My Soulmate [ Kirito x Eugeo ]

Chapter Nineteen

Kirito's POV

I don't think I could really feel surprised anymore- everything was just so shocking- I didn't know how to feel at the moment...

The walk back to Eugeo's flat was a blur, and I didn't even remember making my way inside, or the fact we were both already on the sofa, I was too lost in my thoughts to really acknowledge anything.

Asuna had accepted help because of me? She was sorry?

She had done some horrible things to me, but there were times when we worked well together. She was one of my longest, and bestest friends. It wasn't either of our faults when things started to go wrong- but there were things we both could have done to avoid this.

I could have talked to her more, made sure she was okay... we should have talked about Yuuki's death, that was what had left Asuna so heartbroken. I could have forced it out of her, even if at the time she didn't want to, it would of had positive outcomes in the future. She could have gotten therapy early on, and we would still be best friends.

Asuna was never really good at opening up to people, but I knew she enjoyed writing. I remember the day when I suggested she write her thoughts in a journal or diary... she was too afraid people would read it. I knew deep down that she knew no one would read it. Asuna is a good person, always has been, having Yuuki so brutally taken from her had completely messed with her mind.

That's why I don't blame her for anything she did... but I don't forgive her. I don't think I ever will- but I will not keep these thoughts in my head forever. I will forget what she's done eventually... and I'll have Eugeo by my side.

Eugeo... he has made my life worth living. Even though he doesn't realise what he's done. Because of him, I haven't self-harmed for ages- let alone had thoughts about it. He has helped me through the majority of my panic attacks, and I've noticed how careful he is around me.

I have never told him I was sexually assaulted by Asuna, but for some reason he seemed to have caught on... I am infinitely grateful for that. Even if, in the long run, I am one hundred percent okay with the things he wants to do. I love him, every part of him, I love it when he touches me, just as I love touching him. I have never experienced such loving actions before...

It feels as if I've known him my whole life, the way we clicked instantly, it was like magic. Were we ever strangers? I'm not sure we were. That day I first saw him there was something even then, though I didn't know what. I wonder if there's an element of time that allows us to feel a strong love, like an orange glow bursting over a dark horizon. It was light for our eyes only, something to carry us through this life.

Before meeting Eugeo, and all I had of him was the colour of his eye, I knew he'd change my life. At first I didn't know if it would be for better or for worse, but as I got older and more things started to go wrong- I realised I wanted to meet him. I realised he would change everything for the better, that I could smile more, laugh more, and feel the kind of love no one else could offer me.

As if he was reading my thoughts, I felt Eugeo tug gently at the sleeve of my jacket, the action as childish as it was sweet

"How are you feeling?" He asked, a nervous smile on his face.

I was expecting the question, and to be honest I was fine. Yes, it had been scary, but Asuna was my best friend. I knew when she was telling the truth, and the fact that she had actually apologised in the first place was nice. So, yeah, I was okay- and it was relieving to admit that.

"I'm good, just glad that it's finally over..." I sighed, and watched as Eugeo's expression became more relaxed.

"It was a surprise really, I wasn't expecting her to be so mindful... she really did all of this for you, huh? Should I be jealous?" Eugeo gave a warm laugh, and I felt myself returning the action.