All I Wanted (S.W)

Chapter 16

When I arrived at the hospital I went to the nurse sitting at the desk.
"Who are you here for?" She asks obviously not interested at all.
"Matthew Espinosa." I say to her. She tells me what room he is in and let's me through. I quickly walk to his room and walk in. He was still unconscious. I sit in the chair next to him. "Hey Matt." I say quietly. "I know you can't hear me but I just had to talk to you." I say there waiting for an answer, which never came. "I remember when you got me this for my 15th birthday. You told me I had a voice that needed to be shared with something equally as good. Then you gave me this. We tried to write a song that night and it didn't work out so well." I say smiling as I replay the memory in my mind from when he gave me the guitar to when we were sitting in my room writing the song. "We started it off okay then we gave up. The first verse was: You got holes in your jeans
and few in your heart." I say the words to him. "I decided to finish the song but I never told you. I never sang it. Until now. I want you to and I to be the only people to hear the song we started." I start strumming the cords watching my fingers move across the strings.
"You got holes in your jeans
and few in your heart

You don't know what it means to me, to watch you fall apart

Cause your broken and bruised, but I can hold you close.

I'll take you in my arms tonight, just me and you.

Baby in a heart beat, I'll take you with me

I just wanna get to know you you're throwing me off beat so I can't breathe

I just wanna get to show you if we're falling apart

I will fight for your heart I can be your shield I will fight on the field

Baby when our life gets colder I'll be your soldier.
Na na na na na

I'll be your soldier
Na na na na na." I sing softly.

"Just put up your arms, you'll be alright.

Cause the world is like a battlefield, that I'll be here to fight.

I see the scars and your wounds, I'll try to heal them to.

I'll take you in my arms tonight, just me and you."

When I'm singing I keep replaying everyday that Matt and I have spent together. Most were good and there were few where one of us or both of us were in tears. We laughed and smiled almost every second we were with each other. It was a feeling you only get with one person. I sing the chorus again.

"When you're feeling low, I can take you higher.

When the world is cold, I'll can be your fire.

I'll be there, when you need a shoulder

We can win this war,
I will be your soldier."

I look up at Matt who was still not moving but was still breathing. He looked so peaceful yet so hurt and sad. I felt so useless. I should have watched out for that car so he wouldn't be in this room. So he wouldn't be hurt. So he wouldn't have to fight this battle.

I finish the song and look up at Matt. "I told you I finished the song. It may sound terrible because I've never written a song before. When I was writing the song I was thinking of you because it pains me to see you hurt or cry because I know it was something I did. People hurt you and do things to you because of me. And I'm so sorry." I put my guitar up against the wall and grab Matt's hand. "I'm sorry for everything I have done to hurt you or make you hate yourself. I'm so sorry." I look down as tears cloud up my eyes. "You're my best friend Matt. If you weren't here I don't know what I would do. I don't know where I would be. I don't know who I would be. You have created who I am. I couldn't ask for a better best friend." I say as tears pour down my red cheeks.
"Please don't leave me. Please. I need you in my life. I can't loose you. I just can't. I love you so much. Please don't go. Please." I say as my voice gives out. I place my forehead on the bed and cry as I'm still holing Matt's hand.