11:11 (A Shawn Mendes Fanfiction)

Chapter 21

I realized I must have fallen asleep on the couch when I woke up at about 7:00 AM with a pounding headache and the same clothes I was in yesterday. I replayed the events in my head and instantly became upset once again. As far as I knew, Shawn and I were done and Patrick was still gone. I turned to the steps once I heard creaking. My father stood at the top of the steps and looked at me sympathetically. I stood up and met him in the middle of the stairwell before he enveloped me in his arms.
"Hey dad," I said casually. He patted my back as he continued to hold me.
"Hey, sweetheart," he replied, as if nothing was wrong. As if my heart wasn't broken and as if this family were still perfect. I enjoyed that moment of escaping the harsh reality we're facing. "The police have been out looking all morning," he said in a matter of seconds, bringing me out of my imagination. I sighed and pulled out of his hug, walking back down the stairs.
"I still can't believe this is happening," I told him truthfully.
"None of us can, honey," he comforted me. "Everywhere I look, I see him. He's in the puzzles on the shelf over there and he's in the orange juice in the fridge and I just don't think we'd be the same without him." Although it didn't make me feel much better, I appreciated his honesty and allowed him to explain and rant his feelings to me. I miss him when he leaves for business. It feels like every day that he is gone. I sat on the couch and realized that there is no way I could go to school today. My dad understood my request to stay home and called me in, explaining the situation.
I sat by the window at the front of the house and watched Shawn leave his house. Something inside of me wanted his arms around me again and his lips on mine but the rest of me knew that he was tearing my family apart. As he drove past my house slowly, I saw him briefly look to the front door and close his eyes regretfully before continuing normally down the road.
"I love you," I said quietly. It was true. I don't think I've ever been so conflicted in my life. All I know for sure is that if we never find Pat, I'll never forgive myself. And for Shawn and I to be together or even be near each other, I need Pat's approval.
I changed into some cropped leggings and a pink dance shirt from a competition last year. I grabbed the phone and held it in my hands, as if it were my last source of life. I prayed to God for something; a call, an update, something. As I put down the phone, there was a knock at the door. My feet carried me to the door and my mom came running from upstairs. I opened the doorway to find my prayers answered.
Two arms wrapped around my waist and tears began streaming down my face. Patrick was happy to be back, that's for sure. My mom picked him up and hugged him tighter than she ever has before. The officers stood in our doorway with satisfaction, knowing they had served their purpose of protecting the city. Our family was finally back to normal and I intended for it to stay that way. If things were constant in my life, maybe I'd be able to balance my time better than spending it all with Shawn. Not like that's a problem anymore, I guess. He practically hates me now, probably. My family sat down in the kitchen and my mom began preparing all of Patrick's favorite foods.
"Shawn here?" Patrick asked, looking around a little bit.
"No, Pat, he's gone," I told him, a wave of sorrow washing over my face.
"When he come back?" He wondered.
"I don't think he is coming back, Pat. If you don't like me spending time with him then I won't. You're the number one guy in my life and that's not going to change," I explained to him. He smiled widely and got up from his seat to hug me once again. That same grin spread onto my face, as well, knowing that I was making the right choice. My heart is with my family. That's where my love is.
The rest of the day consisted of making puzzles with Partick and my parents and playing board games. Today was a day filled with quality family time, which was much needed. My phone kept buzzing with texts from the girls and some from Colin and Jackson, but I didn't want to deal with anyone so instead of explaining to them what happened, I turned off my phone. I figured Shawn would probably tell them at lunch anyway. Once I finished the nice family dinner, I went up stairs and decided to take a bath. I ran the water, while I turned on my phone. I ignored all my texts from my friends, except one from Nash.
Nash:
hey, wanna talk later?
Me:
sure call me.
Since I had a waterproof case on my phone, I didn't have to worry about calling Nash from the bathtub. I threw in a purple and blue lush bath bomb right as my phone started to ring. I answered it as I stepped into the bathtub.
"Hey Nick, how are things going?" Nash's voice sounded through the phone. I remembered that I hadn't told him about finding Patrick yet and I hoped that he wasn't still looking.
"The police brought Patrick home and everything's how it should be, so I'm pretty happy I guess," I told him. I picked at the nail polish on my fingernails as I laid in the tub.
"That's great news!" He exclaimed. I knew there must a have been another reason for his call so I stayed quiet until he started speaking again. "So, if you don't mind my asking, why doesn't Patrick like Shawn?" He asked.
"Well Patrick has always been the number one boy in my life, so when I hangout with Shawn, Patrick feels like he's being replaced." I explained.
"What do you mean?"
"Like, I've had other boyfriends in the past and they always get me sidetracked from focusing on Patrick."
"So are you never going to get married?" He asked.
"I guess not, maybe I'll get some cats and enjoy living alone." I laughed to myself at my sad future.
"Seriously Nicki? You're going to have to figure something out with Patrick because I don't want to see you give your life away." He said seriously.
"Nash, you don't understand. I feel like I have to protect Patrick and support him and give him all my attention or else he might run away again or maybe something else could happen, I don't know." And with that, a tear fell down my cheek into the purple bath water. My future is probably going to suck.
"Nicole, you don't know that for sure. What happeneds when Patrick grows up and doesn't need you anymore?"
"That day will come and it will probably suck for me but at least I would know I made him happy before."
"Stop Nicki, you shouldn't have to sacrifice your life for his. Don't you want to focus on school or your sports? What do you want to be when you're older?"
"I've always wanted to be a performer, you know, sing, dance and act."
"That's cool what about college?"
"I want to go to school for performing arts and maybe every cheer in college."
"Well you can't." He stated sharply.
"What the heck?" I snapped back.
"If you keep running your life track the way you are, you won't be able to achieve your own goals. If you won't teach Patrick how to be independent, then you won't even be able to go to college."
That's when it all hit me. I wasn't focusing on taking the steps I need to prepare my future, or Patrick's.
"Wow. I can't believe how right you are. You give pretty great advice for a teenage vine star." I laughed, lightening the mood of this phone call.
"Sorry if I sound pretty harsh, but I don't want to see you upset like this. And I don't want to see you hand over your future. You've been so much support for Patrick and you are an amazing person. Usually I give people the opposite of this advice, but you've gotta be a little more focused on yourself."
"Ok I'll be selfish. Got it." I said sarcastically.
"You know what I mean."
"Nash, thank you so much for this advice, you've made me realize so much. I'm so glad I have a friend like you." I said as I shifted around in my bath.
"Anytime Nicki, I gotta go get ready for a Photoshoot but I'll talk to you soon." He said.
"Ooo, look at you, quite the model." I laughed and with that we said our goodbye and ended the call. Who knew that this would be such a productive bath? I got out of the tub, put on some pajamas, and fell asleep.