You for All Lifetimes (Ferrer Series #2)

Kabanata 25

Kabanata 25

Sasagutin

Pagtapos naming manahimik, naging mabilis ang mga pangyayari. O siguro wala lang ako sa sarili ko. At nagpadala na lang sa kanya. Kasi ngayon ay nakahiga na kaming parehas at... magkayakap.

Yeah, how the hell did we fucking ended up in this position? What the hell, Serene?

Nakaunan ang ulo ko sa braso niya. Habang tulala ang dibdib niyang may damit pa rin, marahan niyang hinahaplos ang buhok ko, habang ang malayang kamay ay hinahaplos naman ang bewang ko.

And god damn it, everything just feels so familiar. Para akong itinapon pabalik sa nakaraan. Like déjà vu.

Paghinga lang namin ang natatanging ingay sa kwarto maliban pa sa ingay mula sa aircon na nakabukas pa rin.

"I know I said that you did the right thing when you said no to the marriage, but..." I trailed. Naramdaman ko ang bahagya niyang pagharap sa banda ko dahil pumatong na ang baba niya sa tuktok ng ulo ko.

"Why did you say no immediately after we broke up?"

He let out a deep sigh before facing his body to me, then completely hugging me now. Oh, how I melt in his arms.

"Because... you're the only one I want to be engaged to... to be married to..." he said in almost a whisper.

"Bakit?" mahina kong sabi. "Bata pa ako no'n. Bata pa tayo. Handa ka nang magpakasal no'n?"

"Well, I wasn't entirely ready to be married that time, but I'm sure as hell I'd be ready if it's with you, Serene," malambing niyang sagot. "Kung hindi ka pa handa para sa responsibilidad ng pagiging asawa noon, I would have been more than willing to wait for you 'til you're ready. Because me? I'm ready for everything as long as it's with you."

Marahan akong tumango at lalong isiniksik ang sarili sa kanya. The warmth of his body is so comforting. I don't want to ever stop feeling him. It's like... my own comfortzone. My safe haven.

"Paano mo nasabi na... tatanggi ako kapag... tinanong mo ako?" I asked.

The only thing that's holding me back from trying us again is Tita Cherish. My fear for her. The fear that she'll learn about us, then try to destroy us again.

And I know that I'm being a coward. That I'm scared of taking risk for him... for us... just because of my step mother. Just like before.

"Where are we going with this?" tanong niya pabalik. Bahagya siyang lumayo para tignan ako.

And I also know that... ny love for him... or if I'm still being indenial with what I have for him... is stronger than my fear. It's bigger than my fear. And I'm strong enough now to face and be with him. Hindi na ako ang batang Serene.

"I just want to know."

Bumuntong hininga siya. "After everything Yvonne told me that day when we broke up, I might be clueless of what Tita Cherish is capable of doing, but I know that I'll only be a burden to you."

"Noong nalaman ko na pinalayas ka sa sarili mong pamamahay, na hindi ka makapag-aral, at nagtatrabaho ka sa mga kapatid mo para sa inyo ni Kael, alam kong wala akong puwang sa mga prayoridad mo. Who in their right mind would prioritize a man when you have a life to deal with? A brother to take care of? A lot of problems and responsibilities on your shoulders?" paliwanag niya.

"At alam kong... hanggang ngayon... gano'n pa rin..."

"Ang tanging nagawa ko lang para sa'yo no'n ay tulungan sina Yvonne na humanap ng bahay na pwede mong matuluyan," dahil do'n ay napatingin na ako sa mukha niya. Parang inaabangan niyang tignan ko siya dahil agad na nagsalubong ang mga mata namin.