Under the Cherry Blossoms (Taejin/Kookjin)

Chapter 36.2 Falling Petals Part 2

AUTHOR'S POV

=== Present time ===

Jin pulled away from the kiss. "Taehyung, this is wrong."

He averted his gaze, trying not to look at the glossy eyes filled with tears of his first love. It pained him to see him this way. It was even more painful when he kissed him. The kiss was full of passion and longingness, something that he could not reciprocate at this time.

"What can I do to have you back?" Taehyung spoke in broken syllables, voice sounding like shattered glass.

Jin bit his lips, suppressing his sobs. His voice was trembling when he replied in between deep breaths, "Maybe this is how it is between you and me. We met by chance but we are never meant to stay together."

Never meant to stay together. Those words hit like a bullet, piercing through Taehyung's skin. Even though he was already wounded, he still tried to endure the hurt and hold on to the last thread of hope.

"What happened between us Jin is not a product of destiny. It's a product of our decisions. We may have met by chance, but we can always stay by choice. Can we stay by choice?"

Guilt dripped down Jin's throat.

Every time they see each other, it always starts with Taehyung showcasing his boxy smile that could brighten up the whole sky. His eyes are always glittering with hope and love. However, it always ends up with Taehyung losing his brightness. His eyes become gloomy with hurt and pain.

The worst part is it has become a cycle, always on repeat.

And Jin caused that. He was aware that the choices were made by both of them. Yet, he can't help but feel responsible. Because of his indecisiveness and hesitation, the bright smile became a gloomy frown and the glittery eyes became teary eyes.

He has broken Taehyung's heart two times. Now, he is going to break it again.

How can he live peacefully knowing that he has hurt the man who loves him with all his heart, not once, not twice, but thrice?

Words were trapped in Jin's throat. He had no idea what to say. He knew that there was a possibility for them to see each other again. He thought he was prepared. However, seeing Taehyung wither at this beautiful spring, he could not formulate any comforting words. He could only utter his name,

"Taehyung ~"

For Taehyung, the moment was a repetition of heartbreaks: first was when they parted ways under the cherry blossoms that night, second was when they parted ways after making love and third was when he left Seoul after a series of failed attempts to contact Jin. If ever, this will be the fourth. And this will be the most painful. If they part ways after this, there is no more chance, no turning back.

"I understand." He spoke, even if his heart did not comprehend at all.

He can't bear to see Jin feeling guilty. Hence, he decided to pretend to understand, even if it would mean giving up his happiness for the last time.

He had one request though.

"Can I ask you a favor, Jin?"

"What is it?"

"Can you not break my heart today? Even just for today. I have been dreaming for this moment for years, to be able to give you your ideal date. Can we pretend that everything is okay?" Taehyung paused, swallowing all his tears. "Just today."

Just for today.

"Y-yes." Jin nodded, wiping his wet face.

They put their masks on, smiling as if their hearts were not crying, chatting as if their throats were not dry and eating as if their bodies were not weak.