hours by herself, I already know I'm getting yelled at when I walk in that door." I said with a laugh. "Good luck man!" Opie laughed hanging up the phone, I slipped my phone back in my pocket starting my bike. I put my helmet and glasses on thinking about how good it was going to feel to see her, and the look on her face when she saw me.
I pulled into the driveway seeing her truck already there, pulling the velvet box out of my kutte excited to see her face when I gave it to her. "Babygirl?" I asked opening the door and not seeing her on the couch like she always was. Walking down the hallway into our bedroom I still didn't see her, knowing she was probably taking a shower I went back to the livingroom taking off my sneakers and hanging up my kutte. I turned my head looking into the kitchen seeing it in disarray, glass shattered all across the floor, drawers pulled out and cabinets opened. "Baby!" I screamed grabbing my gun out of my waist band. I walked down the hallway toward the bathroom seeing it open just slightly, already seeing blood on the floor I opened it wider. Seeing her laying there face down in a pool of blood, I'd seen enough dead bodies to know she was gone. I dropped my gun slowly walking to her, laying my body across hers as sobs racked my body holding her lifeless form.
I kissed her lips holding her face as I looked down at her just wanting her to open her brown eyes and see them looking up at me. My head fell back against the cabinets as a noise I'd never made before ripped from my throat. I sat there for hours holding her not moving, covered in the love of my life's blood. All I wanted was for her to wake up and tell me this was a sick fucking joke, tell me anything. "Jax?" I heard Clay's angry voice coming from the living room. "I've been calling you for an hour, I know your old ladys home but we've got club business!" He screamed his foot steps coming down the hallway. He took one look at me having to hold onto the door to keep himself from slipping in her blood. "What the fuck happened?!" He asked panicked. "Found her like this." I said through my sobs. "I've gotta call Unser." He said pulling his phone out. Everything else was a blur as the cops started showing up, until they had to take her from me. "No! Get the fuck away from me!" I screamed. "They have to take her now baby." My mom said crying as she tried helping me to my feet. I held onto her tighter trying to keep her with me for just a little longer, even though I knew she wasn't here anymore. "Goddamn it! I love you babygirl." I said kissing her one last time before they took her from me.
All of a sudden today's her funeral and I couldn't remember anything since I'd found her, but I had to bury my baby I had to see her for the last time in my life. "You ready man?" Opie asked me as I buttoned up my black shirt. "Yeah." I said looking at him in the mirror. I rode my bike to the graveyard feeling my heart breaking again, not be able to process that this was happening. "I know you didn't want to be buried babygirl but I had to see you one last time, have somewhere I could visit you, somewhere to come talk to you." I cried over her with everyone sitting around us. "I never got to tell you Kat, never got to tell you how much I needed you. I was going to ask you to marry me babygirl." I sobbed putting the velvet box on her chest kissing her forehead for the last time. After everyone laid their roses on her coffin I watched the only woman I'd ever love being lowered into the ground. I felt the tears running down my cheeks feeling like I was falling as I closed my eyes.
I jerked awake in a panic, in my own bed looking around the dark room feeling the empty spot next to me where she always slept, it was still warm. I heard the toilet flush in our bathroom having no fucking idea what was happening now, as I heard the door opening and footsteps coming back to my room. I saw a tiny frame in the darkness walking closer to the bed, immediately grabbing my gun and turning the lamp on. Kat stood there in her underwear shielding her eyes from the light, and looking confused with her hands up my gun still pointed at her. "Baby what the fuck are you doing?" She asked me clearly scared. "Shit babe, I'm sorry I had the worst fucking dream." I said dropping my gun to the floor, sobbing again. "Whoa, whoa baby what happened?" She gasped running to my side and crawling in my lap. I held her tightly against me moving my hands against her skin, making sure this wasn't the fucking dream. "You died babygirl, I held you in my fucking arms bloody. I watched you being laid into the goddamn ground, you were fucking gone!" I yelled through tears still running my fingers against her warm skin. "I'm here Jax, I didn't die on you. You were shit housed when I picked you up from the clubhouse, and you fell asleep in the truck Ope had to help me carry you to bed." She explained to me holding me tightly against her. "I'm fine baby, look at me." She said pulling my face from her chest kissing me repeatedly. "See I'm right here, I'm whole." Kat smiled at me taking my hands and putting them against her waist. "I've never been so fucking scared babygirl, my heart was broken seeing you like that!" I said trying to catch my breath. "I'm not going anywhere baby, I love you so much! You're every part of my soul Jackson." She whispered into my hair as she held me against her chest. "God I love you Katia. I love you more." I said laying back and pulling her on top of me not wanting to let her go. The whole night I kept waking up to check on her, make sure she was still there, that this was real.
