flower boy | seungjin

17

When Hyunjin wakes up, the unfamiliar setting throws him straight into panic mode and he bolts up. The room's softly decorated white walls and white furniture with navy accents sends his heart-rate flying and he notices the random patches of colour on the floor beside him... clothes. 

Hyunjin can't even bear to look at the person next to him, still sound asleep under the covers far on the other side of the queen-sized bed. His mouth goes dry and he runs out, stopping to pull on his jeans and jumper over boxers that he's still wearing. 

Then comes the question of how does he get back home? He doesn't know where he is, he wasn't paying attention last night when he and Nancy...

No. He forces his legs to propel him in any direction, until things start to look vaguely familiar and he finally comes onto the right street.

To anxious to wait for the lift to come, Hyunjin takes the stairs, barrelling up them two at a time until he reaches the fourth floor, pushing through the door opening up onto the end of the hallway. He runs past doors that blur by, trying to focus on his limbs through his fogging head and rapid breathing. 

The relief that fills him when there's no one to confront him in the living room nor the kitchen when he finally gets into the apartment is overwhelming. He goes straight into his room and locks the door, finally stopping to catch his breath. His face screws up and he lets out a trembling breath.

His hands curl up into fists against the wood and his head drops against it. Hyunjin winces at the momentary pain in his forehead, but shrugs it off and bears it anyway. If anything, he does it again, hitting his head against the hard door until his eyes start to sting. What have you done? He curses himself. 

Although he really doesn't want to, Hyunjin forces himself to think back over everything that happened the night before. 

He wasn't drunk, even though he almost wishes he was. That might make this the tiniest bit easier to cope with. But no, Hyunjin was completely and 100% sober for the whole night. He knows that nothing really happened, but that doesn't change anything. The thing is, something nearly did, and would've if Hyunjin hadn't hit his head so badly on the headboard, making him come to his senses as well as giving him a killer headache.

All that had taken place, and then Nancy had just told him to stay over anyway. "It's too late to be walking back by yourself anyway," she'd said.

Pushing himself away from his door, Hyunjin starts tugging his clothes off of his body, chucks them into a pile in the corner and picks up his towel. 

When he leaves his room, wrapped in nothing but said towel, Jaemin appears in his doorway. He gives Hyunjin a weary look with his eyes drooping closed, and his mouth curves into a small smile of greeting before he walks off into the kitchen, leaving Hyunjin alone again.

Even with the steaming water running down his back and the fogged up room providing a lulling atmosphere that makes him want to drop to the floor and sleep, Hyunjin's mind is haywire still. The sick feeling returns to his stomach, at the thought of what if and how, and it won't go away. The imagining of it feels so wrong, especially when he thinks of it with Nancy. 

The wrong person.

Screwing his eyes shut tight, Hyunjin tries to force the thoughts away but hardly succeeds, and now his brain can't stop thinking of Seungmin, and every memory that has ingrained itself into Hyunjin's consciousness of its own accord. The bright, beaming smiles and the light that always seems to radiate from him, his soft spoken voice that instantly calms Hyunjin down, his smart, snappy comebacks aren't always meant or welcomed, but a part of Hyunjin likes them nonetheless.

God, what the fuck were you even thinking?

The shower still running, the glass completely fogged up around him, Hyunjin's legs give up and he drops to the floor, crossing his legs. He focuses on the water running around him, and the heat rash slowly appearing on his legs.

He sniffles, and his face becomes damp from something other than the water falling around him.

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a/n: mmm so basically the entirety of this chapter was just supposed to give some insight on Hyunjin's conflicted ass emotions but IT FEELS LIKE A MESS AND I DON'T KNOW IF I DID IT OKAY ENOUGH 

btw i do NOT condone cheating and of course Hyunjin in my story does not represent Hyunjin in real life

have your thoughts on Hyunjin changed since last chapter? How so?