A month or so passed, with very little to no hope. I wanted to end it all every single day and I never understood why I didn't. I walked the halls feeling empty, hopeless, and broken beyond repair. There was no longer any point in pretending or crying out for help. Everyone knew I was broken and couldn't be fixed.
Then one day, the final straw fell. I was talking to Lavontrae, but he wasn't comforting. He was silent. I asked him what was wrong, he said he felt the same way I did but he knew he couldn't tell me. He wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible.
I felt myself break into even tinier pieces. I caused him to hoard his emotions in his head, all while carrying the weight of my issues on his shoulders. It was all my fault.
Look what you've done, you little skank! You broke him!!! He's going to die because of you! Isaiah will never love you, you're too selfish!!! Every time you talk to him, you take him down deeper into your dark hole!!
It was all true. I finally realized that I belonged in hell, with the other evil spawns of the world. So I made a plan to end it all. I decided I would run away, no food, no water. I would bring an over-sized hoodie to put on over my clothing, so if the police were called I wouldn't match others' description of me. I would delete the school app from my mother's phone, so she wouldn't get an attendance notification. It was foolproof.
Then finally, it would be over.
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One Thing On Top of the Other
NonfiksiJazmyn has struggled for most of her life. She struggled in school, at home, and with friends. She'll manage to get it together for a little while, but then she falls back into the same tragic circle she's been in for years. Will she finally have a...
