All I Wanted (S.W)

Chapter 13

Matt's POV
When Nicole comes into her room she's wearing a pair of yoga shorts and a sweatshirt of Sam's. She crawls in bed next to me and lays down facing me. The light was off so she couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. I had to stay strong for Nicole but it's hard when your best friend tries to kill themself. "I know you don't wanna talk about it but I want to help." I say to her quietly.
"It's everything. The kids from school talking behind my back to the girls who abuse me in the locker room." She says quietly.
"Look I know I can't change those kids but I do know one thing. They're jealous because they don't have what you have. You have beauty and kindness and you have real friends. Whatever friends they have are fake. You have people who care so much about you. They have no one. Don't let their jealousy get to you. Don't let them break you." I say to her quietly.
"Thanks Matt." She says and hugs me. I hug her back and don't let her go until I fall asleep.

When I wake up in the morning Nicole was still asleep. It was 7:50. And it was Wednesday. Wait it was Wednesday!
"Nicole! Get up! We have school! Get up!" I shake her until she wakes up.
"Matt I can't go to school today." She says quietly.
"Why not?" I ask her. She shows me her arms and I completely forgot about the night before.
"Okay. I'll skip and stay with you." I say to her hugging her. Nicole slept in my arms which I'm hoping made her feel better.
"We should go do something today." I say minutes later.
"Like what?" She asks me.
"Something quiet. Just the two of us and no one will be around to say anything to us." She thinks for a few seconds then nods.
"Okay." She says as she looks up at me.
"Get dressed and we will leave." I say smiling. She gets up and has to crawl over me. I've been friends with Nicole since 7th grade. There's nothing I have to hide or worry about with her. She quickly pulls out a pair of pants and a black jacket. While she takes off her shirt I look at her a little.
"Matt I know you're looking." She says as she slips on a grey tank top then pulls on her jacket. She then takes off her shorts and pulls on her jeans.
"Ready?" I ask her. She nods as she slips on a pair of vans and we go out to my car.

After about an hour of driving we end up at an open area with nothing but tall grass and the open air.
"This is actually really pretty." She says to me getting out of the car.
"I come up here to think, to clear my head." I say as I lean against the hood of my car.
"Clear your head from what?"
"Drama, family, school, you." I say the last part quietly.
"What was the last part?" She asks me.
"Nothing...just thinking." I say smiling. We both walk into the field and take a few breaths of the fresh air. It was clean. There were no cars around to ruin the air, no distracting smells, just the natural air that we normally don't get to breathe.
"I could just stay here forever." Nicole says looking up at me. I nod.
"Me too. When I can I'm going to come out here and build a house. Me and my family will be living out here. No other people can disturb us, ruin us, nothing can be bad out here." I say to her looking around.
"I bet your mom would enjoy that." She says.
"No not the family I have now. They wouldn't appreciate it. I mean the family I'll start with whoever happens to be my lovely wife. She will get the luxury of living with only the freshest air and the openest spaces." I say presenting the land to Nicole, she giggles.
"Is openest a word?"
"I'm not sure but I just used it." I say smiling. She smiles back and walks over to me.
"Well she better enjoy the freshest air and the openest spaces because I love it. And Matt?"
"Yep?" I ask looking at her.
"If she doesn't appreciate what you're doing for her...she isn't the one for you. And if she isn't the one for you I'll come live out here with you." She says smiling. When she says that my heart skips a beat. I quickly pick her up in a hug and she hugs me back.
"I love you Matt." She says quietly.
"I love you more Nicole." When I mean I love her more I'm not saying it because she said it, I'm saying it because I really mean it. I love Nicole with all my heart. But her heart belongs to Sam.

"We should get going. It's almost three." I say as I sip up from where I was laying on the hood of my car.
"Really? Is so peaceful out here." She says sliding off.
"Yea I know. Let's go." I say and we both get in my car and drive back to Nicole's house.

"Sam's here." She says as we see him sitting on her front porch. "This can't be good." She says quietly.
"Don't worry I'll be here. If he hurts you he won't get very far. He won't be able to hit you at all." I say and we both get out of my car.
"Hey Sam." She says smiling and waving at him.
"Where were you today? You and Matt were gone. I thought you both happened to be sick but now I see what happened." He says to me.
"Sam it's not what it looks like..." Sam cuts her off.
"Then what is it?" He asks angered.
"It-it's..."
"It's something between us two." I say cutting off Nicole this time.
"Why? Is it that you two are hooking up? Because I don't appreciate being led on by you." He says looking straight at Nicole.
"No Sam it's something private. and Matt's my best friend. I tell him everything." She says looking at me.
"Nicole you can tell me anything. But I guess not because I'm not Matt."
"It's not that! It's something that only Matt can know!" She says getting a little upset.
"Why can't I know! Nicole I really like you but I can't take the fact that you can't tell me some secret!" He says almost yelling at her.
"It's stupid Sam. You wouldn't care." She says to him.
"If it's stupid then why can't I know?"
"Because I was stupid to do it!" She shouts as she turns toward him with her back to her front door.
"Then tell me what this fucking stupid thing is! I'm fucking tired of being left in the damn dark with your shit!" He shouts at her. Sam never gets this angry.
"I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF!" She screams at him. He shakes his head.
"Tell me the damn truth!"
"Don't believe me? Fine!" She takes off her jacket and reveals her cuts. The many, many cuts on her arms. "Oh and if this doesn't show anything I could get the pills that I tried to take. Or I could just go take them now. You'd like that wouldn't you?" She yells as there are tears streaming down her face. Sam just stares at her.
"Nicole I-I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that I was doing this to you." He says walking toward her and she steps back.
"It's not only you! And you're making this about you! Sam it's everyone! All the people who you wouldn't expect it to be! All the people who are mad that I'm friends with you! Just leave!" She shouts at Sam. He backs up slowly then leaves. As quickly as I could I run up and hug her. "I though he was different." She says into shoulder.
"Let's get you inside." I say as I guide her.

"I thought Sam was different. I thought he wouldn't get mad that I was hanging out with my best friend. We aren't even dating!" She says and flops on her bed next to me.
"He just needs time to cool off. I did when I saw you with your cuts." I say quietly.
"But you handled it well, he screamed at me."
"Actually when you were in the shower I started yelling at myself. I called Lauren and yelled at her. She calmed me down." I say to her.
"You called Lauren?" She says getting a little angry.
"She was the only other person who knew what you've done. I had to talk to someone." I say and Nicole nods.
"Okay. So I just give Sam time to cool off? Do you think things will be back to normal?" She asks me. I shrug.
"He cares about you a lot. Believe me he's always wanting to come over and make sure you're okay. I don't think things will be exactly the same but I think he will understand why you did that and how you felt."
"Thanks Matt." She says as she hugs me and kisses my cheek. Only if that kiss was on my lips to show that she was mine. I love Nicole Marie Hanes. I loved her for five years. I'll love her from start to finish. Only if she felt the same way.