flower boy | seungjin

31

The first few weeks of summer pass by under the heat of the sun and Hyunjin and Jisung's relationship slowly begins to reform. Seungmin notices how they become more comfortable around each other, and feels a proud smile permanently etched onto his face for Hyunjin. He was right: coming back to Korea has made a world of difference in so many ways. 

It takes Hyunjin two weeks to fall asleep without crying after belatedly hearing about his father's death. Maybe the man hadn't been related by blood, but he was the only person who treated Hyunjin like family. Even after those weeks, Seungmin still catches him zoning out alone in his room, or leant over the sink in the bathroom with a swollen, trembling lip and shaking hands. 

Each time, Seungmin tries to comfort him, but having never lost anyone close to him therefore not having a clue what it's like, he struggles. Hyunjin seems to appreciate his efforts though, so he doesn't stop.

"Sorry I'm always like this," Hyunjin says to him one time after Seungmin discovers him crouched at the back of the garden leaning against the fence with his gaze directed at the sky.

Seungmin drops down beside him, taking up the same position. "You shouldn't apologise," he says, "You're not doing anything wrong."

"I feel like I'm an inconvenience."

He shakes his head. "If anyone's bothered by what you're feeling, then that's their problem. Not yours, okay?" Hyunjin's head falls to Seungmin's shoulder and he nods.

Hyunjin sighs, mind being put at ease by the company of Seungmin. A while ago, the two of them in a situation like this and in a position like the one they're in would have made Hyunjin feel worse - as he'd only long for what they used to have, or a better, untwisted version of it. It would've been all he could think about, until the only way he could redirect his thoughts was to move.

But now, sitting with their backs against the wall, arms pressed together and his head on Seungmin's shoulder, Hyunjin is content. He's realised that actually, what they have right now is better than back in New York - happier, with all of their secrets out in the open.

Well, all of them except one.

Hyunjin still hasn't told Seungmin that he's planning on staying in Korea. Every time he tries, his heart beats too fast or Seungmin does something that makes him want to leave it just a little longer.

But half of their two months is already behind them, so Hyunjin knows he'll have to say it sooner rather than later. 

---

That evening, Hyunjin decides he's going to cook dinner for all of them... including Minho, even though the older looks like he's expecting him to inject poison into the food or something.

It's nothing too dramatic, just a pasta dish with chicken meatballs and pesto that really doesn't take long to make. As he's chopping up the peppers, Jisung sits across the counter, fiddling with the pages of a book. it doesn't take him long to realise what Hyunjin's cooking, and a smile appears on his face when he does. 

"This is the dish that Dad always made after he got home late, right?" Jisung asks. Hyunjin nods. "Since when did you learn to make it?"

Pausing for a second, Hyunjin tilts his head to the side as he thinks. "I guess I watched him make it enough times that I remembered what he did... I'm not really sure," he chuckles. 

Jisung laughs, "Fair enough." He fans at himself, trying to cool down in the hot kitchen. Without thinking, he tugs up the sleeves of his hoodie to try and bring himself some relief, not noticing when Hyunjin's eyes land on the inside of his arm and looks back at him with wide eyes.

Hyunjin puts the knife down on the counter. "That scar..." he can't remember seeing it before, but then again... he never payed much attention to his younger brother, "I-it wasn't me... was it?" He doesn't think he could ever forgive himself if he really caused that.

In that split second, Jisung realises what he's talking about and hastily tugs his sleeve back over the long scar running down the inside of his left wrist. "No," he says. "That wasn't you... I promise," he adds after seeing Hyunjin's doubting face. "Just a stupid accident, I don't really wanna talk about it." He glances at his hands whilst biting his lip, actively refusing to look up again until he sees Hyunjin carry on cooking.

The elder nods, closing his mouth and doing his best to forget the matter.

Something in him can't though, and he sighs. Maybe one day he'll find out what really happened, because the pit in his stomach is refusing to go away and the feeling in his gut isn't a good one. Maybe in a couple years Jisung will tell him. But even if it's never, Hyunjin knows he'll have to deal with it. Stop thinking about it, now, he tells himself. It's none of your business.

"Something smells good!" Hyunjin looks up as Seungmin and Minho walk into the house from the garden. Minho pulls the second stool next to Jisung and slides in beside him, while Seungmin leans on the edge of the counter, offering Hyunjin a smile. 

Hyunjin chuckles, "Don't get too excited - it's not that special. What were you doing in outside anyway?"

"He was teaching me some stuff about flowers," Minho replies before Seungmin gets the chance to.

"Yeah, he asked me how to say 'Fuck you' with a bouquet of flowers."

"Geraniums, foxglove, meadowsweet, yellow carnations and orange lilies," Hyunjin successfully recounts with a grin, spinning to Seungmin for approval - which he receives - before turning to Minho with a smirk. "Wait... that wasn't for me, was it?" The eldest rolls his eyes before sneering at him, but his aggressive attempts turn into laughter when Jisung whacks him on the arm... a few times.

"Okay I'm sorry!" Minho screeches, almost falling off the stool in his strive to get away from his boyfriend.

An hour later, after the four of them have eaten and washed up, Jisung and Minho retreat to the sofa while Hyunjin turns to Seungmin, stopping him from following them.

"Hey," he says softly. "Do you want to go out for a bit? A know a really great place to watch the stars from."

It doesn't take Seungmin long to agree, "Sure."

They quickly let the others know before grabbing their big puffy coats to wear and running out through the door, into the fresh night sky.