flower boy | seungjin

25

"Jeno, this has gone way too far."

"Hm? And what will you do about it? He already ended it."

Jaemin cards his hand through his hair, swooping it off his face as he lets out a breath. "I can't sit here and be privy to your plans to torment people and act like nothing's wrong."

"So?" Jeno doesn't look up from his laptop.

"So I'm breaking up with you."

It takes a few seconds to register in Jeno's mind, but when it does his eyes widen and his head whips up, suddenly cased in fear and shock. "What?" he stutters. "You can't do that." Something in Jaemin's chest pangs at the emotions so blatantly displayed on his lover's face, however he knows better than to believe them.

"I can," he says, "And I will. You're not a good person, you need time on your own to realise that. I thought I could help you, but I guess I can't."

His gaze flickering round the room - focusing on anything and everything but Jaemin himself - and Jeno gulps. "J-Jae..." he whispers, "Don't, I won't be able to live without you. I'll die."

It almost breaks him. If this were even six months prior, Jaemin would've fallen for that in a heartbeat, and even now he struggles to keep his composure. "No - you won't. I doubt you even love me as you claim to. Did you ever?"

All it takes is Jeno's slight hesitation to make Jaemin scoff. "Really..." he can feel the stinging starting behind his eyelids, eventually blurring over his eyesight and he wipes frantically at his eyes. "And what did you gain, from hurting Hyunjin so much? It was so obvious he didn't want to, so why did you force him? Why, Jeno? Why?" He sniffs.

Jeno shrugs, "It's fun. And perhaps you didn't notice," he carries on, his voice suddenly hardening, "But Hyunjin made the final choice to do what he did. I didn't fucking brainwash him."

"No, it's all your fault." He argues, "You made him feel like he had no other option, like if he didn't then the outcome would be even worse. Don't try and deny it." Jaemin storms away, not even giving Jeno the chance to speak again before he's tugging his coat over his shoulders. Just as he steps beyond the apartment door, Jeno appears in his line of sight. Jaemin gives the boy one last glare before slamming the door shut.

"Hey, I was wondering something." His hands fumble together in his lap, his voice suddenly shaking.

Jaemin's therapist glances up from his laptop and smiles. "What's up?"

The boy shuffles in his seat. "You remember Hyunjin? Who I was talking to you about a couple weeks ago?" Doctor Seo nods. "Well, everything's gone a little downhill. I tried to offer advice, but I think he could do with someone else's help as well. Can I bring him along to my next appointment and you talk to him? I know we're supposed to book, but that could take a while and he might not end up with you. Please?"

Doctor Seo smiles, "Sure, I don't mind."

"Thanks, Johnny," Jaemin smiles.

It's when Jaemin is heading for the reception of the hospital that he spots him. Ruffled hair, slightly skewed glasses and clad in plain pyjamas, but all the same Jaemin recognises him. His feet skid to a stop as he watches Kim Seungmin in the cafeteria, sitting across from two other boys. What's he doing here? he wonders to himself.

Without thinking, Jaemin's legs begin to carry him farther away from reception and through the wide glass doors, into the brightly lit cafeteria filled with small, rickety tables and the smell of cheap food. He beelines for the trio, stopping just in front of them.

Seungmin stares up at him in shock for a moment, until one of the other boys clears his throat.

"Can we help you?"

It sounds cold - although what else should Jaemin expect if he just walked up to their table without them knowing who he is? He doubts even Seungmin recognises him.

His answer comes out quietly and shaking, but they hear it nonetheless. "C-can I talk to Seungmin... please?"

Said boy's eyes widen again as this stranger seems to know him. "Uh... yeah, okay." He starts to stand up until the other of his companions grabs his arm.

"Are you sure?"

Seungmin nods, "Jae, I'll be fine."

The two of them leave the cafeteria and stand just outside the door - so Jae and the other boy can still see them, but they're out of earshot.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Seungmin asks. The questions are meant to sound demanding, but from the boy in front of Jaemin, his voice sounds a little too soft and disheartened.

Suddenly Jaemin finds himself tongue-tied. "I'm..." he starts. Seungmin raises an eyebrow, but doesn't make to move away. "I'm friends with Hyunjin."

That does it. Seungmin rolls his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, and turns to walk away, but Jaemin grips his wrist before he can. "I swear, he doesn't know I'm here. There's something you should know."

Seungmin nods to his hand. "Let go, please."

Jaemin lets go.

"What are you going to tell me that I haven't already figured out?" the boy lets out a heartless laugh. "I got played, tricked, and used. Hyunjin never fucking loved me... but I guess I'm interested to find out what else there is to the story that I so desperately need to know - will it make me feel better?" The sarcasm oozes from his voice, and he can't make his distaste anymore obvious if he tries. Still, Jaemin holds his ground.

"Hyunjin did love you," he starts.

"Bullshit."

He sighs. "It's true... It's not up to me to tell you every little detail, but the day he broke up with you, Hyunjin came back to our flat in pieces."

If that statement makes Seungmin feel anything, he doesn't show it. "So what happened?"

"The night after you met, Hyunjin got dared to make you fall in love with him, and then break your heart." Jaemin figures being brutally truthful is the best way to go about this. "The boy who dared him is someone who revels in seeing others hurt, and has been digging into Hyunjin's mind for years. He made Hyunjin feel like following what he wanted was his only choice. Please trust me when I say that he didn't want to hurt you."

Seungmin sighs. "And what if you're wrong?"

"I can't speak for Hyunjin, but I've known Jeno for as long as I can remember. I know his mind inside and out."

"And if I don't believe you?"

Jaemin slumps his shoulders, "Then I guess that's your choice," he says, nodding. "I just thought you deserved to know what happened." Without another word, Jaemin turns on his heel and slowly walks away, feeling a growing pit in his stomach that he couldn't quite place a meaning to.

He leaves the hospital, making it out into fresh air. He stops at the edge of the pavement, shoving his hands in his pockets and sighing to himself as his mind's inner turmoil continues.

Am I doing the right thing?

———
a/n: do you agree with Jaemin that Jeno is mostly/ if not entirely to blame? Or do you think something different? Let me know :)

God I sound like my English teacher demanding we write an essay on who's to blame for Romeo and Juliet's deaths.