The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings Imagines

Beside You -Fili

(Author's Notes: This is a request made by @starksundeaddaughter (why won't it let me tag youuuuuuuuuuuuu???). They asked if I could write a Fili X Hobbit!Reader who is depressed and he comforts the reader and lots of fluff.

I wasn't really able to include the reader being a Hobbit so I opted to just put X Reader. And I'm not sure if this is fluff enough, but I hope this is still to your liking and this brings some comfort to the people who will read this.

If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is open. If you think you need to seek professional help, do so. Your feelings are valid.

Warnings: mentions/description of being depressed so if this triggers you, please do not read)

Your body feels heavy, too heavy to carry around. The desire to stay in bed and do nothing was tempting. You knew there were a million things to do, like clean up your room and make yourself look proper and do your responsibilities.

But all you could do was sit on the edge of the bed, stare on the floor, and try your best not to cry.

Was it difficult? Was it difficult not to cry?

In some ways, yes. So many thoughts were running through your head but they weren't giving you any reason to be happy. Your insecurities have found their way out of the chest that you locked and kept in the back of your mind and they began to whisper and scream. They reminded you of all the things you hated about yourself, about the things that you wanted to be but could never become, about the things that you regretted and wished you could change.

In some ways, no, you found it easy not to cry. But it wasn't because you found a glimmer of hope. It was because you felt numb, like there was a gaping hole in your chest. It was weird, how you could feel so heavy yet so empty at the same time. You tried clawing and searching for some emotion left in your heart but you couldn't find anything.

Once again you find yourself drowning.

You've been through this but it never gets easier. Every time you succumb to these thoughts, you feel like there's no escape. And to make it more difficult, you only have yourself to depend on. There were moments you wanted to ask for help, and there were times you tried to open up to others. But every time you did so, you always regretted it. They made you build your walls higher and stronger than before, because even though you knew their intentions were good, they only made you feel worse.

Sometimes you contemplated on letting the darkness pull you down.

Sometimes you contemplated on giving up.

Sometimes the idea of drowning and staying underwater was tempting.

But someone came and held your hand.

Just like how he always does on days like this, he sat beside you and took your hand in his. Even though you felt tired and empty, you could not deny the warmth his hold brought. He sat there and was silent for a while. In that silence you became aware of how his shoulder, arm, and leg touched yours.

He said nothing, but it was enough to let you know that you weren't alone anymore.

After some time he turned to you, gave you a small smile, and asked, "Would you like to talk about it?"

On other days, you would say yes and you would proceed to tell him what's bothering you. And when you do, he would just listen intently (and he always made sure to show that he was indeed listening) and let you speak. With him, you never felt afraid to be more open.

But today you didn't feel like talking, so you shook your head and placed your head on his shoulder.

He placed an arm around your shoulders and drew you close to him, tucking your head under his chin and drawing circles on your arm and back. The two of you sat in silence, not caring about how everyone outside the room was running around doing what they need to do that day.

Indeed the world would keep on turning and time would not wait for anyone.

But it didn't mean you had no right to stop and care for yourself when you feel overwhelmed.

"Know that I'm always here for you," he whispered, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

His words made your throat hurt and soon tears were running down your cheeks. But they weren't only because of what you'd been holding back.

They were also from relief, from being assured that you have someone to lean on.

From knowing that you're not alone.

"Fili?" you whimpered.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Thank you."