Blackmailed Into The Band

Where He Stops

As soon as he left the hospital a few days later, Josh cut everyone out of his life. None of us knew why or when it happened but he gradually stopped communicating with us. He stopped replying to our group messages and his parents didn't let us see him anymore.

When school started, we went back without Josh and planned a surprise visit after the first day of class was over.

" I'll drive," Phillip offered as we walked towards his car. Aidan got in the passenger seat, leaving me and Carter in the back. As we drove towards Josh's place, I wondered if there was a reason we hadn't heard from him in weeks.

As soon as we parked in his driveway, his dad came out.

" Hey kids," He said nervously.

" Hi, is Josh home?" Aidan asked.

" He is," His dad said, indicating that something was wrong.

" Can we go see him?" Carter asked.

" No, he's taking a nap," His dad said.

" It's like 5 in the afternoon..." Aidan muttered.

" Yeah but Josh has been tired lately."

" Why did he stop talking to us?" I asked.

" He did?" His dad's words sounded rehearsed. " I had no idea! I'll talk to him about it when he wakes up, see you guys around," He said before retreating back into the house.

" Wait!" Phillip said, speaking for the first time.

Mr. Cartel stepped out again. " Yes?"

" I have his school work," He said quietly, reaching into his book bag and pulling out a few worksheets.

Mr. Cartel sighed.

" You know what? Just go in and give it to him. Be careful though. Josh hasn't been himself since the accident."

We walked inside the house, fearing what we'd see in Josh's room. What was left of our guitarist?

Aidan opened the door quietly and we walked in, spotting him on the window ledge holding his guitar. He looked like he was crying and not really there. He didn't notice us.

The guys looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Phillip looked at me, motioning for me to go ahead. I nodded, taking Josh's schoolwork and walking up to him.

" Hi Josh," I said, sitting by his feet. When he looked at me, I almost didn't recognize him. His cheeks were hollow and his pale skin sent shivers down my spine. His happy eyes were dark, almost as dark as Aidan's which didn't fit him.

" Josh?"

I waved my hand in front of him, making him blink. I turned around, motioning for the rest of the guys to come in and help me. Josh hugged his guitar closer to his chest, as if we were here to take it away from him.

" Holy shit," Aidan muttered, kneeling beside his best friend (or the remnants of him). " Josh? Are you okay?" He asked, tapping Josh's cheek as if he'd break.

" Woah," Phillip said, joining Aidan.

Carter and I stayed behind, frightened by our friend who was on the verge of death. We could all see it. He had tiny vultures flying around his head.

" Josh?" Aidan called again, tapping his cheek.

I looked at Carter who was still frozen beside me. What could we do to bring our Josh back?

" Can I talk to him?" I asked. Carter was the first to nod and walk out. Phillip followed hesitantly. I looked at Aidan who was still kneeling on the floor, gazing at his friend.

" Aidan, let me talk to-"

" This is all your fault," Aidan said, glaring at me. I stepped away from him, shocked by his tone. " If it wasn't for you, Josh wouldn't be like this," He said, standing up and motioning at his friend.

I held back my tears and asked him to leave.

" Fine, but if I come back and see this," He pointed at the unmoving Josh," I will hurt you," He threatened before leaving the room.

I looked at Josh, wide eyed as he finally reacted when the door closed.

" Did you hear that? Aidan's going to hurt me," I said, kneeling beside him. " I know you can hear me so please talk to me," I said, earning a twitch from his lips. " We miss you," I added, waiting for a response. " Your parents are worried. I'd hate to see them lose two kids," I added.

" They haven't lost me," He finally said.

I jumped at the sound of his raspy voice, dry from crying or maybe not speaking for a long time.

" You're hurting all of us," I said, sitting beside him. He tightened his grip on his guitar.

" I don't care," He said, looking out the window. I glanced at the guitar in his arms before something caught my eye. He was wearing long sleeves despite the warmth in the house...

" Josh? Have you been... You know? Hurting yourself?"

He kept staring out the window. I focused on his reflection and saw that he was crying again.

" Why?" I asked, feeling my heart break over and over again.

" I don't know."

" What do you mean you don't-"

He turned to look at me. " I just lost the only light in my life." He said, wiping his eyes. " And I don't want to live anymore."

" Don't say that. Think of the ones who love you. Your mom and dad would lose their second child. They love you, Josh. Aidan was devastated. Maybe that's why he threatened me, he probably did it out of fear. Carter was shocked to see you like this. And Phillip was about to cry... Josh, we don't want you to keep being like this. You have to come back," I said.

He loosened his grip on the guitar. His fingertips were bleeding.

" I lost everything," He repeated.

" No you didn't," I said. He looked at me, eyes expressionless with dark bags under them, cheeks hollowed out as though he was sucking them in.

" Alexia I'm sorry but I can't continue... I've lost my will to live," He said.

" So let's find you a new reason to live! If you die, you won't be here to receive Drea when she comes home. You won't be here with the band to play shows and get in trouble and get arrested with us for doing stupid stuff. You won't be here for new songs, new albums, the fans, the rush of singing in front of them. You still have your voice, deep down inside, you're still the emo kid I met a few months ago. You have everything except the ability to play a guitar. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. I know it sounds cruel, but the world doesn't revolve around you and it will not let you hit a snooze button on your life until you decide you're in the mood to come back. The world is a fast place and it will leave you behind. Either you come back to us or we bring you back," I said.

He smiled. " This is why you're my favorite girl," He said, making my whole lecture seem stupid and irrelevant.

" If you die, your favorite girl won't be anyone's favorite anymore," I said.

He wiped his eyes, letting go of the guitar. I picked it up before it fell, surprised that he gave it up.

" You'll be okay, right?" I asked.

He nodded. " Eventually," He said, pulling his sleeves down.

I heard clapping outside and Carter cheering. Pesky little eavesdropping assholes...

As embarrassed as I was, I loved them all and would rather have them eavesdropping than falling down like Josh. I turned to look at him and felt relieved when I saw no more vultures above him.