Midnight Doesn't Last Forever

Gone

So this was it. My final week on Earth. Ever

I never really thought this possible, and I never really thought about what I'd do if something like this did happen to me, so I'm pretty much unprepared. 

Harri has never really left my side, the doctors have allowed me to go home; they know what's going to happen. They told Harri about my extra operation and explained something didn't go as planned in the first, and so Harri has been worrying about me constantly, and holding me so close I'm afraid I might break a few more bones.

I don't really know what to say to him, whether to keep telling him that I love him so much nd that he won't even begin to fathom the how much I love him. I don't think I fully comprehend what's happening to me, and I don't have anyone to talk to apart for Harry and I seriously don't want to see him again. He has brought nothing but trouble into my life and I don't think I'll ever forgive him.

I was happy, I had a life ahead of me, bu all that's gone now because some stupid ass vampire liked me. This is worse than Twilight, at least she gets to stay with her boyfriend.

Four days before I die, Harri takes me for a walk in the local park, well, Harri walks and he pushes me along in my wheelchair. I keep beating myself up, I wish I could walk, I wish I could dance before I die.

This week sucks.

Three days before I die I ask Harri if we can have a Disney film marathon, and of course being the person he is he made the comfiest sofa even comfier by putting duvets and pillows all over it and he got all my favourite Disney films out. We start with Beauty and the Beast, which is my favourite Disney princess movie, and then we watch Mulan and then Pocahontas which are my second favourite Disney princess films. We also watch The Emperor's New Groove, Monsters Inc., Toy Story, Cars, and a few others that I wasn't really concentrating on.

I didn't want to go to sleep that night, but Harri lulled me to sleep and promised a Harry Potter marathon the next day.

Two days before I die, me and Harri have a Harry Potter marathon and I wear my Ravenclaw Quidditch shirt and Ravenclaw scarf. I feel incredibly special.

It's my last full day on Earth and I don't know what to do. I think I have been pretending that this day doesn't exist and if I don't think about it it won't happen. One thing that I know I have to do is make out with Harri one last time despite having massive casts on my legs, which suck. I can't really get it in my mind the fact that I am going to die tomorrow... I think it's hard for anyone to believe the fact that they are going to die.

I'm going to the hospital at around 11:00 tomorrow, so even on my last day I don't get to sleep in until the afternoon.

I decide that today I'm going to be watching and listening to all my favourite things,  I'm going to try and watch three episodes of Supernatural, two episodes of Doctor Who, an episode of Sherlock, and listen to all my Green Day and My Chemical Romance albums one last time.

It saddens me to know that it's going to be the last time I experience these things, and that I will never see Dean and Sam's face again, or I will never hear the emotional lyrics of Whatsername. Multiple times I felt like I was going to cry, but then I told myself I shouldn't, I shouldn't cry. I spend every second I can looking at Harri, or at least having his body close to mine. I've hugged him so many times in the past week he is almost finding it clingy, but he still goes along with it anyway.

I haven't indulged on chocolate, but instead eating a bit of all my favourite foods, tonight, for my last dinner, I'm having pulled pork and french fries, and I insist that I cook it, I've perfected my recipe for it.