Linstead - Time To Fix Things

Chapter 21

Lillian was now one month old, after the first week in hospital and the next two weeks at home they were amazed at how amazing their daughter was. She slept through the night, she barely made a fuss unless she was hungry or needed to be changed and it took the bare minimum to settle her.

But the last week had been a nightmare, Erin had gotten a rough couple hours sleep here and there and Jay was stuck in a case. Natalie had come over to watch Lily so Erin could sleep and shower but all Lily wanted at the moment was the warmth and sound of her mother, no one else. Even when Jay had time to go home and check on them, or he was home for the night he wasn't what she wanted.

Natalie and Will tried assuring them that it was just a phase and she would hopefully grow out of it soon, but Erin didn't believe anything not while she was running on next to no sleep.

Finally Jay had closed the case they'd been working for the last six days, to say he was exhausted was an understatement but he knew not to complain in front of Erin, at least he was getting naps in while he had the chance at work or he'd leave half an hour early so he could sleep in the car. He felt bad but Hank was already getting frustrated with trying to get Erin her job back for when she was ready, so he didn't need one of his detectives slacking on the job.

Jay walked into his apartment, slowly he placed his gun and badge in the safe near the door, chucked his keys in the bowl on the hallway stand and kicked off his shoes. Then he made his way into his home only to find Erin swaying back and fourth in the kitchen, she was wearing one of his old army shirts, a pair of his old tracksuit pants because the amount of baby pee and spit up that she ended up wearing throughout the day she didn't want to keep chucking her good clothes out, all the old tattered ones were already ruined and she didn't quite fit in her pre baby ones. She had a burp cloth rested over her shoulder and her hair was in a messy bun.

Once she heard his footsteps she turned around and immediately bought her finger up to her mouth telling him to be quiet, he nodded as he approached her reaching out his arms. But Erin just shook her head and slowly started walking to her bedroom, still slightly swaying. Once she got inside she slowly bent over and gentle placed their tiny little girl in the bassinet that was next to Erins bed. Jay watched Erin with a smile, she was so amazing at this. Erin grabbed the baby monitor off the nightstand and quietly backed out of the room gentle shutting the door.

Jay followed her as she walked to the lounge and fell back into it, he could tell she was exhausted. So was it stupid to ask how her day was? Maybe but he didn't know what else to say.

"How was yo....." Jay started saying as Erin abruptly held up her hands and told him to stay quiet.

"I just need a minute."

Jay nodded and sat next to her, it was a full ten minutes before Erin opened her eyes and turned to him, he was still staring at her and she could tell he was fighting the urge to shut his eyes and fall asleep.

"Sorry it's just I have been standing up listening to a crying baby for the last two hours, I just needed a couple minutes of silence." Erin said exhausted, hoping Jay didn't get offended.

"Erin it's fine," Jay said getting closer to her.

"I love her to bits but I never knew I could be this tired, I mean this is just a whole other level of tired." Erin chuckled quietly, cozying up to Jays side.

He lifted his arm as she fell deeper into his side and started to rest her head on his toned chest, although he was muscular it was still so calming to her.

"I'm really sorry I can't help out more, I can try get more time off while Lil is going through this phase."

"Jay no seriously, I know it's not your fault. Also I don't want Hank getting any ideas about kicking you out of the unit, he needs you in it." Erin smiled, feeling her eyes get deeper.

"Yeah I know, it just sucks but I'm sure it will get better she's just adjusting." Jay said started to stroke Erins arm with his thumb.

"Thanks Jay, don't tell me like I don't know. You know how much time I have to research on google as to why our baby won't sleep?" Erin said as they both laughed.

"And what did google say?" Jay asked curiously.

"Nothing that i didn't already know or that Nat or Will have already said."

"I hope it gets easier soon, seeing you this tired kills me especially when I can't do anything. I feel like my daughter doesn't even realise I'm her dad because she never wants me." Jay said sadly, the first couple weeks were great, she always settled so easy with Jay but not at the moment.

"And in no time i will be having this conversation with you about how she doesn't want me anymore. It's a viscous cycle." Erin smiled, pulling back to look up at Jay.

"She's beautiful just like you Er." Jay said softly.
Erin stated quiet while they both stared at one another, it wasn't long before Jay was slowly tilting his head down to her lips. They both slowly felt the warmth rush over their bodies once their lips touched, this wasn't pregnancy hormones or them trying to fix the last this was two people falling for each other once again. Two people that once loved each other with every part of them but neither of them were strong enough to give one another that part of them. But now they had something together that took down that wall, they had something that connected them in ways they never knew possible. Maybe it was time to think about them as a family not just two seperate people raising a child together.