Letting Her Go?

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"Who the fuck has Katia been talking to all night?" Tig asked me looking over at her talking to a man that looked like he belonged in a band. "Her idiot friend Patrick, she asked if she could bring someone named Pat I figured it would be a chick." I said bitterly knowing that he'd captured her attention without even trying to. As I watched her more my blood began to boil, especially when he brushed her loose curls behind her ear smiling down at her. "Hey Kat! Come here for a second would you?" Tig called over seeing my face change with the affectionate touch he'd given. "Tigger! What's up?" She said her sweet voice so happy. "Who's your friend?" He asked her nudging her arm. "Shit I'm such a fucking asshole, sorry Tig this is Pat. Pat this is Tig one of the guys in the MC." Kat smiled holding the guys arm.

"Nice to meet you man, she talks about you guys all the fucking time." Patrick said shaking his hand. "And the one that looks like he wants to kill me, is Jax my best friend in the world." She introduced us. I shook his hand more roughly than I needed to, making her shoot me a quizzical look at my reaction. "Kitty Kat talks about you like you hung the moon and the stars Jax." He told me with a smile. "Really? And Kitty Kat?" I asked, some of my anger leaving me when he told me that. "A nickname we gave her when she was hanging out with us on tour, and yeah man she never shuts up about how great you are." He replied putting his arm around her shoulders, Kat leaning in to hide her face in his shirt. "You've got the biggest mouth Pat!" She giggled wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Sorry sweetheart." He told her hugging her tightly, making me want to punch him. "You're going to have to make it up to me." Kat replied in a voice that dripped with sexual innuendo. "You know I will." He replied kissing the black curls on top of her head. "I'm going to get a drink." I said rolling my eyes, needing to leave before I acted on my impulse to throw her over my shoulder and knock him out. Walking into the clubhouse to grab a bottle of whiskey, I made my way back out to sit on the picnic tables still with my eyes trained on Katia being held onto by him. "That's making you crazy, isn't it?" My mom said coming to sit next to me. "Yeah it really is, I mean what was she thinking bringing him here?" I bit back. "Baby you've always passed her up for the sluttiest peice of pussy that walked past you, she's been in love with you for as long as I can remember. You just never gave her the time of day." She told me watching Kat too.

I kept my eyes on her as he held her close whispering to her, watching as they sang to eachother dancing around like they'd been together for years. "Lose myself in your sunlight  breathe you in like a sweet sigh, keep me tongue tied if this lasts forever I'll be just fine! You are the rustling of leaves, and you are that honeysuckle breeze. You are the sunlight shine on to me, shine on to me! I think it's time you had pink cloud summer, cause you've gone to long without a smile. I think it's time you found another reason to stay for a while,  you should stay for a while!" Pat sang to her picking her up and making her smile bigger than I'd ever seen her smile before. My heart sank seeing that knowing she was so happy with him, and all I wanted to do was be the one that did that to her and make her that happy. "I can't fucking let her go mom." I said looking down at the bottle in my hands. "You might have to baby." She told me hugging me before she walked away.

I couldn't take it anymore as I got up to walk over to them still holding eachother, needing some sort of clarity or at least a clean break knowing she didn't want me. "Kat, babe can I talk to for a second?" I asked putting my hand on the small of her back. Kat immediately looked up at Patrick for his ok, knowing by the look I had she would be gone for a while. "Go ahead pretty girl, I'm going to head back to my place the guys are waiting for me anyway. Call me if you need a ride, no please just call me anyway so I know you got home ok." He said kissing her forehead with a laugh. "OK be careful! Let me know you made it home safe sweet boy." She replied hugging him tightly. After they let go of eachother I grabbed her hand leading her into the garage, Kat pulling herself up to sit on the tool bench waiting for me to start. "Katia, I don't know what to say to you right now that doesn't sound crazy. I'm just really fucking, I guess hurt that you brought another guy here tonight." I said sparking a cigarette. "Why Jax? You know I would never want to make you feel hurt by anything I do, and if I knew you were uncomfortable with any of it I wouldn't have done it." She told me grabbing to hold my hand.

"No I knew you wouldn't do anything on purpose, I just didn't think you were seeing someone. And I guess all the feelings I've had for you really came to light after seeing you with Patrick." I explained to her holding her face. "Jackson you never gave me any inclination that you felt that way, you always fuck any girl that gives you the slightest notion she's going to sleep with you. And I couldn't just stand around waiting for you to notice me, for you to finally love me the way I always loved you." Kat told me with tears in her eyes. "Loved?" I asked shocked she used it in the past tense. "Yes Jax, I loved you for so long but now I've let go of the feelings I never had reciprocated back to me. Always watching you go back to your dorm with another girl that wasn't me, made me realize I honestly don't deserve that I deserve someone that makes me their first choice." She said letting the tears fall now. "He makes you happy then, you're falling in love with him?" I asked wiping the tears from her eyes. "Yes babe, I really think I am. I'll always love you but I can't wait for you to love me back anymore." She said pulling me in for a hug.

"If that's what you need me to do for you, let you go then I'll do it Katia. I need to know that you're happy and I'm good with that, just know I'll be here when ever you need me." I said kissing her cheek wiping her tears away as I rested my forehead against hers. "Hey babygirl forgot my fucking phone!" Pat called walking into the garage seeing us his smile dropping. "What's going on Kat?" He asked sounding upset. "I just needed to let her know a couple of things, make sure you made her happy man." I said moving from Kat to talk to him. "Alright it just looked like a little more than that, if you guys have unfinished business I don't want to come between that." He said looking mostly at Katia. "No Pat, there isn't anything that needs to be finished between Jax and I. We'll always be best friends and I'm happy with everything we settled." She said making her way to him. "I'm going to go back with you if that's alright babe." Kat told him hugging him still crying slightly. "Yeah of course let's get out of here sweet girl." Patrick told her looking very concerned. "I'll see you later babe, let me know if you need anything ok?" I told her walking past to kiss her head. Watching her walk back to his car and leaving made my heart break, knowing that Kat had made her decision very clear.

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