Two Ghosts

Chapter 8

By the time Santana gets home, it's just after sundown. She had sat in her car after the argument with Brittany and just stared out the window for what felt like hours. She couldn't remember a time she felt this horrible. She kept replaying the way Brittany looked at her when she said goodbye; as if it was truly their last one.

She can't decide if that feeling in the pit of her stomach was guilt or regret, but as she continued to playback Brittany's words over and over in her mind she decides it's both. She just feels so terrible for how things went down and now, she has no idea how to fix things.

If she even can.

There's also that little part of her that begs to know what Brittany wanted to say, but she doubts she'll ever find out now.

When she gets inside, her body feels so sluggish. Everything hurts for some reason and Maribel notices immediately as Santana slumps onto the couch in the living room. Maribel eyes her curiously from the other end and puts down the book she had been reading.

"Rough day on the field?" Maribel asks.

"Something like that." Santana mutters and pulls the throw blanket that rests over the back of the couch to cover her legs.

Maribel gives her a concerned look as Santana swipes at her phone.

"The girls on the squad behaving?" Maribel tries again but Santana just shrugs.

"Besides the reason why I don't want kids aka Alex being her usual self, everyone was fine." Santana answers and she doesn't even have to look up from her phone to know Maribel's trying to figure her out, she can just feel it.

"This isn't about Brittany, is it?" Maribel asks and Santana kind of hates how intuitive her mother can be. She had learned early on that nothing gets past her.

"No, it's not about Brittany." Santana lies, "It was just a bad day. I'll be okay."

Maribel pats Santana's feet over the blanket comfortingly, "Well you can talk to me, mija. Whatever's the matter, I'm here."

Santana peeks up at Maribel and gives her a small smile, "Thanks, mami."

Maribel just hums her response as she gets up and heads to the kitchen, "I made rice and beans, Abuela's recipe. I'll make you a plate, rice and beans can cure everything."

Santana nods although her mother's already out of the room. She's been so caught up in thinking about Brittany and how the day panned out that she hadn't realized her stomach was rumbling. She's thankful for the plate Maribel offers and they spend the rest of the night watching whatever reality show is playing on TV.

It's almost enough to distract her from her thoughts, but she's grateful for the peace, even if it's only for a moment.

\\

The next day Santana awakes, she spends the morning contemplating returning to New York. She told Brittany she was considering it, but in reality what was she going to go back to? She didn't have a job or an apartment to return to and not much money saved up since she pretty much drained her account by moving back to Lima. Truth is, she was stuck here and the only way out was to continue coaching the Cheerios.

She knew she had to make nice with Brittany, or at least keep things civil because they're basically coworkers and they needed to be united when coaching the Cheerios. They couldn't stress working together and being a team to the squad if they weren't setting the example. Still, it was a hard pill to swallow for Santana because it meant she needed to apologize.