11:11 (A Shawn Mendes Fanfiction)

Chapter 23

When I got home, I happily sat with Patrick and did some word puzzles with him before he had to go to sleep. I changed into my pajamas and did the homework I was assigned to do for the night, and once the clock struck midnight, I was fast asleep in my room.
The next morning, I woke up and put on what I like to call, a "hobo outfit." Everyone's got one, even if they don't know it. Today, mine was a pair of Nike shorts that were a size too big with some spanks under them, and I pulled out a random T-shirt. I didn't even bother looking in the mirror, I just threw my hair into a ponytail. Since I have Cam now, how i appeared to guys didn't matter.
I wondered if Shawn was up to drive and get coffee early before school, so I shot him a text.
"if ur ready, wanna stop by dunkin donuts b4 school? lmk asap" I closed my phone and began putting things in my backpack. I pulled out my EOS lip balm from one of the pockets and applied it to my lips. As I did so, my phone vibrated as Shawn's name appeared on the screen. I smiled when I saw that the heart was still next to his contact name.
Shawn❤️: sounds good. be outside in 5. I'll drive.
I was so excited to hear all about his EP and what path his career is taking. We may not be together anymore, but it doesn't mean we can't still be friends. When I got outside, Shawn was leaning against the side of his car. He was wearing what he usually does. Some kind of plain shirt with navy khakis, or something like that. I'm not really familiar with the official names of boy clothes. Either way, he looked really good.
"Big day, huh?" I asked him, referring to the program on the radio later today. He looked up from his phone when he heard my voice. He smiled and his eyes lit up at the thought of his success beginning.
"I can't believe this is actually happening!" He exclaimed, putting his phone away. He ran around to the passenger side and opened my door away. Even if he wasn't my boyfriend, he was still a gentleman to me, which made it even harder to get past my feelings for him. "Nice shirt, by the way," he chuckled. I look down to notice it was the Magcon shirt I stole from him when we shared a room at the lake house. Once he sat down in the driver's seat and buckled in, I tried to explain myself.
"I just threw it on.. I wasn't really looking. If you want it back, you totally can take it," I attempted to form my rushing thoughts into words. He smiled as he stared behind him, pulling out of the driveway.
"Keep it. Whenever you wear it, you can remember those nights," he said as we began driving. I wrapped my arms around myself, enjoying the thought of that get away. The feeling of his fingers against my bare skin was still felt on my sides and on my arms. This comfortable silence was anything but quiet. I could practically hear his thoughts running though his head.
"Tell me about your EP!" I exclaimed. He grinned. His smile was still as perfect as ever.
"It's all been happening so fast. Since my news performance, when I wasn't spending time with you, I was in the studio. I've recorded a couple of the songs, but I just finished the most recent one yesterday. I'm probably going to sing it live tonight on the radio," he explained. "You'll love them. Mostly because you were part of the inspiration for them." I smiled and turned to look out the window. The more I looked at him, the more I wanted to be in his arms again and to call him mine.
We pulled into the Dunkin Donuts lot and got out of the car. It was pretty close to the center of town, but the drive seemed short after talking to Shawn. When we got inside, Shawn held the door open and let me in front of him. We ordered our coffee and Shawn payed, as usual. It was a kind gesture which I didn't really refuse since it was such a cheap thing. As we waited, two girls came up to Shawn.
"Hi! We were wondering if we could get a picture with you!" One of them said eagerly. Shawn happily accepted and put his arm around her shoulders. She handed me her phone and I snapped the picture. The other girl switched in to her friend's place and took a picture with him, too. It made me so content to see him with his fans.
"Just so you know, I ship you guys so hard!" The shorter one said, smiling at the both of us. My face probably went bright red, but I looked at Shawn. His eyes were already locked on mine, letting me answer the question. I laughed awkwardly.
"Thanks, but we're kind of just friends now," I told her, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. They looked a little disappointed, but mostly appeared as though they didn't believe it. When I looked back to Shawn, his head was hung low and he looked like he'd just been told some really bad news. I frowned and approached him. Then I realized it. He had given me the opportunity to change my mind. He told me he wanted me to be happy, in the hopes that he would get me back. And now, I've told his fans that we're not a thing anymore. I put my hand on his forearm lightly and he shifted slightly away.
"Shawn, I shouldn't have said that... I should've just thanked them and let it be," I told him. He shook his head and finally looked back into my eyes.
"No, you did nothing wrong... All you did was tell the truth. I just can't wrap my mind around it yet," he explained. My heart sunk to my stomach. Our coffees were on the table next to us, so I found a reason to turn away from his face. As I was putting the drink holders around them, he turned me around. "Just so you know, I'm not going to give up on us. I know I said I wanted you to be happy, but to hell with that! You were happy with me and I won't stop until I can call you mine again," he suddenly said, with ten times as much confidence as he had before. I didn't know what to say. I was working so hard to get over him. I had to get over him, it wasn't even a choice. And now he's just making it harder for me.
"Let me go, Shawn. I can't do this," I told him. It broke my heart to say those words to him. He let go of my arms and scratched behind his head. I handed him his coffee, hoping he'd see that I still want to be friends, and we left the shop with a little more tension than I had anticipated. The silence was still so loud, as Shawn stared intensely at the road ahead and gripped firmly onto the steering wheel. When we pulled into the parking space at school, I immediately opened the door and started walking. I heard quick steps behind me and the sound of the car locking. A hand grabbed my wrist and turned me around. It was Shawn, who immediately grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. I missed the feeling so much that pulling away was practically impossible. He eventually pulled away, and I kept my eyes closed. I couldn't find the strength to open them or see his expression. I bit my lip and turned around. Before I began walking, I took a deep breath, and I was heading into the building.
My mind was buzzing as I walked in the school and I arrived at my first class. I put my head to my desk for a moment. Did that really just happen? God everything is so confusing. He told me he wanted me to be happy and now he's kissing me randomly, and I have no idea what is even happening with Cameron. Just when things were working out, they fall apart again. I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Cam and one from Talia. Cam's was a simple "good morning beautiful❤️" while Talia was asking why I didn't meet up with them this morning in the hall. I sighed and returned my phone to its place in my bag.
Once the bell rang and I made my way to my second class, I awkwardly ran into Shawn in the doorway. He noticed I was next to him after a moment and tried to make some sort of sentence. I don't blame him, I guess. But I would like some sort of explanation.
"I'm not going to apologize for what I did," he said unexpectedly. I pursed my lips and began walking into the room. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into the hallway against some lockers. "Nicki, why should I apologize? I love you and we can work this out," he pleaded. What was coming over him? This is a completely different Shawn.
"That doesn't mean that you can just treat me like we never ended things, Shawn! I told you I needed time and you need to give it to me," I stated confidently before abandoning his side to enter the classroom. Throughout the rest of the day, including lunch, I saw him stealing glances at me and looking away when my eyes met his. I could tell he knew he had done something wrong. But I do wish all of this wasn't happening before he talked about some of the songs on his new EP. At lunch, it was the topic of discussion and I sort of sat there silently.
"So, what are some of the songs you're playing?" Emily asked him, looking at him from across the table. She sat next to me, eating some homemade salad that always made me wonder how she has time to even make it.
"Well, they'll probably play Life of the Party first. And I'll talk about the inspiration behind it and stuff. Also, I asked them to play a couple other songs, both new, called Show You and One of Those Nights. I don't want to give a lot away though, because you'll all love listening to it live," he told them. I listened intently even though I refused to give him much attention right now. I felt his eyes glaring right through the side of my face, so I pretended that I was looking at something interesting on my phone. "But I'm also doing a song live," he continued. "It's called The Weight. And it's probably the best song on the EP."
I couldn't help but smile at his excitement. He probably saw that I was grinning as I pretended I wasn't paying attention, because he laughed a little bit at my failed attempt to stay uninvolved. I looked up to meet his gaze and he was smiling at me. In an effort to stop it, I slyly brought up my phone and took a snapchat of Shawn. When I looked down at it, it was him making a ridiculous look somewhere between his love for me and his anger that I was Snapchatting him. I typed "tune in at 6 on LA radio!" and posted it to my story before he came over and tried to take my phone from my hands. Morgan and Sophie, along with all of our other friends, were looking at us longingly. They probably all missed the days when we were in love and inseperable. I did, too. The only things that really stood in the way were Patrick, and now, Cameron.
I wish Colin and Emily would start showing a connection like ours because maybe if they did, the attention would be less focused on Shawn and I. I walked to my next class wondering what Shawns new music would sound like. What the mood of the songs would be and which ones I was the inspiration for. After school I met Shawn in front of the pool door enterance, considering he was my ride home. He shyly smiled as I approached him and we walked out to his car. The car conversation was lacking, so I decided to start it up.
"I can't wait to hear your new songs." I said cheerfully.
"I can't wait either. I hope everyone likes them." He said, nervously moving his fingers around on the steering wheel.
"Don't worry, everyone will love them. The whole world already loves you." I said putting my hand on his shoulder.
"Are you included in all those people who love me?" I smirked.
"Yeah." I laughed awkwardly. "So, what did you write the new songs about?" I said redirecting the topic.
"Well, the song 'Show You' is sort of a message to my haters." We both laughed because that sounded so clique.
"Shoutout to all my haters." I said obnoxiously and Shawn laughed at me. Then his face became more serious as he continued talking.
"You were sort of the inspiration for the other two songs." He said, scratching the back of his neck, with one hand still resting on the steering wheel.
"In a good or bad way?" I asked, praying he'd say good.
"You'll have to wait and see." He taunted, turning his head and grinning at me. I returned the smile before realizing we were parked in my driveway.