Under the Cherry Blossoms (Taejin/Kookjin)

Chapter 30.1 Thoughts Part 1

AUTHOR'S POV

It was Jungkook's and Jin's last day in the Jeon's vacation mansion in Daegu.

For the past few days, they were trying to patch things up through romantic dates. However, at some point, they ended up arguing due to unresolved issues.

Everything was a roller coaster of emotions. They were on the verge of breaking.

There were times that Jungkook could not control his jealousy and unintentionally brought up the whole Taehyung issue in their fights.

This only made Jin feel even more guilty for what he did. He kept on going back to the mindset that they will never be happy.

The fights were so intense that Jin almost gave up on their relationship. However, Jungkook can't bear to lose him. If he had to swallow his dignity for him, he would. If he had to kneel before him, he would. He just can't give up.

"Jungkook, we can't go on like this. I think, it's much better if---"

"Please don't even say it." Jungkook meddled, not wanting to hear the next words. Swallowing all his pride, he pleaded while caressing Jin's hands, "I'm sorry for saying hurtful things. Let's sit down and talk about this, okay?"

Getting soft from Jungkook's plea, Jin removed one of his hands from the grasp and motioned it to brush his boyfriend's cheek, while muttering a weak "Okay"

Jungkook cleared his throat, suppressing the cry threatening to escape. "Jin, I apologize for guilt tripping you and for always bringing out Taehyung's name in our arguments. I just can't fully comprehend the connection you have with him. You were only with him twice, while we are together for months." He paused and bit his lips. The next words were spoken in a fragile voice, "And yet, I feel like anytime you will leave me for him. I'm scared. I feel so insecure."

It broke Jin's heart to see the confident Jungkook to be this insecure. And he felt responsible for this.

Running his fingers on his boyfriend's cheeks slowly, Jin apologize for the nth time, "I'm really sorry for what I did, Jungkook. I'm sorry for making you feel insecure. It was never my intention to hurt you. Honestly, I also don't understand why I'm like this. And I hate it. I hate it because I hurt you, the man who loves me with all his heart."

He curled his lips up, trying to give Jungkook reassurance, "Please remember that I do have feelings for you. And I'm trying my best to erase these hesitations so that I can truly love you fully... so that I can give you the love you deserve."

Through conversations and kisses, they were able to temporarily resolve the conflict.

However, they were also fully aware that the issues they were facing in their relationship ran deeper than simple jealousy and uncertainty.

These issues were more of an inner battle: Jin with his mindset and Jungkook with his insecurities. These inner battles can lead to inconsistencies and turmoil.

No relationship is perfect and they are beginning to understand that.

*****

The Jeon's vacation mansion in Daegu were maintained by two middle-aged couple in their late forties, and a few helpers.

Mr. and Mrs. Yang have been loyal to the Jeon's family in decades. They have witnessed the growth of Jungkook whenever he visited the house. With this, Jungkook did not treat them any different. They were like a family.

Sitting comfortably on the soft couches situated on the veranda, Jungkook and Mr. Yang were gazing fondly at their lovers who were busy taking care of the flowers.